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What He's Really Thinking


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Oh…oh dang…I had to run into him today of all days…
Today? Really? When I just woke up and threw on yesterday’s wrinkled Levi’s…
I didn’t even bother to wash my hair…
Ah! Did I forget deodorant?
No, no, false alarm. I put some on before my mad dash to class…
He’s coming this way!
Did he just wave at me?
Surely someone behind me…like Becky with the little cheer shorts and tan legs…
No…oh crap, he is waving at me!
Oh, I wish my face would clear up…
I bet he is staring at how much I broke out on my cheek…
I wish I took more time to straighten my hair today…
My breath! Oh shoot, I knew I should have bought that pack of gum...
Is there anything in my nose?
He kills me…

“So, the math test is postponed because Mrs. Smith has a doctor’s appointment” he says.

Maybe I should have gone a little easy on the makeup today…
Does he like that natural look?
Listen to him talk! Just keep talking forever, about anything! Anything at all! …
What would it be like to kiss him in the rain?
Kiss me…
Kiss me so hard that it knocks my lips right smack off my face…
Kiss me until I can’t breathe and have to rely on your air…
Kiss me until the world crashes down all around us…

“Do you have the notes from yesterday?” he asks.

Look at him standing there…
He keeps his cool so well and I’m just a nervous, stupid, ugly girl…
I bet he never thinks about me…
Wonder if he is thinking about how ugly I am?
Wonder if he is asking himself what man in his right mind would date me?
Oh, he asked a question; I should answer that…

“Um…yeah, yeah, here ya go, but I have bad handwriting…and section…um, section 3 is not, um, well it’s not all there,” I stuttered. “Here.” I kept drowning on and on about my notes.

I wonder what is going on in his mind right now.

She is so pretty…
But she is the kind of pretty that doesn’t even know she’s pretty…
She doesn’t even know how beautiful she is, does she?
Does she?
I wish I hadn’t given Tim my last piece of gum…
Ah! I bet my breath is terrible…
I bet she thinks I’m ugly…
I wish my ears weren’t so big…
Do they have surgery for that?

“Make sure you highlight Chapter 6; it’s really important,” I say. What IS he thinking?

Maybe she would date me then…
What if I just asked her out right now?
Nah, she’d just run and tell all her friends…
They would laugh and point and I would be the biggest running joke of the whole freakin’ school
Dang, I wanna kiss that girl…
Oh, my eye keeps twitching! Why won’t it stop?
She’s talking with those lips…
I have to hold myself back from this one…
Why does she kill me like she does?
What is it about this one?
Forget about it, this chick is too good for you…

“Calculus sucks, doesn’t it?” I ask. Look at his face, all twisted and pained. Just shut up before you bore him to death. His eye is even twitching…huh; he must really hate talking to me!

He is just standing there, probably wishing I would shut up and move before anyone thinks he is talking to me. I bet he is thinking about the cheer squad and how much prettier they are than me. Heck if I care. Who am I kidding, of course I care!

If I could just read his thoughts… nah, I don’t think I would want to hear how bad he thinks of me.

She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life…
Oh, she asked something…
Just smile and nod…
Wish I was paying more attention, but how can I when she looks like she does?
She’s edging away from me, clearly trying to escape this terrible conversation…
I guess I should start edging away, too…
I’ll pretend like I have somewhere important to go or someone important to see...
I bet she has dates lined up all weekend…

“Anyways, good luck on your exam and I’ll, uh, I’ll see ya ‘round, k?” I say.

He is trying to get away from me, probably running off somewhere to see his gorgeous girlfriend…
Wish I could run away with him…
I’ll just keep moving away from him so it looks like I have somewhere to go…
Huh, right, like I would have anywhere to go…
I just go straight to my stupid couch in my stupid living room and sit alone…
It’s Friday, I bet he is on his way to a party…”

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to return your notes Monday morning,” he says, so calmly.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal really. Glad to do it,” I say, while keeping my eyes glued to my feet.

“Well, bye,” he says, waving with his textbook and walking backwards.

Wow. He just cannot wait to get away from me…

“I’ll, um, I’ll see you around…in the hall and in class, cafeteria and stuff like that…” I say. Oh, real smooth there.

Ha, she is gorgeous, but too bad she just isn’t in to me…
Cheers to another boring Friday night by myself…
Forget about this girl…
She is totally out of my league…

Here’s to another Friday night on my couch…
No chance with that boy…
Totally out of my league…




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This article has 7 comments. Post your own!

KonyaB!!! This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 7:42 pm:
Guys really think like that? If they do, a lot of things make sense. Like the situation above. Wow...then really, we aren't that different as girls and boys when it comes to this love stuff, you know? Except the hair and makeup....:)  Good story. ;D
 
Alex B. replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 3:46 am :
lol well I can't speak for guys, but I'd say they are pretty similar to girls from what they have said to me! I know a few who have told me how insecure they are around girls. What's funny is that, if you're like me, you are picking yourself apart, but you never consider that, hey, the guy just may be doing that, too. :) Thank you!
 
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Inkspired said...
May 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm:
i wish. but really great poem, i love it! 
 
Inkspired replied...
May 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm :
story, sorry :)
 
Alex B. replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 3:44 am :
hey you never know!! thank you!!
 
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Kat2292 said...
May 4, 2010 at 3:56 pm:
So is this really what happens most of the time? Great job capturing the feelings both characters are feeling :) If you really wanted to you could have added a few more descriptions of the other person's features when one is thinking. It was really good though! Could you take a peek at my work and comment on what you think? Thanks! :)
 
Alex B. replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 3:44 am :
Yeah, I sure can! Hey, thanks! That is very nice of you!
 
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