A Summer To Die For | Teen Ink

A Summer To Die For

June 15, 2010
By taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.


Chapter One


Oh great, just what I needed. Allen was a total mess tonight. It was going to be terrible trying to get him back to--. This wasn’t my problem, nope. Allen Thompson had dumped me a month ago for… her. Claudia, that complete and total witch.

“Leslie!” Corey Simmons, my best friend ever, cut me out of my thoughts, “Come on! I have curfew,” Then under her breath added, “Unlike some people.” Like she thought I couldn’t hear her. She jangled her keys and started for the exit. Why did Allen dump me? I realized that I was getting back into a rut, but at the moment, to be quite frank, I couldn’t have cared less. Allen might’ve been a total mess right then, but it didn’t stop me from thinking. What wouldn’t I give to hear his deep voice whisper (somewhat) quietly in my ear, to feel his strong arms around me, keeping me secure. What I wouldn’t do to feel his lips on mine as he have me those sweet kisses, hear the words “I love you” that came out of his mouth at the most unexpected times. The list went on and on. All I’d had to drink was Sprite, had someone spiked my drink? I hadn’t been this bad in a few days. Allen, to walk down the beach with our fingers intertwined, the way your fingers fit perfectly between mine.

Allen. My eyes actually started to tear up. No; someone had most definitely spiked my Sprite.

I saw Corey walk back into the door. I had sank down onto a couch when I was supposed to be leaving, she was to nice to leave me. Dang! Corey was beyond mad at me, I could see it in her face. Why was nothing in my life working out right? Once something started to go good, it would usually just fall to crap right in front of my eyes.

I hate Claudia. What does Allen see in her anyway? She took my Allen, how could I not hate her? Leaning back, I let out a frustrated sigh, Corey had spotted me.

“What the heck, Leslie?” Now that I think about it, I don’t really know why I stopped, stupid Allen. When was I ever going to get over him? Three weeks from never probably.

“Leslie,” She must’ve seen the tears bubbling in my eyes because I could hear her hopeless/you’re-so-pathetic/frustrated sigh of my name.

“What.” I looked up at her just as the first tear tumbled down my cheek.

“Les-lie. Come on! If he picked,” she paused, “that over you, then he messed up and isn’t worthy of you anyway.”

Sometimes Corey could make me feel great and on top of the world with her words of wisdom, and now was starting to look like one of those times.

“I know, but I just want him back so, so, so bad. Is that so bad?”

“Yes, but Honey, it’s going to be okay. You will a guy that loves you and doesn’t hurt you.” I just stared back up at her. “Come on, we don’t need to discuss this here.” She then proceeded to drag me out to her car, (with her boyfriend’s help, of course).

After she dropped off her boyfriend, Corey turned off the car. “Leslie, I am seriously worried about you.”

“Why?”

“I know break-ups suck, and I’ve experienced it, too. But you’ve never been this bad. I’ve seen you devastated by a guy and sulk for a while, but it has been a month. You are going to have to get over him. He’s gotten over you and you need to get your act together.”

I didn’t come here to get talked at or insulted. So, after the way Corey just spoke to me, that was enough. She didn’t understand. We’d been together since Sophomore year and he was my everything. He was (sadly) the first gut I’d kissed, the first guy to take me out on a date, my first love. Allen was so much more than just some boy. We’d been together for 2 ½ years, and one day it was over. The next week he was with Claudia. How could I get over that? It’s not like there was some special medicine you could take that would just cure the pain and hurt and make it all better. I couldn’t just wake up one morning and be all better. Corey didn’t get this. The longest she had ever been with a guy is about 3 months. She’s a casual dater. Once things get boring or get tough, toss, and on to the next guy. One day she’s going to find a guy she really likes and he’s going to break-up with her. But Corey wont understand until then.

So, after her statement, I got out of the car and slammed the door. She can get in a wreck for all I care, not really, but still.

“Come on! Get back in the car! Your house is miles away.”

“My house,” I said, “is 2.3 miles away.”
She didn’t ask how I knew that. Good, because I’d just made it up.
“Leslie…” She let the thought trial off as I gestured her to keep going. “Just so you know, I’m following you home!”
I sighed and got back into her Jeep because I knew she would. She continued to be silent the rest of the ways to my house. “That was more than 2.3 miles, btw.” She smiled, so did I. Her face grew serious quickly, “I just wish you would get over him, maybe you should get away this summer, go visit family.” She suggested.
“I don’t know.” There was no way I was about to go and ask a random family member if I could live with them for the summer. I had to do something to get my mind off of him. It really wasn’t that terrible of an idea when you thought about it, though.
“Just consider it, please.” She smiled then left after I’d made it safely inside my house.

***

I woke up the net morning to the sound of my dog barking. I went down-stairs and saw my Mom making breakfast.
“Hey Honey!” She called out cheerfully. I sat down. “Sleep well?”
“Yep.” I replied. I wasn’t a morning person.
She gave me some breakfast and let me eat a little before turning to me and opening her mouth. “Honey, I’m worried about you.”
“Why would that be Mom?”
“Don’t you get an attitude with me Leslie!” She looked stern, then back to caring. “You just, you don’t appear to be very happy or have much energy.”
“Studying for finals is why I’m not energetic or happy. Do you even know how stressful they are?” It was a pretty good excuse too.
“You are still upset about Allen.”
“No, Mom. He has a girlfriend.”
“Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean you still,” She paused. ‘Are obsessed with him?’ I knew that was what was running through her mind. “You still don’t miss him. Breaking-up is terrible.” Good choice of words, Ma.
Cut the crap, I was going for the straight approach. “Where is this going?”
“Well,” She paused again, this was getting to be a trying conversation with her. “Your Aunt Sadie asked,” She quickly corrected herself, “no insisted, that you come and spend the summer with her.”
“Mom! What did you say?”
“Leslie, please, just consider it. Your Aunt loves seeing you and she lives in South Carolina. It will be warm!” She smiled.
“No.” If I went to South Carolina, I couldn’t monitor (stalk) Allen and Claudia. Just kidding, I don’t stalk… usually.
“Leslie,” My Mom looked stern, “I said consider it.”
“Whatever.” Then I walked off. My mom was such downer. Why did she feel the need to bring up Allen? I will get over him, it just takes time.
My Aunt Sadie was pretty cool, though. She doesn’t have any kids because she was single until she was a bout 40 years old and met my uncle, Mike Tanner. Both are older and have that, ‘I’m old and I’m having that teenage dating experience again’ feel to them. They make me think of those couples you see on eHarmony commercials on TV, except real. Bottom line, I love my Aunt Sadie, but I can’t abandon things here. And it’s my last summer before college at Yale. I should be enjoying it how I choose to.
“Corey,” I said a while late after she answered the phone. “My mom is trying to go and make me spend the summer with my Aunt Sadie.”
“You’re going.”
“What?”
“I said,” She was enunciating every syllable. “You are going.”
“No,” I was flabbergasted by what she was saying, although, after last night’s conversation, I guess I shouldn’t have been that surprised. “I’m not.”
“Yes you are. And you should go and re-discuss this with your mom.”
“Wait--”
“I have to go, bye!” Then she hung-up. World’s shortest phone conversation ever. She was acting really strange. I was going to ignore her rude-ness and get on facebook to check out what everybody was doing. Scroll, scroll, nothing at all, all of my friends were boring people. (JK JK! I love you guys!) WAIT! Allen’s post said, Off for the summer! New York here I come! Woo! Allen wasn’t going to be here? And his relationship status said *gasp* single. Allen already left though, his flight was scheduled for two hours ago. Maybe I could re-consider this Aunt Sadie thing, maybe. I mean, lets face it, I was only staying because of Allen, and now that he isn’t going to be here, why should I? This is just some small and boring town in Vermont. There’s nothing exciting here. Aunt Sadie’s might not be so bad.
Aunt Sadie was cool and she might have some hot neighbors. Like the last time I stayed with her, it was great. A hot guy lived a couple of blocks away from her, and we’d been hanging out and I’d completely lost track of time. Needless to say, I got in to late. She didn’t yell or scream or threaten, she just told me she’d been worried and for me to not let it happen again. “It’s summer,” She told me, “You should be able to go out and have fun. You’re a teenager, it only happens once.” I think that made me have a lot more respect for her. She trusted me and she understood. This immediately put her at the top of the relative pyramid. She just doesn’t have that ‘mothering’ instinct. She never had any kids and doesn’t know what it’s like to have them like an actual mother. But, maybe that’s a good thing sometimes.
I don’t know, deciding where I was going to spend my last summer before college was a pretty big decision, I was going to have to sleep on it.





I woke up the next morning from the strangest dream. It was one of those that you think are real, then feel so disappointed when you realize a beat later it isn’t. I went downstairs trying to shake off the funk, with no avail.
“Good morning, Honey!” My mom called out bright and chipper. I still haven’t been able to figure out how she is so cheery this early in the morning. I couldn’t be.
“Hi.” My lifeless response.
“How did you sleep?”
“Fine.” Lie. I had slept terrible. It was dream after dream, and they were all horrible. In fact, they had kept me tossing and turning all night. I finally had gotten up after I awoke from this last one because I simply couldn’t take it anymore.
“Good, good.” She continued to cook for a few more minutes. “So…” She started.
“What?”
“Have you, uh,” She paused, waiting for me to fill it in or something. I don’t think so. She sighed, realizing I was going to be difficult today. “Have you given it any more thought?”
“I don’t know Mom.” I really did feel difficult today. “What exactly do you mean by ‘it’?”
“Leslie.” The stern voice again.
I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, some.”
“So,” She smiled, “What do you think?”
“I’m still heading toward no.”
“Okay, I honestly didn’t think it would come down to this. I thought that you would jump on the chance to spend your summer in a new place with new people and your Aunt.” She sighed and added under her breath, “But you have to choose to be difficult.”
“Yeah,” I stared at her, “I do.”
“Well, you leave me no choice. You either go to your Aunt Sadie’s house or spend summer at that Spanish camp you so utterly detest, take your pick.”
“Spanish Sanctuary?”
“Yes, that camp.”
No! Not the horrid Spanish camp! No! My parents had sent me there during fall break. Spanish was my struggling subject and my mom was talking about putting me in it to help my comprehension level. She had said, before I went the first time (trial version), to help my grades, it didn’t. I detest Spanish that much more now. All day you would lean about Mexico, speak only Spanish, and go through more language classes than you could even begin to imagine. The worst way to ever, ever, spend a summer. It made me forever hate fall break, just think of what it would do to my perception of summer, too. I might as well just go ahead and agree to go to Aunt Sadie’s house, I would’ve anyway. Have a nice summer Vermont, I won’t be around to see it.
“Okay then, I’ll visit Aunt Sadie.”
My mom just smiled and said, “I knew you would come around.”


The author's comments:
This is Chapter one of the story I am writing for my friend for her birthday. There are about 4 Chapters and 20 pages on the computer. Enjoy. :)

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This article has 92 comments.


_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 2:52 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

loved it. I'm not usually in the romance stories but this made me want to read more. and i like the voice of the story, natural with sarcasm.

btw-can you check out some of my stuff?


on Jul. 11 2010 at 6:40 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

I was 7 and could only watch about 1/2 of It. I never have finished the movie and since then, clowns scare me, too. lol

But I think who ever invented clowns thought that they would soothe kids, but really, all they do is scare the crap out of kids. haha lol. :)


on Jul. 10 2010 at 8:13 pm
oh well MY BAD hahaha my friend always talks about It being a clown and clowns being scary. I'm not afraid of clowns, but I don't understand the point of them. Like why did they ever exist in the first place? lol

on Jul. 9 2010 at 9:47 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

All this talk about Stephen King makes me remember my clown nightmares from when I was a kid. Thanks for bringing those up. haha jk lol :)

on Jul. 7 2010 at 9:15 pm
yeah that's what I figure lol

on Jul. 5 2010 at 11:33 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

He has to know what he's doing... he's sold a ton of books. lol.

on Jul. 2 2010 at 11:16 pm
I think we all should lol it's really helping me improve lol. I don't agree with everything he says but he makes a lot of really good points.

on Jul. 2 2010 at 10:31 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

I might have to check it out. I can use all the help I can get. lol :)

on Jul. 1 2010 at 8:50 pm
it was kinda boring, but the advice he gives on writing is fantastic.

on Jul. 1 2010 at 7:03 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

Yeah i probably would. lol. I am a girl. Sloppy Firsts sounds okay. Have fun with your biography, I try to stay away from those. I always seem to pick the most boring ones. lol ;)

on Jun. 30 2010 at 8:05 pm
Yeah a lot of great writers are informal. Sloppy Firsts is one such book and it's about a chick whose best friend moves or something. I haven't gotten that far into it because my summer reading just came in and I'm halfway through Stephen King's autobiography (a must read for aspiring writers) but from what I've read so far, it's pretty funny. I think you would like it more than me though because you'd be able to relate to it more haha

on Jun. 29 2010 at 10:08 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

Thanks! I was thinking about hthe 'informal' part myself. A lot of my favorite writers don't write formally and that is part of the reason I like them so much. This piece wasn't -- isn't -- supposed to be formal. For the other chapters, most of them are broken up. This was the very first piece of writing I submited to teen ink, so I didn't really know what I was doing.

I did censor and put witch in for what i called Claudia because I knew I was submitting it to teen ink.

Thank you soooo much! I really really appriciate it! :)

btw, what is the book sloppy firsts about? Just wondering. :)


on Jun. 29 2010 at 11:16 am

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

First of all, let me COMPLETELY DISAGREE with robsessed, cyanidesun, and all those "you need to write formal" people. (with all due respect) For this story, I think it's necessary to speak informally because... uhhh who's doing the speaking here? A teenage girl. How do teenage girls speak? Informally. Naturally. With the occasional menstrating sarcasm (sorry if that sounds harsh but sometimes other writers make the sarcasm goe overboard.) That's what chick lit is all about: speaking like a chick.

Now sorry if I mislabeled this as "chick lit" but I mean frankly I don't know what else to call it so for now, I'm going to call it chick lit. Is it good? Yeah I think so. I think it's kind of cliche but it's well done. It held my interest pretty well but at the moment i don't have the patience to read all of this stuff because I'm reading Sloppy Firsts which is a chick book and this football player can only handle one chick book at a time before he joins his friends in questioning his sexuality.

With that said, cyanidesun is right about writing out three instead of "3" and minor things like that. But anyone who tells you that you can't start a sentence with "so" needs to first take a stick out of their butt and secondly revisit their grammar studies and third learn to be a creative writer.

Your hardest critics did not consider the fact that people who believe that sentences should not believe with "so" would not ever be reading this kind of book. They are the people who read The Scarlet Letter for a romance novel. (And that book is a criticism of puritan society, not a love story)

So anyway... back from my tangeant. Don't let these people tell you that there are "rules" in creative writing. THERE ARE NO RULES IN CREATIVE WRITING!!!!!

there are rules for writing essays. This is not an essay. This is art. It's a part of you. It's a part of your soul. Rules will make you censor yourself.

Speaking of censoring, I hope you meant to call Claudia something besides a "witch" most girls would call her something else that starts with a W...

Lastly, what i didn't like about this piece, is that it is incredibly long. Long=boring. Long and boring= I'm really not going to read all this stuff. I understand this is a novel, so don't worry about length, but maybe break up the chapters into smaller pieces? And hey, maybe other people don't mind the length because they relate to it and they love it more than i do. But I'll tell you what, I could not put down Laurie Halse Anderson's novel Speak no matter how long it was. She's a really funny writer and that's why I've enjoyed (to some degree) most of her books. If your story had more humor in it, I'd like it that much more, but if that's not your style don't bother. Write for yourself, luv. if anyone doesn't like it that's their problem ;)


on Jun. 29 2010 at 1:15 am
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
23 articles 1 photo 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

good start. I agree that it could use some polish and some editing.  Suggestion: don't write as if you're speaking to the reader in person becuase it makes the story a bit too informal. off to read the rest of the chapters now.

on Jun. 28 2010 at 12:33 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
I really liked ethe premise of this story, but I think the writing needs to be more polished and, as cyanidesun said, professional. If  you can do some edits, it wouold be ten times better, that owuld help your story a lot. Great job, keep writing :)

on Jun. 26 2010 at 11:53 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

Yes, Thank You! I LOVE getting the responses of people saying they like the story, but it's the comments like you post that help me. And those are what i'm going for. So, Thank You! I really appriciate it! :)

on Jun. 26 2010 at 11:37 pm
cyanidesun BRONZE, Atascadero, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block. -Paul Gauguin

Ok... I pray that you'll forgive me for being brutally honest with you. I think you have a huge amount of potential in writing, but with that said, you also have a lot to work on. The first thing you must ALWAYS remember is that your writing must always sound professional, even if you don't necessarily want it to feel professional. For example, it is required that you write out numbers, as in "three" instead of, "3", or the fact that you start many of your sentences with the word "so." It simply felt as if I was reading someone's diary instead of a professional novel--which I assume is what you were aiming for. Not only that, but the characters and dialogue felt very phony. For instance, I know my own mother would never say that I "utterly detest" something. Lastly, you tend to favor parentheses far too much in your writing when you really don't need them. 

I hope you know that I say all this only as constructive feedback. I truly do believe that with some polishing you could be an outstanding writer.

:) 


on Jun. 26 2010 at 10:22 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

If you like these types of books, a good one I found was Dark Secrets by: Elizabeth Chandler. It's got 3 stories in one book. Sooo good! and Thanks!!! :)

on Jun. 26 2010 at 8:05 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 430 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

Great work! This is a good start to a story! :) This is like exactly the type of book I'd read.

on Jun. 26 2010 at 7:55 pm
taylorf463 GOLD, Marion, Kentucky
13 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
If he'll lie for you, he'll lie to you.

An ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories let up to it, it would always had the last word.

Thanks!!! :)