The past lonely nights thinking about what I'd been through in the last two years had me in tears, grasping the pillow laying on my side as my own tears and mascara fall on to the pillow.

"I'm finally out, I'm finally free, but why does it hurt so bad, why do I feel this pain beating in my chest." Thousands of memories were rushing through her head, the good, and the bad. Why doesn’t this make sense. How could you love someone who has never even loved or cared for you in the first place? 

October 5th, you could say was a day to remember for me. I just got done performing during the half time of my first ever high school football game. I ran off the field shouting and cheering, "Go Bears, go!" As I see my crush standing at the edge of the field we meet eye to eye. Never thinking the words that came out of his mouth would ever happen. 

"Adriana would you be my girl?" The excitement rushes from my head to toe, I felt like jumping up and down while saying, Yes, Yes, Yes, a thousand times. But I couldn’t let him know how long I've waited for this moment. So, I calmly said "Yeah sure, if that’s what you want that."

Suddenly he grabbed me and kissed me, the joy of a thousand sunshine's overwhelmed my body with happiness. Was this really happening or was this a dream? I felt my cheek suddenly get wet, I felt it and it was a single drop of water. I looked up and it began to rain, he looked at me and smiled, then kissed me once again. And said "You don’t know how long I've been wanting to ask you out." It was like a fairy tale. I finally got what I've been wanting for the longest time. Months passed and we couldn’t be happier, but after a while everyone's true colors show.

It was mid-December. I was laying down in his bed smiling laughing at my phone. I don’t know what he thought I was doing but he yanked my phone out of my hand threw it clear across the room. Then yelled while gripping me by both my arms "Who you texting, huh? Who's making you smile? Clearly it's not me because I'm right here." 
He left the room and I was on the floor in a fetal position crying. A few minutes passed and he came back and said he was sorry and it would never happen again. He just gets jealous and the only reason why he gets mad is because he loves me. I slowly got up and said no. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t even have been on my phone while you were sitting right next to me. I should've been talking to you."  

I left that day confused. Why did he freak out so much? It's not like I was texting any guys. He made me block them all and he has my password to all my social media.

Walking in the hall way with my friends, Alison, Elena, Yolanda and Alejandra. Alejandra was the nut of the group. She made everyone laugh without even trying to. We passed senior hall all the way down to the cafeteria, everyone stopped laughing and stopped me from walking. I said "What? What's wrong" Alejandra said, "Shhhh, and look" as I turn my head I seen Darion with another girl, laughing and all up on her. Of course, he would be with his ex. In an instant I was pissed. It was like my anger was over powering my body. I wanted to bash her head into the lockers. Obviously, Jocelyn knew we were together. Why would she even think it was okay to talk to him? Why would he even think it was okay to talk to her? He doesn’t even like when I talk to any guy period, so why does he get to do whatever he wants? So, I waited. As soon as I confronted him about the situation he got mad and started yelling at me saying its none of my business why he was talking to her. And that I need to not spying on him and watching his every move. I left without giving him another word to say to me. I went to my usual classes and by the time I knew it school was out. Me and Darion would almost always walk to my house after school but that day we didn’t. I waited and waited and he never showed up. I decided to walk home by myself. Later that day I got a phone call from some strange number. I picked up and it said "Better keep an eye on your boy, you don’t know half the things that he does behind your back." Then the call ended. I just thought it was someone just trying to mess with me. The next day I went to Darion's house in the morning and told him about the message, I was laughing while telling him the story. He didn’t think it was funny at all he said, "Was it a guy or girl? Why would they say that? This is not funny Adriana, why would they call you in the middle of the night just to tell you that?" 

"Well Darion if it's not even true why are you trippin' for?" I walked out of his room into his kitchen to get a glass of water. I heard him yell my name. "Adriana!" I yelled back "What?" he said, "Why did you change your phone password for?" I hadn't changed it so I don’t know why he was getting all worked up about it. "Well, what Adriana? What do you have to hide?" "Nothing! Look through my phone; I don't text anyone but you and my parents." Still not believing me he said "Yeah, sure, Adriana. Whatever you say. Just leave and go home." 
I didn't drive. I was only a freshman; plus, my parents were out of town, so of course I had to walk home. It was a mile at least that I had to walk home. Obviously, he didn’t care what would happen to me because he said to just leave like that. I got home and my grandma asked what was wrong, I just said "Nothing," and kept walking all the way to my room and laid down. I just thought 'man I should just take a nap, and forget everything', so I did. I woke up to my phone ringing, I picked it up and look to answer it and missed it by a few seconds. I looked through my phone and said "Four missed calls?" The phone rang again. "Hello?" 

"WHY HAVN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING MY PHONE CALLS!!!!?" "I'm sorry I fell asleep, I barely woke up" I felt my heart drop after he said, "Why are you lying to me, you stupid little s***!" I was in shock. I didn’t know what to say after that. I immediately hung up and dropped my phone to the floor. I needed to go for a walk. So, I did. 
A week or so passed and we hadn't talked since the incident on the phone. He looked happy doing his own thing with his friends while I was thinking about him 24/7. I didn’t care anymore. I went up to him and told him I didn't want him anymore and no one deserves to be treated the way he treated me. He said "If you ever leave me or think about leaving me again I'll kill both of us."