I'm scared, frightened

Because when we get there

He is going to see her

And he is going to be breathless

He's going to think to himself, "Damn she's beautiful"

She's going to smile and he's going to be blown away

She's gonna take him from me

The professor's going to have to get his attention back to the front

And he is going to struggle to pull his face away from her waiting in her desk

He's going to finally snap out of it and feel bad for what he did

Because he realized he promised something to me

Something I knew he would never keep

He promised he would never fall in love, but he just caught himself

He walks out and i meet him in the halls waiting for my hug and kiss like every normal day

But instead he was distracted and he said nothing but "I'm sorry I gotta go." then walks away

Of course i knew something was wrong and finally confronted him

He tells me "Im sorry, i do still love you, but it's just not the same anymore."

So i said,"Its okay, as long as you are happy."

Then i hung up, i cried till there was nothing left.

Because he promised, he promised it was him and i forever

Then i realized i can't live without him, ever

I text him then stating, "I hate you! I wish i never fell in love with you, but i did, and i will never ever get out of your grip. I can't live without you, in pain. So finally, Goodbye."

I went into the bathroom, locked the door, wrote my i'm sorrys on a notepad.

I took the pills in my hidden cabinet, filled my tub in hot water.

Stepped lightly into the water and layed there in silence

Then I took a blade and slit both of my wrists, deep.

I layed back and slowly fell down into death.

As soon as i almost drifted to internal death i saw a text from "Him"

He told me, “I know i'm so sorry. I'm in love with you and i never should have left. Please forgive me.”

I trembled to text back “Too L…”

And the a tear fell hard onto the water and then i was gone.

I didn't even get to say goodbye. My life was lost in that regretful moment.

My mom came to check up on me so she knock onto the door called my name out a few times and no answer. She ran to my stepfather to come get the door unlocked and when the finally did she fell to the floor. Started to shake me and screaming please wake up. PLEASE…

But i didn't.

All that was left was a cold, dead girl who thought she had nothing left. When maybe she did. She did know how to love. She did have a best friend. She did have her little siblings that looked up to her as a model. She had parents that cared, maybe not as much as she wanted them to but they still did care.

It's now time for my funeral. My mom worked hard on not shedding one tear. My sisters screaming and crying. My brother trying to stay strong. My hopeless body layed there. “He” was the first one up. He looked at me and started to cry. I felt the teardrops on my skin. And i just prayed that this was the fairy tall and not i would wake up. I would rise from the coffin and have my life back. But i didn't, so i suffered listening to each person that came up to me asking the same question. “Why would you do this?” And I ask myself the same question day by day. Sitting in the room i used to call mine. Screaming when someone passes by me, hoping they would see me. But i was dead. 4 months of death, in the ground. Why? Why me!?

At this point I don't know anymore… I'm sorry. Mom. Dad. I am. I loved you but i never felt you did and now that i saw the tears fall from your eyes and sadness in your heart day by day i knew i was wrong. I want to come home, i do. I want you to see me. Please see me…