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EC-AM=Heartbreak Chapter 9
February 15, 2010
Westchester County Airport
“I need one ticket on the plane that’s about to leave for Michigan!” I practically shouted at the lady who was standing at the front desk.
“Is that one way or round trip?” she asked me, her voice cheery even though I’d just screamed in her face like a crazy person.
“One way,” I replied.
“Two hundred and twenty-two dollars,” she informed me.
I bit my lip and pulled out the credit card that my parents had given me, and told me strictly to use only for emergencies. This was and emergency to me though. The guy I was in love with was about to leave the state!
“Can you charge it to my credit card?” I inquired, handing her the shiny piece of plastic.
She grinned and took it. “I sure can.” I turned away as she charged, not wanting to watch her. I knew that when my parents found out about this I would be dead. “Here you go, m’am.” she said, handing me back the credit card along with a plane ticket. “You’re plane is just finishing up boarding so you’d better hurry up. It’s terminal B6.”
“Ok, thanks.” I said. Then I turned around and began running as fast as I possibly could. My flip-flops slapped against the ground loudly, but I totally ignored it. The only thing I was focused on at the moment was getting to terminal B6 so that I could get on that plane and find Cole.
I reached B4, then B5, and finally B6. I ran up to the flight attendant right when she was about to close the doors. “I need to get on this plane!” I cried, showing her my ticket.
“Ok, ok, calm down.” she replied. She checked my ticket and then let me on. As soon as I stepped into the tunnel-like hallway leading into the plane, I felt a huge rush of relief. I was so close to being too late. But I’d made it.
I reached the doors to the plane and showed the flight attendant my ticket. She grinned politely and let me on, ushering me over to my seat: C17. I sat down in my seat, which was on the end closest to the aisle, right next to a young couple who looked about my age, and were currently making out.
They were both tall, tan, and good-looking, like Abercrombie models or something. Sighing, I turned my head, peering down the aisle. I was searching for Cole’s familiar face, but it was difficult to find him. I had my neck craned out in the aisle for about ten seconds, before a flight attendant came walking down, telling everyone to buckle up.
I obediently followed her directions, and buckled my seatbelt. The couple sitting next to me did the same thing. The guy, who was sitting right next to me, flashed me a small smile. The girl on the other hand glared at me.
I didn’t care though. I wasn’t here so that I could make friends with the couple sitting next to me. I was here to find Cole. I decided that once the plane had already taken off, and was up in the air, I’d pretend like I had to go to the bathroom so that I could walk down the aisle and search for him.
I already knew that he wasn’t in any of the rows in front of me, because when the flight attendant led me back to my seat, I was frantically looking from face to face, trying to find him. But I hadn’t seen him.
The pilot’s voice came on over the speakers, announcing that it was time for take-off. So I clutched the armrests, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. Planes were not my thing. I didn’t like them one bit. Especially the take-off and the landing. I got so scared every single time the pilot announced that it was time for either of those things.
The guy next to me must have noticed, because he glanced over at me and asked: “Hey, you ok?”
I peeled my eyes open and looked at him, my entire body tense. “Um, yeah.” I said. “I just don’t like planes very much.”
“No need to worry. I fly a lot, and not once did something bad happen. It’s totally safe.” he replied. The girl was clearly irritated with his friendliness towards me. Her furious scowl said it all.
“Well, there’s a first for everything.” I responded. “Including plane crashes.”
He grinned, as if he were amused by my fear of planes. I closed my eyes again as the plane began to rise. My breathing was choppy and apprehensive, and my muscles were all tight. I felt a strong, warm hand come down over me.
Confused, I opened my eyes and glanced down at the hand that was now placed on top of mine. It belonged to they boy sitting next to me. I looked up at him, puzzled. It was kind of strange that a random stranger I’d just met was holding my hand. But it was also kind of sweet of him.
He just grinned at me and squeezed my hand a bit tighter. I shut my eyes again, feeling comfort from the warmth of the guy’s hand. The plane was still in the process of taking off, and my stomach was still churning uneasily. I felt my ears pop, and I bit down on my tongue.
Finally, things began to get smoother, and the pilot’s voice came back on over the speakers. “Alright, we’ve completed the take-off. We’ll arrive in Detroit in about three and a half hours.”
The guy next to me released my hand and my body grew less tense. “See, that wasn’t so bad, right?” he said.
“Uh huh,” I murmured, still feeling a little perturbed.
“I’m Shaun by the way.” he added. “And this is my girlfriend, Megan. We actually came to New York as a Valentine’s Day getaway. I guess you could call it that anyways. How about you?”
“My name’s Evalynne.” I replied. “And I came here because I’m looking for someone.”
“You’re looking for someone?” he queried.
“Yeah. He’s sort of my ex-boyfriend.”
“How is someone sort of your ex-boyfriend?” Wow, Shaun liked to ask questions.
“Well we were dating, but we were never really officially together. Anyways, I want to get back together with him, but he’s going back home to Michigan. So I just followed him.” I explained.
“Well, that’s romantic.” he said, smiling. “He’s lucky to have someone who cares about him so much.”
The girl’s face grew even angrier, something I didn’t think was possible until witnessing it. “Yeah, the only problem is that he has a new girlfriend now.” I added.
“That sucks,” he replied.
“Yeah, I just wish I’d chosen Cole in the first place.” I said, mostly to myself.
“Did you say Cole?” he asked me.
“That’s weird. I know a Cole. He’s actually my dorm-mate at the college I go to. Megan, you know Cole, right?” he asked his girlfriend.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice flat.
“You don’t happen to go to the University of Michigan, do you?” I asked him.
His eyes lit up, “Actually, I do.”
Now this was getting weird. “Is your dorm-mate Cole Wilson?” I inquired.
“Oh my gosh, it is! This is so weird!” he cried. “What a coincidence!”
“Definitely,” I replied, nodding.
“You know, Cole’s girlfriend is one of my best friends.” Megan said, speaking to me for the first time. Things were about to get really awkward. I could sense it.
“Wow, this really is a coincidence.” I replied, not knowing what else to say. She nodded, deadpanning me.
“Hey, Cole, why didn’t you tell me you were coming to New York? We could’ve flown together.” Shaun was saying into his cell phone. Without pausing to let Cole say anything, he continued speaking. “Anyways, you’ll never guess who’s sitting next to me on the plane right now. In fact, come one over here, there’s a seat left next to Megan. I’m in seat C16…Ok, see you soon. Bye,” He hung up and tucked his phone away into the pocket of his jeans.
Suddenly, I felt extremely nervous. “Cole’s coming over here right now?” I asked Shaun.
He nodded, grinning at me. “Yep,”
“Wonderful,” I uttered, feeling my heart skip a beat. And before I knew it, Cole was approaching us.
“Evalynne?” he cried, clearly stunned…and confused.
“Surprise,” I said lamely. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. My mind had gone totally blank.
Cole inched past us and sat down in the empty seat next to Megan. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.
“I couldn’t just let you leave.” I choked out. “I need to tell you something.”
“You had to tell me something earlier today too, but you already did.” he said.
“No, that wasn’t it. I was going to tell you earlier today, but I panicked.”
“So you couldn’t have just called me? Seriously, Evalynne! Are you crazy? What are you going to do? Tell me what you have to say and then fly back to New York? What were you thinking?” he cried.
I looked away from him sheepishly. I realized how totally and completely stupid and over-dramatic I seemed at that moment. Megan scoffed, smirking at me.
“You don’t get it. I couldn’t have just called you. It’s too important to tell you over the phone.” I explained.
“Well, we’re both here now, so you can go ahead and say it.” he told me. The frustration in his voice made it seem like he was mad at me for coming here to talk to him. And it made me feel awful. I’d just paid two hundred and twenty-two dollars for a freakin’ plane ticket to Michigan just so I could see him, and now he was mad at me?
“Can we go somewhere a little more…private?” I asked him, glancing over at Megan and Shaun.
He sighed in irritation. “Fine, there’s no one sitting in the seat next to me. Come on,” So I stood up and followed him back to his seat, taking my purse (the only thing I’d brought) with me.
We reached the two empty seats at the very back of the plane, and sat down in them. “Ok, you can tell me now.” he said to me.
I took a deep breath, and looked up into his deep brown eyes. “Cole, I’m still in love with you.”
He stared at me, his face totally and completely blank. He was silent for about five seconds, but it felt more like five hours to me. “What?” he demanded finally. “But you told me that you were ok with me having a girlfriend. You said it was great.”
“I lied.” I admitted to him. “I didn’t want to hurt you, so I just acted like I was ok with it. But I can’t live knowing that I let you go that easily. Not when I love you. And believe me, I do. In fact, I should’ve picked you over Ash. I realize that now. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t. I would give anything to go back in time and change what happened.”
He shook his head, his eyes filling with rage. “First you love Ash, then you love me, then you love Ash again, then me, then you marry Ash, then he dies, and now you love me again? Make up your freakin’ mind, Evalynne! I used to always tell you that Ash was just playing with your emotions, but now I realize that I was mistaken. You’re the one who was messing with our emotions. And I’m really sick of it! I thought all of that was over! I thought we could just be friends, and that’s it. But no, now you decide youlove me again!”
I sat there, staring at him. My mouth was open, but no words were coming out. I was completely speechless. Cole had just completely and totally told me off. But apparently, he wasn’t done yet, because before I got a chance to say anything, he continued yelling.
“Seriously though! This isn’t a game, Evalynne. This is life! You can’t keep changing your mind like this. I don’t know if you realize this or not, but you’re not the only one who’s been hurt throughout all of this. You’ve completely torn me apart. And I’m sure you hurt Ash just as much. But all you ever seem to notice is how you feel. You don’t care that every time you decided that you loved Ash more than me, I was hurting inside. It seems like you don’t even care that Ash is dead anymore! You probably don’t even love me! You probably just feel lonely, so you want to use me until you find someone else. Well I’m not going to let you. You might have had control over me last summer, but not anymore, Evalynne. I’m done.”
I sat there, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I had no idea you felt that way.” I told him, my voice cracking. “I really do love you though. You might not want me anymore, and I don’t blame you. But I do love you. I loved Ash too. That’s why it was so difficult for me to choose between the two of you. And that’s why it was so hard for me whenever either of you hurt me. Because I loved you both so much.”
He bit his lip, his eyes softening a bit. “I’m sorry too.” he said after a moment of silence. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I’m just kind of frustrated.”
I nodded, “You shouldn’t be apologizing. You had every right to say that to me.” I assured him.
“No, I didn’t. I had absolutely no right to try and tell you that you don’t care about Ash and I. I know you did, and I know that you still do. And I still care about you too. I just don’t think that things are going to work out between us.” he said.
I nodded once again, “I understand.”
He smiled weakly, “I know this probably isn’t the right time to suggest this….but maybe you can come meet my girlfriend, and then you, her, Shaun, Megan, and I can go do something. Unless you’d feel uncomfortable with that.”
Of course I’d feel uncomfortable with that! I’d just poured out all of my feelings to him. I’d just told him that I was in love with him. And now he was offering for me to go and hang out with him and his girlfriend? He had to be crazy! But I didn’t have the nerve to tell him any of this. I didn’t want to hurt him any more than I already had.
“No, that would be fun. I’d love to meet her.” I lied.
He grinned, clearly happy about this. “Awesome,”
Once again, he got that little sparkle in his eyes. Once again, I was reminded of how much he loved this new girlfriend of his. And once again, I was left feeling heartbroken.