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Trapped inside my mind I dream…
I stood in the center of a dark living room. I glance around and see a dim light in the corner giving it a dark and depressing tone. I notice a familiar shadowed figure lying on the couch. I look more closely; it’s the Dark Prince.
I suddenly had the urge to run like; I’ve always done when it came to him. Despite his dark appearance, which made him seem dead, knowing how we once felt about each other made me remember how alive he is on the inside. He truly knew how to love someone and I foolishly didn’t treat him right. The day I ran away from him left me feeling empty and heavy hearted, but momentarily it felt light once again.
“Dark Prince”, I quietly call out into the shadows.
“Dark Prince”, I ask again a bit louder, but he persists to let the silence speak for him.
For so long I’ve placed my deepest felt memories and feelings into a freezer to preserve them, but all that’s done is made me a cold-hearted person. I’ve been frozen ever since I left him, but staring at him makes me feel like we never parted. Feeling as if I was no way frozen in time, but only living in the past of which I loved and missed so much.
I looked at his face, which seemed very dark, but his eyes felt so soft.
“I never… wanted to hurt you”, I whisper, but he just turned over to his other side and wrapped a blanket around him as if he no longer cared. My heart got heavier.
Distance was not what I wanted. I thought I was making the right choice, but I made the biggest mistake. I let go when I should have held him tight. I let a grief end our relationship, which only caused me more grief. I hurt him because I was hurt.
I slowly fall to my knees hopelessly. Shaking my head as tears fall I scream,
“How naïve! Look what you’ve done…is this the way you treat someone you loved the most? Ignored him when all he tried to do was be there for you? Cared and loved you like a childhood love?”
Regret was fully felt within. I’ve treated so many people badly only to end up hurting self. So many lies were naively said and all along I’ve been lying to self.
He always told me, “Don’t let self control you, control self.” I should have listened to him! I desperately crawl to him slowly I cry, “Please… Please… Forgive me”
“You’ve probably moved on by now… I must be too late?”
I stop crawling and my hands become weak and I collapse to the floor on my face.
“Why did I push you away when I needed you most?” I scream!
My heart suddenly begins to bleed and a pool of blood soon surrounds my body. I slowly turn over on my side gasping for air and say,
“I …love …you... I always… have… and always… Will”
I bring my knees closer to my chest and soak in my own blood. Even though he’s present in the room I miss him. I miss him being there for me like he used to be. Most of all I miss loving him…. and him loving me. I close my eyes and replay his voice…
“You’re the only one for me. I love you always.”
As memories of him continue to play I move my hands over my bleeding chest. Tears remained to ease down my cheeks. All of a sudden I feel as if someone’s presence is near, but I continue to keep my eyes shut and let my memories take me elsewhere…