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How To Get A Life
The sunset out the window and the boy driving the car; I’m not too sure which one was more beautiful. I don’t know which one I stared at for longer. I also don’t know how the three of us got to be in that car all at the same time. All I know is even if the sun is bright and full of flames, it cant burn you as bad as that beautiful boy can.
We we’re going to the movies that night, but it’s not what you’re thinking. We’re just friends. That’s what I tell everyone anyways, but it’s not the truth. We aren’t friends. If you dont talk to each other at school and you only text, what kind of a friendship is that? Maybe you just call it a friendship to make yourself feel better, but when you put a name to something that doesn’t exist does it make it any more real? No. It just adds to the fantasies you dream up in your head every night. The dreams you create before you fall asleep to make up for the nightmare that you live through every day.
Is everything in life really this hard, or am I making it harder than it has to be?
“Sorry for making your night more boring than usual”, I said, sitting in the parking lot of the movie theater.
“You didn’t make it boring at all. I had a lot more fun than I would have sitting at home by myself. Plus, being with you is always amazing.” He said it like he meant it and I believed him, but what I said was:
“You dont have to lie to me Eric. I’m a big girl. I can handle the truth. I know I’m not the most exciting person in the world.” Boy, was that an understatement. “You didnt have to agree to this, you know. I dont even know why I asked. It feels like I’m such a waste of your time”, I said. There was no need to hold anything back. I would end up texting it to him later anyways.
“Leanne... I agreed to this because I wanted to go. Not because I felt obligated or felt bad for you. Look at me”, he tilted my head towards him. I put it back down. You know what they say about staring at the sun...
“Listen. I really like you. The movie was great and being with you made it even better. Don’t think for a second that this is a pity date. Don’t let it even cross your mind. If you hadn’t asked me to go then I would have asked you eventually... It’s just...”, he looked around for a moment, “you make me so nervous. I don’t know how to handle myself around you.”
Did he really just say that? This isn’t really happening...
“I dont understand”, I said. “I thought you said we were just friends.”
“We’ll the way I feel about you right now is making me rethink that.” He put his hands on the steering wheel and turned the wheel back and forth with his palms. Then he took his hands off and wiped them on his jeans.
“Leanne...”, he said, turning around to face me. He reached over and put his hand on my knee, his other hand on my cheek. Moving closer to me, my breath caught in my throat. Eric kissed me then. He held my head and my leg and if he’d had a third hand it would have been holding my heart.
That’s how it was supposed to be, anyways.
In a perfect world we would have stayed in that car for hours, just talking and listening to music. The two of us could drive around and be happy in our little bubble and everything would be good. Unfortunately, life isn’t perfect.