Him...

My heart melts in two when I see him, one half falling head-over-heels for his smile and the other half regretting my love. I am just sooo confused. I know he is a jerk, it's just... Not when I'm around him, he's so sweet around me. I mean, I just can't decide, if I should even try to move on or keep hope. I'm on a road of indecision. A road that is rocky and depressing yet sweet surprises along the way. It's hard, I have tried to stop thinking about him and that doesn't help or WORK. I still think about him everyday, and I always think about when we danced. When we danced, my heart skipped a million beats, my eyelashes fluttered, my hair flew, and we laughed and smiled. It was the best night of my life, except I know he doesn't like me as a girlfriend, but I don't care. I will wait for him. I am listening to this saying, "Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about." So, so far, I have decided that I am still trying to catch his eye. Our friendship was a huge rope. As the years passed by, I knew that our relationship became thinner and thinner. Before I knew what was happening the rope I had always counted on, became a thin yarn. I have tried making this yarn into a rope again, but it never works. I have tried and tried, but he never looks at me the same way anymore. He used to look me in the eyes, and his eyes would linger there. They were glued to me as if I was the only person in the world. Now, he looks for a second and then just smiles. He liked me but now it is too late. HE has moved on, and so should I. I can't. I am stuck in quicksand. He left me by myself. I was standing frozen by his eyes. He smiled, and then walked away. Now, I am sinking slowly in quicksand. He will not pull me out now. He has passed. Now, I will too. Eventually....