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Cant get better than this....

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Nothing better than this...The lights, The rides, the constant rush of the people surrounding us...the guy.Everything was perfect. We walked, Hand in hand, my eyes skippign from ride to ride.
" Oh we have to go on this!" he screeched as he pulled me to the bumpercars. He immediately got into one and pulled me onto his lap.
" this isnt safe!" I whined only half kidding.
"Exactaly." he smiled as he hit the gas at break neck speed.A small girl screamed as 'we' slammed mercissly into her. The operator kicked us off after that cause we were a 'danger' to children. I was more than pleased to sink my teeth into a delishious corn-dog.
"I didnt know you were into this kinda stuff?" I asked,mouth still full. He didnt seem to mind. He replied back indifferently.
" i dont." He replied. "its only this great cause your here." he smirked. I answered in a fake voice,
"hun-ey since when are you so romantic?"
He looked down at me in mock-seriousness.
"Baby,Im whatever you want me to be whenever you want it" he dipped me low to the ground and kissed me gently before returning me to the ground. Although my head was somewhere else.His Plain white t-shirt fit well across his perfectly cut abs, well his worn out jeans hugged his waist comfertably.His almost black hair fell messily infront of his eyes...oh his eyes...painted on a beautiful canvas...the dark brown pouring emotion. His lips...begging for touch.I shook away the thoughts just in time to hear the screaming and feel myself being pulled closer to the stage.It was almost midnight now but we werent in a rush.The band belted out thier rebellious sound.He swayed to the music.Finally the beat slowed as the band launched into a ballad.He stepped closer and raised my hands to his shoulders then lightly placed his hands on my back. We were slow dancing. The beat quickened but we stayed the same, never speeding up..but never stopping...completly lost in the moment.He kissed me slowly and i couldnt be more thankful for such an amazing person in my life and couldnt wish for anything more. I pulled him into a tight hug as he stroked my hair as the first firework light in the perfectly still night sky.
"lets go, my Juliet." he whispered lightly in my ear. We found ourselfs at the ferris wheel. He smiled shyly at me as if approving he was allowed to go. I smiled back and we climbed in.For a while we didnt talk. We just held eachother and watched the explosion of colors across the sky.When we reached the top he just stared at me.
"What." I asked self-consiously.
"You are so beautiful" He told me.He looked at me deeply.It was my turn to stare.His Eyes Shawn with all the light in the world.I didnt know what to say. I managed:
"Your everything to me.Your my day, my night,my happiness, everything only occurs because your in my heart."
"Your everything to me and i couldnt live without you.it would be as if i was the last person alive."I couldnt sppek. I pulled him to me and kissed him as if id never get to again, as if there would never be another day or night.
"I love you." he whispered as the

Sky.Went.Dark <3



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JuliaRuby said...
Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:56 am
omg i lovvvveeeee this...
 
kate12345me said...
Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:27 am
I'm sorry but I don't see how this is good? You need to improve your spelling, grammar and punctuation drastically. Given, the plot line is good, but you won't get anywhere even with the best plot line if you can't actually write understandably. I started reading this and the grammar just completely threw me off. Please take this as constructive criticism, not offensively!
 
SoccaPlaya19 replied...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 8:16 pm
I completely agree. You need to be sure to spell check and puncuate correctly before publishing. I found this hard to read. It was slightly shallow too... No worries, though!  --C
 
romance_lover This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 10:17 pm
I completely agree, this story was from two years ago, and the fact that people are still complaining about my spelling and grammer is hilarious. My writing has developed durasticaly since I published this story. 
 
WrightOrLeft replied...
Sept. 23, 2012 at 4:21 pm
I enjoyed this thoroughly. You have this raw and talented feel to your writing. The story was beautiful and the plot was sweet and endering. You're young and still writing, that's good. Ignore them, I loved it.
 
RandomPoetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 5, 2012 at 10:04 am

This story is AMAZING i loved it !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Laxfender said...
May 14, 2012 at 11:32 am
Great story, im so jelly :) wish i could write like this
 
writer3499 said...
Mar. 31, 2012 at 5:27 pm
WOW I love this!!!!! This is so well written and the plot is perfect!! This is the best romance story I have ever read... i don' even know what to say!! WOW!!! Completly amazing!!! 
 
ChocoMint said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 11:30 pm
Loved the plot line, but yo need to work on your grammar and dialogue. At times it was hard to tell who was speaking. Also try to make the transitions from setting to setting a bit smoother. It just seemed like you were jumping from place to place without any purpose. Keep it up though.
 
MUSICSAVESMYSOUL said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 2:05 pm
gosh i loved it you are amazing i loved the ending and everything about the story great work...great job...your awsome i dont like the story i loved the story...i'm a writer my self but your BETER that ME...hope you are witing a nother story or you did so i can read it your great at writing and i liked the idea where we put are selfs in the charactors feelings...i cant stop reading it i would put this story a 100000000000000 stars...your welcome
 
Emilyourstruly said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Adorable ending! just the type of love stories i love!
 
SpeakingLifeofSerenity said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 9:59 am
This was a good story I like the imagery and how you expressed the emotions and stuff. But there was some wrong grammar other than that it was good.
 
smilingtillinfinity said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 2:07 am
Really nice !
And the best part bout it was... it was so realistic ! :)
 
lucky4579 said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 5:29 pm
My favorite musical is Carousel and I was just watcing it when I read this story! It has the same themes as the musical and I LOVE BOTH!! good job!! 
 
star3033 said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Very romantic. Good details.
 
Jappyalldayeveryday said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 9:03 am
You had a nice ending, but there weren't really enough background details about their relationship or the characters. Also, nothing significant happened in the plot/story and there were lots of grammar/spelling errors.
 
TaurusGal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 11:43 am
If you have spare time, hope you can read my article, thanks =]"
 
TaurusGal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Well done... Really romantic.
 
meowers5 said...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 8:15 pm

SO GOOD! I loved it

 

 
Ariel_Rosario said...
Oct. 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm
OH MY, this is awesome! I felt everything she was feeling and everything you said created an absolutely PERFECT image :) Great job!
 
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