His hand kept nudging into mine as we walked close down the hall. I was so tempted to just grab it and feel the warmth of his soft tender skin…
His hand bumped into mine again. And his finger tips touched my knuckles. If this was any other guy I would taken the hint that he wanted to hold my hand. But this is Jasen. Totally different story. I crossed my arms and tried to focus on the topic he was talking about instead of his open hand swinging right by my thigh…
Stop it Ava.
I shook my head and sighed. Jasen, Jasen, Jasen. I tried to get the fact that I’m walking with my best friend down the hall. Nothing unordinary here. Besides his hand that I swore just caressed my leg…
Maybe he’s changed…
No.
I shook my head and cleared my throat. Focus. I looked up at him and heard him say something about his new fixer upper. I nodded trying to look like I was listening. But I bet I wasn’t fooling anyone. It was obvious I was staring at Jasen’s perfectly plump lips…
This is wrong.
I followed him into English and sat in my seat and row behind his. I took out my pen and chewed on the end of it while I pretended to study the warm up on the board. It just happened that right in front of me Jasen’s silky russet hair fell perfectly in his intense blue eyes…
Get a hold of yourself Ava.
I got up to sharpen my pencil. Or maybe it was just an excuse to stop gawking at Jasen. When I walked back to my seat and past Jasen’s I noticed his 100 point essay project on global warming lying on his desk. I slid his neatly typed work onto my desk and with my pen, changed the little “e” to a round “o” before putting it back in its place.
The truth is I like Jasen better than Jason. But I change it because I’m obsessed. And I’ll never stop because I love the way he looks at me when he sees what I’ve done. He’ll turn around in his seat and look at me with his sharp blue eyes and a smile hidden in the corners of his mouth as he says “I hate you.”…
This is getting out of control. This is Jasen. He’ll never like you like that Ava.
But I wish he would…
Jasen and I walked down the hall again once class was over. Again he picked back up on the subject of that car and how great it’s going to be once he’s fixed it. I sigh and forced a smile, knowing that this just happens to be Jasen.
And Jasen just happens to be gay.