If Only They Cared

By , Park Ridge, IL

It’s time, they are all out of the house and won't be back until midnight, I can finally end it all. I run upstairs to my room and I start breaking the most fragile things, then I throw the things I made. I looked at my reflection all I see is a mess, tears streaming down my face, breathing ragged, fists clenched, snot dripping down my face, and my hair all over the place like I just woke up from a nightmare. Which I technically did, I lift my left arm and punch with all my might, and the glass shatters like my mind. Glass shards scattered and stuck into my knuckles. Blood starting to form and streaming out of my hand filling in the cracks and crevices that litter it.


I grab one of the biggest, and sharpest shards of glass I see. Bringing it towards my neck, I start thinking about all those that have wronged me. I knew that even if I died no one would care if I was gone. My hand is shaking and I knew that I have to do it now, or I would never get another chance to do it, I bring it slowly down to my neck. ONE the tip scratches the surface of my neck, TWO I start to push down hard enough that I start to feel the pain. The pain  is sharp, jarring, and piercing ,I almost stop. No, I have to do this, I have to keep going. THREE I slowly slide it a cross my neck, FOUR I drop the glass and start to fall towards the floor. I begin to feel the blood pouring down my neck, a warm metallic liquid it feels sticky already.


FIVE, my body hits the floor the broken glass being pressed against my back, biting into my skin. My breathing staggering, rough like it is trying to push through a bunch of rocks. SIX I start to feel the loss of consciousness SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN, ELEVEN… I count the seconds until my final breath. I begin coughing as the blood slowly is suffocating me. Why is it taking so long I thought it would be faster than this? Am I really hated this much that I should suffer for trying to rid the world of someone so useless?


TWENTY, TWENTY-ONE, TWENTY-TWO, TWENTY-THREE… I am surprised no one heard me throwing things around my room and called the police thinking something was wrong.  My vision starts to get blurry and black spots are creeping into my eyes and dancing in them I know I'm getting nearer to my death. Finally. EIGHTY, EIGHTY-ONE, EIGHTY- TWO, EIGHTY- THREE… I can feel the pool of blood mixing with my dyed red hair and making a red halo around my head. I'm getting closer and closer to death hopefully my friends will tell my crush that I loved them and that everyone that wronged me would feel guilty for what they did. NINETY, as I start to draw my final breath I think ‘I hope you are all happy that you all finally broke me into committing suicide see you all in the afterlife. You all deserve for what you are about to find.’ My eyes, finally, fluttered close and everything goes black as I succumb to the abyss and for once feel at peace, I smile.






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