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EC+AM=4ever Chapter 43
July 26, 2009
Yesterday was misery. I’d spent the entire day without Ash. And I know that today won’t be any better. I just wish that he could come back. I hate being away from him. I feel like when he left, he took a part of me with him.
But I just have to keep reminding myself that I’ll be able to see him again. This isn’t goodbye forever. Just for now. I’ll be with him again soon. Ok, so maybe it won’t be soon, but it will happen eventually.
However, he did text me yesterday night around 7:00. In his text, he said: I’ve been gone for a day and I already can’t stand to be away from you. I’ll text you every night and I’ll be thinking of you.
That just made me miss him even more. And I’ve decided to keep all of the texts I receive from him documented here in my diary.
I closed my diary when I heard my phone buzz. I picked it up. Ash had texted me again. I feel so alone without you. The day that I get to hold you in my arms again seems so far away, but I know that it’s coming.
I took a deep breath, reading this over multiple times before finally texting him back. I feel the exact same way. I really miss you.
Miss you too. Text you tomorrow.
I flipped my cell phone shut and tossed it beside me, onto my bed.
Five days later, I read all of my documentations of when Ash and I had texted each other, savoring each and every one, reading them over and over again…
July 23, 2009, 7:00 p.m.
Ash: I’ve been gone for a day and I already can’t stand to be away from you. I’ll text you every night and I’ll be thinking of you.
Me: I’ll be thinking of you too. I love you.
Ash: Love you too.
July 24, 2009, 4:05 p.m.
Ash: The day that I get to hold you in my arms again seems so far away, but I know that it’s coming.
Me: I feel the exact same way. I really miss you.
Ash: Miss you too. Text you tomorrow.
July 25, 2009, 9:23 p.m.
Ash: It’s so hard to live without you here next to me. I don’t know if I can do it. This is impossible.
Me: Impossible love is always the most romantic.
Ash: Yeah, but it’s also the most difficult.
Me: And it’s also the most real.
July 26, 2009, 6:47 p.m.
Ash: I can’t stop thinking of you. It’s killing me.
Me: Same here. In fact, I dreamed about you last night.
Ash: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah. The hardest part was waking up.
July 27, 2009, 8:02 p.m.
Ash: I want to see you so badly right now. It would be so much easier for me to be here if I hadn’t had to leave you behind.
Me: I want to see you too. I also want to kiss you, but I can’t. I want to hold you close to me, but I can’t. I at least want to hold your hand, but I can’t do that either because you’re so far away.
Ash: Me too. So I’m giving you the one thing that I can. My heart.
July 28, 2009, 7:54 p.m.
Ash: Each day without you seems longer than the last.
Me: I know. It’s so strange how long it takes for time to pass when you’re missing the one you love.
Ash: I know. But it’s better to miss each other, knowing that it won’t last forever than to miss each other, knowing we’ll never get to see each other again.
Me: I agree. And I’ll keep waiting and waiting until the day comes when I get to see you again. Even if it feels like forever.
July 29, 2009, 8:25 p.m.
Ash: I wish you were here to meet someone. He’s really funny. You’d like him a lot.
Me: Who is he?
Ash: His name’s Bret, he’s one of the guys that’s here with me.
Me: Well I’m glad you have someone to occupy your thoughts.
Ash: Yep, I do. And that person’s still you.