I walked down the hallway, holding my breath. It feels as if all eyes are on me. The freak at the circus. I reached the end and breathed a sigh of relief. These days I am pretty much choking on air. The first period bell rings and I drop my bag, startled by the sound. As I scramble to pick up my scattered items, I feel a presence lurk behind me. The long shadow on the ground shrinks abruptly and I sense someone plop next to me. I snuck a look and my jaws dropped. Thoughts spiraled around in my head like a tornado and I began to feel dizzy. I thought,” Dear God, it’s him, out of all people.” It was Logan, the most intelligent person in the 11th grade and varsity athlete in three sports. I turned my body this time and was greeted with a shockingly, warm presence. As I gazed at Logan I realized for the first time that this is what “safe” must feel like. It seemed like the longest time before he broke my stare and handed me my bag. I cautiously reached out and grabbed it. Just when I thought that this day couldn’t hold any more surprises, he grasped my hand and clung onto it. My insides flipped and I thought, “ this is it. This is my movie moment. The single, best thing that will ever happen to someone like me.” Then, a background voice yelled, “Look Logan is holding Quentin’s hand! That’s so gay!”

It felt as though someone threw a rock at my fairytale and the mirrors of reality came tumbling down. Logan dropped his hand immediately and I held my hand out like a fool. The tears burned my eyes and the words “that’s so gay” played in my head like a song you couldn’t get out of your head. I watched Logan walk away through a blurred lense and thought “end scene.” I closed my eyes to clear my vision.

When I opened them, I gasped. Logan had just punched the boy that verbally harassed us. I collapsed on my knees and began to sob. The tears that streamed down my face felt different this time. I was on the borders of the overwhelming feelings of joy and relief. Logan’s kindness was the match that lit the flame within my soul. For the first time, in a long time, a fire blazed in the rain.