a look back | Teen Ink

a look back

March 1, 2018
By KByer BRONZE, Osage, Minnesota
KByer BRONZE, Osage, Minnesota
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I woke up on Thursday, September 10th . My house was filled with noise from my Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins. I never usually had a houseful of people. The smell of pancakes filled the air, and I could hear the sizzling of bacon on the stove. I got dressed for school wearing black leggings and a grey volleyball sweatshirt with  my black nike tennis shoes and headed out the door with my brother. Walking into school, I headed to my locker and stuffed my backpack into it. The bell rang and I headed to first hour. I was happy to be in the classroom to keep me distracted. Lunch time was getting close with my belly growling for some food to eat. I was sitting at the lunch table with my friends having a conversation about the volleyball game in Staples. Getting up from my chair I dumped my lunch tray and went to my locker to grab my bag to leave. I signed out on the white piece of paper in the office and then made my way to the locker room to change. I put on a black loose fitting dress with some black dressy shoes. I met my brother in the hall, and we walked to his vehicle and we drove to the church. 


Approaching the St. John's Church five minutes later, I could see the parking lot looked full with  barely anywhere to park. I was greeted by my Mom and gave her a long hug. That hug was followed by many other hugs by relatives I haven't seen in awhile and by people I didn't recognize. I could feel the sadness in the air. But there I stand with no emotion, no tears, nothing. I daze off into my own world thinking that today isn't real, it’s just a dream, but I'm soon refocused into the real world when my cousin taps me on the shoulder. My two cousins, Sam, Logan, and I sit down at a dark brown table away from all the commotion. In a middle of a conversation I was having, the Pastor announces to everyone that we were going to pray before we entered the sanctuary. Standing by my brother  I felt his hand which feels rough and very dry and walk with him into the sanctuary. I could see tears pouring down his face.


“You’ll be okay Connor,” I said.


“I know, sis,” he replied quietly.


I sit down by my father in the first row where my Aunt, Grandpa and Mom are also sitting. I admired all the beautiful bright colored flowers that were placed on the sides of my grandma. I had the memorial booklet in my hands and kept reading it through the entire ceremony, looking at the picture of my beautiful grandma. As I stared at my grandma's picture, I was thinking of all the memories I had with her and how I could never spend another day with her. It hit me for the first time that there would be no more moments with her. I could feel the tears filling my eyes, but no droplet ran down my face.  My Grandma’s five siblings were all there, each one with so many emotions on their faces. All of them stand up and gather around the casket and place their hands on it. Silence.


With small red flowers in each of their hands, they kiss it and say the final goodbye to their loving sister.
Music played. Lynn Just sang every note so beautifully, it brought me happiness. Soon all the sad faces filled with joy and hope. My grandma was carried outside, I put my head down and prayed to God. Then I got up and followed my mom and dad outside and watched the casket be placed into the hearse.


I hopped into my parent’s vehicle, and we took off to the cemetery. I looked behind me and saw a long line of cars following. It seemed like we were driving forever. We turned onto the gravel road; I knew we were getting close. The cemetery was small with a silver fence. I saw  other grave stones in the ground, it brought me down just  knowing that my grandma’s grave stone would join all the others there. We all gathered in a circle around my grandma. 


The wind was blowing hard as my hair flies all around in different directions. I saw my grandpa with his hands together and head hanging down, and my heart instantly filled with sadness. My mom next to him held onto a tissue in her right hand and clenching my dad's hand with her left, focusing on the sky trying to get through this loss. I remember hearing the Pastor’s final Amen.  As I walk away towards the car, I take one last look behind me and know I’ll be okay and feel at peace.



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