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True Love

My name is Melanie Quain. Yeah, I know weird, right? Who came up with that name anyway? I’m normal; I’m average, today anyway.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t always like this. I had to struggle to keep me going. I fought whatever misfortune happened to my family, and they just kept coming. I’m not really sure what would’ve happened if I never met him, but I know it wouldn’t have been good.
He kept hitting me. He wouldn’t stop. I yelled. I pleaded. I begged for forgiveness for something I didn’t know I’d done.
“Please, Dad stop! What did I do?! I’m sorry! Sorry!” I couldn’t break him. He wouldn’t let up on me.
“Sorry isn’t good enough!” he grunted. He hit me harder. His eyes were red and the veins on his neck were bulging from exhaustion. He had me pinned. What could I do? Where was mom? I needed my mommy. I looked to the side to avoid getting punched in the face and I saw Mom, standing there, in the hallway, watching my ordeal. She was sobbing, and stood fearfully, half-hiding behind the wall, apparently not knowing what to do.

“Mom, help me! Make him stop!” I yelled. Dad stopped suddenly. He looked up at mom and slowly got up. He looked nervous and suddenly weak from the exercise of pounding me practically to a pulp. I must’ve really made him mad. Fists covered in blood, he stood up shakily, pretended to swat dirt off his knees, and proceeded to the bathroom to wash up.

I had a few spots were I was banged up pretty bad, it’s not like I had any broken ribs or anything, but his knuckles pierced the skin around my abdomen. I looked around to see where he went and where mom was, and she was still there, watching.

“Mom? Can you help me please? I hurt.” I whimpered.

“Of course, dear.” She spoke softly, as if not to disturb dad who was now heading toward the bedroom.

So yeah. That was my life, from about 5 years old, until I turned 16. That’s when I met Duncan.
Duncan changed my life. Oh, he was everything to me. He was smart, funny, a great athlete, and hot! I felt awful in high school, I would walk in with a broken nose, bandages, and many other unappealing bumps and bruises. And what’s worse is that I had to lie about it all. Everyone thought of me as a klutz. My dad was beating me up, bad, at least once a week, and I told people that I fell down the stairs again, or got in another car accident. I missed so much school because of him, it’s a wonder I ever met Duncan in the first place. Duncan was there when I needed him.
I met him in the dumbest way. I was rushing to get to my physics class with the million books and papers I need for it, and I wasn’t looking where I was going because I had a black eye from the night before. I was running down the hallway, when this kid opened his locker and I slammed right into it. It’s almost too embarrassing to say. Anyway, there I am sprawled on the floor and all my friends are laughing at me, no one is getting a teacher to help, everyone is making fun of me. Except Duncan.
“Oh my God. Are you okay? Hello? Can you hear me?”
“Oh…” I moaned. I was so frustrated and embarrassed; I pretended to fall in and out of consciousness. But then I looked at the person who was holding my neck and head so gently. I had never been handled so carefully. Duncan was holding my head up tenderly, as if he really cared.


Do you believe in love at first sight? I think that’s what I experienced that day. Love at first sight. Nobody had ever held me that gingerly, that lightly. His fingers were soft to the touch and warm. He picked me up and held me until I regained my balance. I wanted to stay wrapped up in his big, strong arms forever, where I could be safe and protected from all of the bad stuff happening to me. From the laughing peers, my father’s beatings, my mother’s ignorance.

Then I came back to frikin’ reality.

“Holy s***! What happened to you’re eye?” he questioned.

“Oh. Uhh… Must’ve hit it when I ran into the locker.” I said quietly. I ducked my head and started toward my books. The kids were clearing out ‘cause the bell rang. I knew I was late but all I wanted to do was get away from Duncan so I can stop embarrassing myself. He stayed and asked “You need help with that?”
He came down and started to organize and pick up pencils and notes. It was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.
“Oh no, it’s okay. I’ll get it.” I said.

“No no, I’ll help you”

“Seriously, it’s okay.”

“I want to help you. I’m sorry I yelled that thing about your eye. I didn’t want to make things worse” he said.

I sighed. That wasn’t the best way to say it, but I’ll give him credit for trying.

“Thank you.”

It’s pretty funny, actually. Now I realize that that little conversation started a lifelong friendship between me and Duncan. After that we started talking a little more often and quickly became friends. I always had a huge crush on him, but I was content with how far he wanted our relationship to go. We hung out a lot, I would always go to his practices and games, and he would always go to my open-mike poetry parties at the local coffee shop (even though I could tell he was bored to death). Duncan was a great friend to me. So supportive.
I never told my parents about Duncan because I knew dad would kill him. Dad is violent and controlling. I’ve met other guys before and introduced them to my parents, but dad would always give them a death threat and they would all of the sudden disappear. No IM, no texting, no talking. I would see them at school but they would ignore me. I asked mom a couple times why dad won’t let me date anyone and she always came up with something stupid and pitiful.

“You’re his only daughter, he wants to protect you.” Bull.

“Sweetie, he wants to make sure nobody treats you badly. He loves you.” Yeah that’s believable. No way am I ever going to buy that crap. So I never told them about Duncan, he was a keeper and I didn’t want dad scaring him off. I guess you could say I was living a double life. It may sound fun, but when you’re in the same situation as me, it’s more dangerous than anything. With the looming consequences of dad finding out, I was scared to death. Me and Duncan hung out a lot, but we still weren’t really going out. I remember the day we started to take our relationship further like it was yesterday.
“Hey Melanie!” he shouted across the court.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“What did you think?”

“You did a good job. I’m proud of you.”

This was after the championship game. He was on the school team and we won. Whoo! Go Tigers! He was worn out. He got weaker as he was talking to me. It was pretty funny actually.

“Whew. Got to go…Coach.” he panted.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Okay.”

Aww, he was so sweet. Right before he left, he said “Uhh… can you meet me at Skinny’s later?”

“Okay, sure. Why?”

“I want to talk somewhere were people wont listen in.” he said.

Skinny’s was the ice cream parlor in the middle of town. I met him there at 5:00 and we started talking, about my family.

“Melanie, I’m worried that things aren’t right at you’re house.” He started. Of course. I knew he would suspect. I spend all day with him, everyday, except when I am at home. I’ve no excuse for being injured. He must have come to the obvious conclusion, and I can’t say anything. He is so smart.

I sigh.

“Well… you see…it’s complicated” I sputtered.

“Okay, okay. You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong; just tell me if something is wrong.” Crap. What do I do? If I tell, he might try to help, and get himself killed, and if I don’t I’ll never get away from dad.

“My dad beats me.” I start crying. I cried for two reasons. One, it felt so good for me to get that off my chest, and two, I may have just sent Duncan to his death if he tries to help me.

“Oh my God, Melanie. That’s awful. I’m so sorry.” He said. He said it like he meant it. He held me again. The exact same way he did when he picked me up off the floor the day we met. I didn’t want him to ever let go.

I calmed down a little. My head rested on his shoulder and I was hugging him back. He was such a comfort to me, and I needed him real bad right then.

“Okay, I’m okay.” I said. He let go.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“ Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Okay.” It was a little awkward after that, but then he ordered us some ice cream. We got to talking about some other stuff, but it didn’t seem completely comfortable with the previous conversation still lingering. It seemed like forever when we were talking, but it was only a half hour. He had to go home because he was going to his little brother’s birthday party. He walked me home, obviously sad because of what might happen if I go inside, and maybe because he isn’t going to be near me ( Well, that’s what I hoped, anyway). We walked silently until we reached the front porch. We stood there for a while, and then I said good bye. I turned to walk inside when he said “Wait.”

I turned around. He leaned over and kissed me.

It was wonderful. It was all I wanted since I met him, for him to love me.

It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough for me.

“Thank you.” I spoke softly. Duncan turned around and headed down the stairs.

“Good-bye, Melanie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I floated into my small house like a feather. I didn’t even notice dad sitting in his favorite chair, brooding. Mom was no where to be found, but I didn’t care about either of my parents. I glided up the stairs slowly. It seemed as though time has stopped. Duncan likes me, I thought. What a glorious feeling! He not only likes me, he like, likes me! Just like I love him. Ever since I met him, I had always dreamed of Duncan loving me. I went into my room and fell onto my scratchy bed. It seemed so soft then. I was filled to the lid with positive emotions for the longest time. It was kinda like being stuck in paradise, until stomps coming up the stairs shattered my world.

“Melanie, open up!” It was dad. He hadn’t got completely up the stairs yet, I could lock him out if I wanted to. But I thought I best not to anger him anymore than he already was. I opened the door a crack.

“Yes?” I whispered. He was steaming mad. I could see where this was going to go.

“You didn’t say you were coming home late.” He spat. “ Where were you?”

“I was… uhh…” I didn’t know what to do. How could I be so stupid?! I should’ve called right after school.

“Well?” he was obviously growing impatient. I panicked, I didn’t want Dad to hurt Duncan, or me. What was I going to say that would let both of us be unharmed?

“Uhh…The bus was late! Er, uhh, I mean it was broken and I had to walk home from school.” Uh-oh. I screwed up big time. Here it comes!

“Rrraagh!” he screamed. “You liar! You were with a boy, weren’t you! Oh you lying little-”

“I believe her, honey.” She said timidly. He was cut off by mom. Wow. That was unexpected. Dad turned around quickly, with fire in his eyes and his heart pulsating from the rush of almost hitting me. He looked at mom menacingly, but her expression never changed. He eventually relaxed and turned to walk away, but not without giving me a good scare.

He turned around sharply, and got way up into my face. I yelped and ducked, bracing for impact.

“If you are ever late home from school again without telling us, you are gonna get the whupping of your life.” He said through gritted teeth. He turned away, looking resentful. There was no way that man was going to get in between me and Duncan. I had to stop him, someday, somehow. Mom looked at me, watching me stand in the doorway shaking with fright, just watching. It seems like that was all she ever does is sit back and watch. Tomorrow Duncan was going to hear about this, because I trust him to take care of me.
The next day, I met Duncan in the cafeteria in the corner of the room in a booth. I told him I had something important to say.

“Duncan, something happened last night.”

“What happened?” he whispered. He sounded worried. I know he cares.

“Nothing serious, but my dad almost beat me up because I was late home from school, talking to you.”

“ Oh my… are you okay? I’m so sorry-”

“No, it’s not your fault” I cut him short. “I should’ve called them or something, and you didn’t know what he would have done yet.”

“I’m glad you’re okay. I’m still worried about what he could do to you.” That really hit me, right in the heart, I think Duncan was crushing on me from the beginning.

“Well, I’m worried about what he could do to you.” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You know how he is. If I ever let him find out about you, he would kill you. Literally!” I explained.

“I understand your concern, but he is kind of old, and I think I could take him.”

“No, you don’t understand, my dad is a normal old dude, except when he gets mad. He gets like, superhuman strength. It’s impossible to fight him then.”

“Okay, then why would your dad want to hurt me? I never even met the guy, let alone get him angry.”

“That’s the thing. You don’t have to do anything to get him mad. My dad gets mad for no reason. Do you think I egg him on or something?”

“No way. You don’t deserve to be punished. You’re a good girl.”

I smiled. That was nice. But I had to be serious.

“Every time I introduce a boy to my parents, I hope that dad will see that I am responsible, and can be trusted. But it always ends up the same, dad gives them a death threat and they stop talking to me altogether. I don’t want to lose you, Duncan.” I started crying again. This whole thing was way over my head. I was confused and didn’t know what to do to stop dad from hurting us. Duncan took my hands.

“Melanie, I’ll help you stop your dad. I won’t give up on you.”

That just melted me. I love that guy more than anything. And he wanted to help me. He is sooo sweet. But I still don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how he can help, and if he can’t he’ll be murdered. Murdered!

“Oh, I know. But what could you do? I’ve never tried to stop him or anything. I’m too scared, and mom is no help at all. She just watches and waites.”

“First of all, we gotta get you out of that place. It’s too dangerous with your dad and your mom isn’t helping, so what’s the point of living there?”

“Where would I go?” I asked. He sighed.

“Look, I hope you realize I’m not trying to take advantage of you when I say this…” he paused.

“But I think you could move in with me.” He mumbled.

“I know, it’s okay. But dad would hunt you down. I went to a sleepover without telling him, but I told mom, and he looked up my friend’s house, drove down there, picked me up and beat me in the car for not telling him where I went.”

“It sounds like he wants to have total control over you. Your life, everything. He’s always been like this?”

“Ever since I can remember.” Duncan wants to be a cognitive psychiatrist. I could tell he was trying to figure out what dads’ problem was.

“Well, it seems to me like-” Then the bell rang. Shoot.

“Aw, crap. I’ll talk to you after school.” He looked at me real worried. “And please make sure you call your parents first.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, said, “I don’t want anyone to hurt you.” And then he smiled at me.

We left the cafeteria holding hands.

The phone conversation didn’t go well.

“What do you mean your going to be late from school?!”

“I have a project due next week, and I need to use the computer at school.”

“We have a perfectly good computer right here at home!”

“I know, but what I have done from my project is saved on the computer at school. I just wanted to call so you weren’t going to be worried.”

“Oh, fine then! Stay as long as you want! I don’t care!” Dad hung up. At least I got to spend some time with Duncan before I left.

“Okay he knows.” I said as Duncan approached me at the track field. “What is your diagnosis?” I joked.

He looked at me seriously. I shouldn’t have joked about it. This was real.

“I think your dad is schizophrenic.” He said. “Does he keep to himself mostly? Have weird, violent mood swings a lot?”

“Yes and yes.” I said.

“Yeah, I think he has schizophrenia, then.”

“What’s that?” I asked. Duncan was too smart for my own good.

“Basically, it’s where somebody has voices in their head that tell them what to do. They lose their ability to make decisions for themselves and are often confused, and that, in your dads’ case, leads to violence.”

“I never would have thought…Well, I mean like, I always knew something was wrong, but I didn’t ever think it was a mental problem beyond hate.” Jeez, I am friends with him, sort of going out with him, but I still can make a fool out of myself ‘cause I love Duncan.

“Duncan, what am I going to do? I don’t know anything about ‘schizo-whatever-ya’, and I’m afraid that if he meets you, and suspects that we’re…” I paused and cleared my throat. “going out, he’ll put you in traction.” I finished softly.

“I’m sorry, but you don’t get it. Melanie, I don’t care how bad your dad bangs me up, I’m not going down without a fight, and I’m not going down, because you mean everything in the world to me. I’m not going to stand back and watch your dad hurt you. I care about you, I love y-” he didn’t have time to finish. We were too busy making out.
This is hard to explain. I got a rush when Duncan kissed me, and it was just a peck, that day he walked me home. It was a perfect first kiss. It was in the evening, with a cool breeze blowing through my hair. His lips touched mine and were warm. That kiss was powerful, that one little kiss. It was powerful enough to sweep me off my feet, one light touch. But this time, it was so much more than that. He had his hand on my hip, my hand on his shoulder, and we connected. He was the first guy I ever met who knew about my parents, and wasn’t afraid to date me. I was kissing my dream guy, and we understood each other. I heard some of his track buddies hooting and hollering once they saw us, but neither of us noticed. I was a mess. I had giant butterflies in my stomach, and felt lighter than air. We finally stopped, but the butterflies didn’t go away. I didn’t want them to. We looked into each others eyes for a long time. I decided I’d better go. My dad was unpredictable.

I sighed.

“Goodbye, Duncan. I’ll see you later.” I said.

“Okay. You be careful, alright?” he asked

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” He gave me a nice, long hug. His arms were so secure. He would fight anything to protect me if he had to. That felt so good after all that I had been through.

“I’ll miss you, baby.” He said.

“I’ll miss you too.”

I went over toward the street. I had to walk home because I didn’t have a car and the busses already left, obviously.
I got home in good time, my dad wasn’t in sight, and I was happy. I got my homework done when I was waiting for Duncan’s track meeting to end, so I didn’t have anything to do. I decided to write about Duncan in my poetry notebook. I hadn’t been writing much lately because of Duncan and school and dad, and poetry was a great way to vent my emotions.

That’s not the whole poem, though, because I was suddenly interrupted by a sharp pain shooting through my whole body. Dad found his old baseball bat. He hit me in the head while I was in what I call “The Zone.” I find my little thinking corner, and brainstorm poetry. But dad snuck up on me and hit me in the head, hard.

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” I screamed. He hit me a second time. I was knocked nearly unconscious.

“You said you had a project at school!” he raged. He was furious with me. He kept hitting me. I kept screaming, louder and louder and louder. This was horrible. It was the worst he has ever done to me.

“What did I do?! I never try to make you mad! I’m sorry! Please, stop! Daddy, quit it!” I pleaded. I ducked my head and curled up into a ball so he couldn’t hit me in sensitive areas.

Suddenly he stopped. He threw the bat down, dragged me off the floor, grabbed my arms, and hoisted me up into the air and pushed me against the wall.

“I saw you with that boy, you were kissing him at school. You did lie to me! I forbid you to ever make contact with that boy again or I’ll hurt him.”
“No, Duncan…” I whispered to myself. But dad heard.

“That boy is gonna…” he stopped all of the sudden. He had a blank stare on his face for a few seconds.

“Dad?” I whimpered. But he came back.

“That boy is going to pay!” he yelled. Dad had me stuck against the wall, still. My arms and sides were throbbing with extreme pain.

He threw me back down.

“Aah!” I cried. My eyes were blurry. Dad went for the bat again, and I was powerless. I couldn’t run away, I couldn’t defend myself, my world was going to end, soon. I just knew it.
Then, my mother screamed. It was a long, piercing, horrifying scream. My mom had just cracked. I heard the front door crash open. Dad stopped in his tracks. He froze. Everything was going through my mind. Is mom going to kill herself? Will dad beat me to death? Are we in the middle of being robbed? Is dad going to kill my dream guy, Duncan? All of these thoughts raced through my mind in a matter of seconds, while I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Oh my god, I thought, a thief! Then all of the sudden, Duncan burst though my bedroom door!

“Aaaah!” he yelled.

“Duncan?! What are you-” but dad interrupted me.

“What do you think your doing here, boy?! Get out of my house!”

“No! Stop this right now! This is cruel and unusual punishment! I forbid you to lay another hand on her!”

Duncan came to save me. This seemed like such a fairytale. The damsel in distress is rescued by her handsome prince. It was a miracle.

All of the sudden, I was in the middle of a fighting frenzy. Punches and grunts everywhere. I heard a couple of cracks and outbursts of pain, but I couldn’t tell what was happening around me. Everything was so violent, scary and loud. I was in extreme pain already, and wasn’t able to imagine what Duncan was going through. I closed my eyes, curled up in the fetal position, and stayed their until I built up enough courage to crawl over to my landline phone.

I did something that my mom should have done a million times.

I called 911.

“911 Emergency service. What is your emergency?” the lady at the other line said.

I started crying. “My dad and my boyfriend are fighting because my dad was beating me up.” I spluttered.

“Two ambulances and the police are on their way.” She announced.

“We are going to need more than one ambulance.” I stated. “Please send three.”

Eventually, I was so weak from pain that I passed out before the help had arrived. But it was ok. It seemed like a utopia, while I slept. I had a wonderful dream, where mom and me and dad all got along with Duncan, and Duncan and I got married and lived happily ever after, so our fairytale didn’t end in disaster.
I woke up in the hospital about half an hour after we got there. I was all alone, except for my mom sitting in a waiting chair across from my bed. She was slumped over, with her hands massaging he forehead like she had a major headache. She probably did. I was very weak, and uncomfortable with all the wires sticking out of me. But I wanted to know what happened.

“Mom?” I said. She nearly jumped out of her skin. She came over to my bedside.

“Honey, I am so glad that you are okay. I hoped that you would be able to talk. The Doctor said that you were hurt, but that it wouldn’t cause brain damage.”

“What happened to dad?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” She said. “I’ve have been here the whole time.”

“So you don’t know about Duncan either?” I asked, discouraged.

“Sorry, no. I didn’t want to leave your side.” Wow. This was the first time in my life that mom shows that she cares about me. I still am not completely sure about her though.

“Do you want me to check to see if he is okay?” she asked. My eyes got wide.

“Yes, please.” I know what dad is capable of, and I prayed that Duncan was fine. My mom turned around and headed out the door to the reference desk. I looked around and took note of my surroundings. Blank, white walls, another hospital bed next to mine, a T.V., and a lot of chairs with piles of magazines in between them. It was very depressing. Thinking of the hospital room was the only way to keep my mind off Duncan. But a few times I let my mind wander and images of Duncan beaten and swollen and dead seeped into my thoughts. I was so worried. I grew extremely impatient. What the hell was taking her so long? I was just about to drift into a troubled sleep when mom popped her head in. She looked sad.

“How is Duncan? Is he okay? Can he walk, talk and breathe?” I said all in one breath.

“Oh, honey.” She paused. “Duncan can think and breathe and feel, but he is in a coma.”

I couldn’t believe it. Of course I suspected that he was worse off than me, but he was in a coma. Now a whole new set of worried questions filled my head. Was Duncan ever going to wake up? If he did was he even going to remember me? My life would be absolutely miserable without him. Even if my dad wasn’t allowed near me. Duncan was “the one”, I just knew it. The second they were going to let me walk, I was going to see Duncan, and pray for him. He needed to get better. He needed to get better, because if he didn’t, I would never heal.

Mom took a piece of neatly folded paper out of her purse.

“They said that, in the ambulance, Duncan told one of them to give this to you, right before he passed out.” She said quietly. I took the paper and unfolded it.
Hey, Melanie. If you get this, it probably means that I am not awake or well enough to come tell you myself. I listened to you when you said that your dad was strong, so I took precautions. I wrote this for you in case I didn’t make it. When you left the track, I noticed that your dad had driven up to spy on you. He was far away, so I wasn’t sure if he could see us and you were already on your way home when I noticed. I knew that it wouldn’t end up good, and so I followed you home to make sure you were going to be ok. I didn’t get caught by your dad, so I sat on the front porch for a while, just to be safe. When I heard a scream, I new something was wrong, so I decided to go in and help. I was going to break down your door and make sure you were ok. I wrote all of this on your porch, so you can probably ask your mom to tell you the rest, if she is ok too. Hope You Are Well.










Love,











Duncan

I started crying. Duncan really cared about me. He was brave enough to stand up to my father, and fight for me. Duncan was the man I was going to marry. If he made it. I looked up at my mother with tears in my eyes.

“What happened after he came in the door?” I asked.

“That is why I screamed. I didn’t know who he was or what he wanted. So I screamed and ran away in terror. He looked real angry and ready to fight. I wanted nothing to do with him. So I just screamed and ran. I hid in the kitchen and I heard him run up the stairs and fight your father. I knew it was bad, but I was completely frozen. I regret not calling for help like you did. I always have regretted not calling police when you were being beaten. But it was like that for awhile. Me cowering and Duncan fighting your dad. Then the police came and carted you all out of there.”

I was speechless. Duncan could be dead, I need him. Without Duncan I would miserable, and their would be no reason to live.
According to the doctors, I was making a very nice recovery. Really, the worst injury was a couple of broken ribs. It had been three days, and Duncan still hadn’t woken up. This was killing me. I couldn’t stand it. I had to sit in my hospital bed with a brace around my stomach, and I wasn’t allowed to see Duncan.

Just when I was about to lose hope, a miracle happened.

Duncan was awake.

I was overjoyed when I heard the news! I couldn’t believe it! I kept talking and begging to go talk to him, but they kept saying ‘No. You are still too weak to walk.’ Or ‘No. He isn’t ready yet.’ They were really getting on my nerves. I had to rely on my mom for communication. She would come up and give me updates about his health and talk about how he is pissing off the nurses because he keeps bugging them to let him see me. That was comforting. It made me feel better. I would smile when I heard stuff like that. It seems like forever since I last smiled.

One day, my nurse, Deborah, came in and said “Some one is here to see you.” And smiled. She said it in a weird, sing-songy way. I wondered who could it be?

Duncan walked right in. He was wearing normal clothes and had a smile on his face a mile long.

“Hi!” I squealed.

“Hey, Melanie. Are you alright?”

“I am now.”

Duncan came up to my bedside and gave me a little kiss. I held his face and whispered “I love You.”




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This article has 75 comments. Post your own!

KiraVogt2896 said...
Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:29 pm:
I loved this story! I actually cried when she got hit by the baseball bat! You have such a great writting skill! And i love Ducan and Melanie. I'll keep reading all your stories! Good job and keep on writting! :) <33
 
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writer3499 said...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 10:45 am:
Wow this is fantastic!!! It's scary ad violet but it also beautiful and sweet! You are a excellent writer!!  This really need to be published! 
 
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noormhamwy said...
May 19, 2012 at 5:27 am:
wow <3 i love this, its really original and touching!!!!! 
 
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JosieFrost said...
May 3, 2012 at 5:11 pm:
-Dies with the amazingness of the awesomeness portrayed in this fantastic story-
 
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Rachel D. said...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 9:10 pm:
amazing! this was so believable, very good writing. oh and i love duncan :D
 
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Zuccini75 said...
Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm:
Love how caring Duncan is - very touching story!
 
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Potterlover929 said...
Mar. 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm:
I love this!! It's such good writing. 
 
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NaomiStatiaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 10:28 am:
Honestly, I teared up at the end of the story! I can completely relate to this story! Except I could not rely on a guy as wonderful as Duncan but only myself. I love this story with all my heart!
 
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DreamrThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 9:59 am:
Such a sweet story :) I hope her dad gets carted away to jail for LIFE!!!!!!!
 
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Kendra C. said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 9:46 pm:
This is soooo good!!! Love this story!!
 
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Nessa13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm:
What ever did happen to the dad?? I hope that he is dead!!!
 
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nina.w said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm:
I LOVED this! I think this is the best story I have read yet and I hope it gets to the top! wow... just amazing
 
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XxilybbyxX said...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 6:03 pm:

 AMAZING! wow I LOVE THIS STORY!! :) BEST STORY IVE EVER READ!!! check some of my work oout? :)

 

 
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Juggaemo said...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm:
The story was amazing and it shows how love can get u so far in tough times.
 
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loveshortstuff11 said...
Sept. 27, 2011 at 10:46 pm:
Wow that was great. First I thought that it was just going to be sad, but the end made it all better. :)
 
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IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 27, 2011 at 7:50 pm:
Incredible!! This pulled me right in, and didn't let go until the very end. 
 
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LeTrice said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 11:53 pm:
OMG!!!! I LOVE THIS. THIS IS THE BEST STORY I'VE EVER READ!
 
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Sabrin D. said...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 1:59 pm:
Your amazing ! Better than everyon ive heard
 
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LazyDaisyTheWriter said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 6:45 am:
first, i love it! i felt all the emotions and everything. you had a bunch of spelling/grammar mistakes, but that's not totally important. and i agree with lunalovegood32: what DID happen to the dad?
 
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lunalovegood32 said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:57 am:
aghhh wat happenned to the dad?? did he die??? is he in jail??? aghhh!!!!
 
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