Over the summer it was decided that I would start the school year at a new school in Maine, and like every other teen girl I had slacked off my freshman and sophomore year so I am struggling to catch up and graduate on time, and if I think about it now I am glad my mom decided to do this one nice thing for me. My father hadn’t had any kids in the house for long periods of time until I came up for the rest of my high school life, so it's been a tough adjustment for me and him. We are getting into a routine for everything now (Even though I am the messy room queen). Even if I didn’t want to do this whole change at first I am glad I did. I am getting my grades up and I am trying to get everything back to normal. My father loves cooking even if he won’t admit it, and with me being such a picky eater he seems to make everything he makes ten times better. If you think about how I came to be at Spruce Mountain this year it was all decided while I was asleep on the couch on an extremely hot Rhode Island summer Monday.

The full decision had many factors like my explosive rage, and my ability to hear one side of a story then blow up on the closest person near me which was almost always my sister. My brother and I have always had this special relationship, and since I am not home with him everyday we call each other all the time. He will text me pictures of things he has done all by himself like him making his own breakfast sandwich. With my brother having learning disabilities it means a lot to get these little little things from him. But my brother has always had to step between me and my sisters stupid little fights, and for a 13 year old boy with Autism it isn’t fair, and you always have those heartbreaking moments when you find out your little brother is being bullied and has to hide away at recess and call our mother because his school didn’t do a thing to help him. It is one of the many reasons I smoke to cope. 

I admit that I had the worst taste in my mouth starting at another new school, I mean I still have my issues with it but I am trying to keep hope and positivity with it. It could be a lot worse, I could be back at Mount Hope with all the kids on drugs and the teachers there for a paycheck not caring if their students graduate or die. All schools have issues but Mount Hope let a boy die on school grounds. I do admit Spruce Mountain is a huge difference than what I am used to but I think I like the change. I get along with all my teachers even though some I had a rough start with. I just wish that all schools took other things more importantly. Every school sees sports as their pride and joy but if it wasn’t for the band kids and choir girls not many people would pay for anything, but that is just how I see it all. Along with all of this I see how this school treats people with Disabilities and how they punish people who harass or make fun of them and I have got to say that means the world to me. I just feel people who have a developmental disability or are physically disabled understand life better because they have to go through it in their own different way.

I have always wondered about my grandparents I mean I never fully knew my grandfather before he died and My grandmother is in Florida (On my dad’s side). I did however find my grandfather's obituary online and learned things like he loved photography and fishing. On my mother’s side I know my grandmother fairly well and I recently found out my “grandfather” is my mother’s stepfather. My mother has a twin and another sister plus a brother. I have two other sisters and a brother. My sister’s names are Courtney and Katrina, but my brother he is one of a kind his name is Keith. My little brother means the world to me along with my sister Courtney whom I hope to visit her grave soon, but me and my sister Katrina don’t see eye to eye anymore even though we were connected to the hip as kids, and because of all the pain she gave me I have issues with smoking. It is the only thing that helps my pain. My older sister Courtney died at birth and on every march 25th we used to go down Notre Dame Cemetery to visit her resting place, and as we visited her we could visit my grandfather along with my great grandfather and mother.

The thing is on every thanksgiving we watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade on tv and my dad is cooking the food while I scream and laugh at the parade. So my father and I went Christmas shopping and honestly it is fun at times and sucked at other times, but honestly It was worth it. I got to spend time with my father today and that is all I can ask for because he works all day everyday to support me and him. I see how some people at Spruce act towards certain situations and to be fully honest the first impression I had changed on the second day because of the negativity of many kids. It hurts watching people you know get judged because people are so insecure about themselves that the only way to feel better is to hate others.

Since Christmas is coming up I am leaving on Friday to go see my brother and family because I haven’t seen them in awhile and to tell the truth I don’t want to go only because how my mother acts around the holidays is how frankenstein acts around fire. It’s scary and tragic how she acts like a child when life doesn't go her way, But what hurts more is that my grandmother (on my moms side) died around christmas and you can image how the family gets. So I never know what to say, how to feel, how to approach the topic and honestly it sucks that I can’t help my family or talk about my grandmother. Maybe it’s just a my family ordeal I mean you never know.