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Fire Heart, Ch. 17 - Ache

I fell to my knees and cried. My sobbing grew louder, and I knew he could hear me. I hoped he would come back, but I knew in my heart he would never come back for me.
After an hour of screaming, pounding, and crying, I knew for sure he wasn’t going to come and save me. He was ignoring my screams and that was for sure.
I couldnt see where he was coming from. I had no idea why he was doing this to me.
I didn’t know what the reasoning for this was. Why was he ruining everything that had become of us together and individually. Why the solution of the so called problem had to be so harsh.
Why I didn’t have a say in this decision that came out of nowhere. He wasn’t making sense anymore. Someone I knew fully well was starting to become a complete and total stranger.
I fully remembered what he had said about leaving. That beautiful morning he was there. When I felt he still loved me. I didn’t have that prolonging feeling anymore.
Everything I loved was gone. My life had stopped following me had just walked away like nothing, like it was never there.
I couldn’t stop wondering why or thinking or just wondering how horrible life would be without my cherished gift sent from heaven above for me.
I knew fully well that Drew was in my life for a full blown reason I didn’t know yet.
I wanted to know, but didn’t feel like questioning nature’s reason. I decided to wonder about what he was thinking, if he cared. Looking at the way he acted, I honestly decided he didn’t.
I really didn’t want to come to that conclusion because I knew it was true. I felt in my heart he just didn’t love me anymore. I wanted my heart to be wrong, but I knew deep down it was right.
Drew wasn’t coming back and I was just going to have to deal with it somehow.
I missed how he talked to me when something was wrong. I missed how he called me ‘Sweetheart’ even when he was furious with me.
I missed how he laid on my bed almost every night and hummed to me while I drifted into sleep.
Those were the best nights of sleep I had had in years.
I missed him so much, but I knew this was only the beginning if a long rest of my life. A long period of missing him. The rest of my life seemed dull and I wanted to go back to where life was.
I missed his everything, I missed his heart. Life was so painful again. But I knew I had to drag on. I just couldn’t like this.



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