Toxic Love | Teen Ink

Toxic Love

June 16, 2018
By AlwaysInBeastMode GOLD, Suitland, Maryland
AlwaysInBeastMode GOLD, Suitland, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.


Go ahead and leave, Wait don’t go, What am I doing? Leave go ahead I don’t need you to stay let me open the door for you. Cries on the inside please don’t go! I should be used to this but how can I when everytime I get close to someone they always leave. I’m getting high off their love even though it’s fake love, gosh it felt so real. How come God takes away the people the people you thought loved you? My heart should grow cold as ice, how can my heart grow cold when it’s as big as the ocean? Sitting here with these needles in my hand thinking whether or not I should numb the pain. The room is spinning as if I’m a ballerina twirling. I’m rocking back and forth, body shivering as if I’m in Alaska, my inner voice telling me to stick the needle in my chest. I go with what my heart is telling me to do, I stick that needle in my chest, my eyes rolling as if I’m trying to see every firework there is like on fourth of July.You see when I stick them needles in my chest it leaves an ugly mark. I got to contour my chest as if I’m about to walk the runway in a fashion show. I hide my pain so well you wouldn’t even know I was hurting. Hold my head up high and put the mask over my face everytime I go out in public but when I’m alone it's a different story. So exhausted from pretending to be okay. I taught myself to fake it to make it. If your body not numb by now well let’s just say you numb it yourself. When your heart gets addicted to them drugs all you can do is keep getting high. Look what you made me do getting high off memories, I’m banging my head against this wall as if I’m trying to release these demons living inside me. My blood is covering the wall with every hit, I feel your eyes watching me with that little smirk on your face I love so much. I’m trying to get you out of my head, too high to notice you the one that's supplying me with these drugs.Every time I try and overdose you pop into my head, could it be I’m overdosing on your love. Rolling up my sleeve-hearing your words sounding far away as if I’m in space- I hear you saying, “This going to make you feel better.” You know how to break me with your love. I need your love it’s my medicine but of course it’s bad medicine. You did this too many times, your love is so amazing it’s all I want got me all faded. I didn’t want you to play me but in the end I ended up playing myself. I choose to stay and keep messing with you, I can’t play the victim since I had a choice to stay or to leave. I choose to stay therefore I have to accept the consequences. How come when everything was perfect your love felt so amazing and I was craving for it. Now I crave your love as if its a drug and it’s the only thing that can heal me. I’m blasting Trippie Redd Romeo and Juliet, can’t you tell by how we acting expect for Juliet dies and Romeo lives. I’m surrounded by all this white light could it be I finally succeeded and overdose on your love. Your love is my medicine when I’m up you bring me down. Now I’m down and it seem like u making hit rock bottom. I hear an angel say I’m suffering enough and it’s time to go but I didn’t want her to take me just yet. I’m feigning too bad and I know I will crave it in the place up above.



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