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Heart Still Beats
"Double, double toil and trouble," I read from Shakespeare’s Macbeth.
So that's where the line comes from. I always wondered.
I faintly wonder if he went through that himself--double hard work, only to get trouble. After all, everyone knows witches don’t truly exist like everyone imagines them. Or, at least, I hope they don't--I'd think it would go against the laws of, well, humanity itself. A person has to think of alchemy, and how it never worked out. You cannot get gold from nothing.
The law of conservation of energy is all it takes to realize that we cannot create or destroy that buzz that keeps things going. It still lingers on.
"Do you want me to leave?" I ask, my eyes filled with those salty tears.
You just nod, unable to even look into my face. It's too hard, I know. You don't want to let me go, but you feel you need to. In order to keep going, I have to leave.
But you know I never will leave. At least in your mind, I will go on living.
We put double, double toil into this, yet all we got was trouble.
No magic. Just the science of energy. The only thing that really speaks truth in this world, at least to me. No Magic Man for me. Not yet.
My hand reaches out to yours one more time. I am able to wrap it around without effort, as if yours was cold and lifeless. Is there such a thing as cold potential energy, or is this just because of these winds tearing into us, body and soul?
I squeeze your subzero, icy skin. You must be numb, I imagine, because you don’t even flinch away or appear to notice. You just stand there. Silent as one of those white padded rooms that they keep the mentally insane in. It scares me, so I finally let go of you and back away.
My chest pangs, full of hurt. I rest my hand over my heart as I look at you for what could be the final time, and then I turn to walk out of this place. Anywhere becomes better than here.
My heart still beats on, though. Energy still pulses throughout my body, and I wonder when you'll feel that pulse again. I want you to feel it racing through you, so desperately. But to do that, you'll have to take the first, hardest step of them all--