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You were always so beautiful
My name is Amy Rogan. Average weight, average height, but I don’t have average health. I was 16 when I went to the doctor and was told I have cancer. Crying all the way home in the car, my mom repeated while crying, “Its going to be ok, you’re going to be healthy again,” I knew this was what I should believe, but I couldn’t let go of the feeling deep inside that this was my end.
It’s weird how everything can be normal and people can go on with the world, while I am struck with fear and sadness. I see my boyfriend Wes walking towards me with a smile on his face, I still didn’t tell him. “Hey,” I said softly.
“Hey to you baby, what’s up?” he replied as he pressed his lips to mine.
“Nothing just the same old, and you?” I suppressed as happily as possible.
“Just can’t stop thinking about you. Want to have a picnic tonight? My treat?” he whispered into my ear.
“Sure why not? Pick me up at, say sixish?” I agreed.
“Six it is! See you then,” he confirmed and gave me a goodbye hug, then left. Tonight I’ll tell him for sure. No back outs. He will still love me, right? Of course he will. He isn’t the cowardly kind to leave me when I need him most.
I slipped on my white flip flops and gave myself a look over in the mirror in my room. Pink sundress and my bracelet Wes bought me. Perfect! I sealed the look with my romantic perfume and my lip gloss. Then I hear the door bell and trot downstairs.
I open the door to see Wes looking so hot and handsome. I want to kiss him until the day becomes dawn. I’ll save that feeling for the picnic. “Hey, you look nice,” I flirted.
“Oh Amy, you have always been so beautiful,” he cooed, “now lets go and hurry so we can watch the sweet September sunset.”
I shut the door and hopped in his Chevy. When I was fastening my seatbelt I looked up to see him looking at me. “Yes?” I ask as I bat my eyelashes. He leans over and kisses me with such passion and intensity, that I feel I could stay in this moment forever, where everything is perfect. He pulled away and started the car down the road.
When we reach our secret picnic place, out of the basket, he pops out that fizzy apple cider that I drank on New Year’s as a kid. He pours it into each of our cups. We look at each other and do a corny “cheers!” and sit back and laugh, while drinking. I look at him and decide I should just get it over with and say I have cancer.
“Wes, do you love me?” I ask vulnerably.
“Amy I have loved you since we were 11, and do you love me?”
“Yes, and I have to tell you something,” I held back the tears, “I, I have, c-cancer,” and that word was all it took for me to start bawling. As soon as he sees my tears, he wraps me in his arms and I can tell he is frozen with fear. He doesn’t speak until I have calmed down.
“Amy, its alright, you are strong, we can get through this,” he starts sobbing, “I love you, please don’t forget that. Don’t shut me out no matter how bad this gets! Understand? Its alright, its alright, I love you. I love you…”
Six months later
I’m in a hospital bed, I have no hair, no happiness, no hope, everything that makes me Amy is gone. Only one person has stood beside me this whole time, and that’s Wes. The love of my life. All of the sudden when I am thinking back to Wes and me, and the memories, my heart monitor starts up real fast. I stare at it wearily, Wes comes and grabs my hand. The doctors rush in.
“We are losing her!” my nurse yells.
“Amy, my daughter,” my mom cried with my dad.
“ Its ok Amy, your ok, just keep looking at me, talk to me,” Wes stuttered.
“No Wes, its m-my time, I-I love you and always will. Keep my he-heart,” I touched my dying heart, and then touched his, “with yours, I love you.”
“Stop Amy! Don’t you, don’t you say that! Yes I’ll keep your heart, but keep mine too! Please don’t leave me, I love you,” he whispered passionately. Then it felt as if my heart gave its last flutter from his words.
“She is gone, I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Rogan, Wes I’m sorry too, I know you loved her,” the nurse hesitated.
“Oh Amy, you were always so beautiful,” Wes cried and kissed Amy’s head one last time.