One new message

February 27, 2017
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On the second floor of the empty dorm building, in the room down the hall to the left, Lucy sat on her bed. She stared at her phone, waiting for the screen to illuminate. The rain against the window created the perfect melancholy atmosphere. Her body felt heavy, absorbed into the blackness of her duvet.

 

It was an autumn evening, around a quarter past seven, to be exact.

 

Lucy thought she had an okay life. A full time student with a quarter of a failing lovelife and a lack of any real purpose. She was a high school “adequate,” putting on some half-assed impression of a college prodigy. When the days got too fast for her, she lived on coffee, and when the anxiety from the caffeine became too overwhelming, she found herself spending most nights shaking in her bed. She is the pristine image of a hot mess.

 

The phone finally buzzed and shattered the darkness of the room.

 

One new message.

KYLE: Where are you?

 

That is a good question. She thought she was in her bed, in the room, down the hall of the empty dorm building on Forest Avenue, but she was unsure. Was she in the place to actually get up and put on some decent clothes and get in her car and drive to the restaurant where her boyfriend was waiting? Probably not.

 

The reply would be brief.

 

LUCY: On my way

 

She wasn’t really on her way.

 

One new message.

KYLE: You’re still in your bed, aren’t you…

 

Lucy sat and stared at her phone. The message stared at her with disappointment in its dotted “i’s”. This will make it the fifth time she didn’t bother to show up for a date. Maybe it was time to actually find some words on that keyboard.

 

LUCY: Yeah.

 

Suddenly, words came flooding to her and swarmed her mind. She knew she had to say something to release him from the shackles of false commitment.

 

One new message.

KYLE: How many more times is this going to happen?

LUCY: It won’t happen again.

KYLE: How will I know?

 

She stared at her phone. There were so many things she wanted to say, and yet, the words can’t escape her mind.

 

One new message.

KYLE: I can’t keep doing this…

 

And just like that, she knew what to say.

 

One new message.

KYLE: Why are you doing this to me?

 

She was going to say everything.

 

LUCY: I don’t know if I’m awake or asleep anymore.

LUCY: I don’t dream.

LUCY: Life has turned into something that I do without any sort of meaning.

LUCY: Getting up is a chore.

LUCY: Talking is an exercise in patience.

LUCY: I don’t want to keep you around when I don’t get around to doing anything at all.

LUCY: I just don’t think this is going to work. I’m sorry.

 

A wave of relief washed over her as she read over what she had finally said. She knew that this would be best for him. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, it’s just that the love wasn’t enough to keep her frail heart going. She knew that this was going to happen, and the fear of her collapsing into herself was constantly following her.

 

That wasn’t important anymore.

 

One new message.

KYLE: ok






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