“I bet I can do more than you!” Alice challenged, almost dropping the stack of books balancing on her head.
     “Oh yeah?” I replied with a grin, adding another textbook to my wobbly stack. A group of kids were starting to gather around us, enjoying the competition.
     “Elizabeth! Alice!” a sharp voice rang out. “No more of this nonsense in my classroom!” Ms. Kerr strolled into the room in her huge high-heels.
     “Now shoo! Back to your desks!” The crowd broke apart, and students rushed to their seats right before the bell rang. My books fell to the ground with a clatter, earning yet another one of Ms. Kerr’s famous death glares. As I frantically picked them up, a piece of crumpled up paper landed on my desk.

                              “I still beat you! >:)”

I looked up and laughed, seeing the evil grin on Alice’s face as she twirled a pen in her fingers.

     The rest of my ordinary day zoomed by. My friends and I walked from class to class, everything predictable and in order like a stack of books, perfectly balanced. Sometimes I wish my life wasn’t so… normal.

     The summer heat was blazing against my cheeks as my friends and I walked home from school.
     “Ugh, why is it SO hot?” Rebecca complained.
     “Come on, it’s awesome!” I chimed in. “I love hot weather!” I said, spinning around.
      Alice laughed.  “Honestly, Liz, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a smile on your face.”

     We stopped at my house. I pushed the heavy wood door open and strolled inside, tossing my bright purple backpack on the ground. I wandered into the kitchen, looking for a snack, when I noticed it was oddly quiet. Normally my house is pretty noisy, with random pots and pans banging and people talking about a fancy new lunch buffet or some hilarious text from my aunt.  I peeked into the living room, where my mom was sitting with zombie-like stillness on the sofa. I grabbed some chocolate out of the fridge and walked over to her.
     “Mom, are you trying those useless yoga exercises again?” I teased. She was always trying some fancy new thing to “reduce stress” or “improve concentration”. My mom just shook her head and stared at the ground.
     “Ok, what’s going on?” I said with a mouthful of Hershey’s kisses.
     “Liz, you have a doctor’s appointment today,” She said. Ok, now I was really confused. “Come on,” she said, forcing herself to get up from the couch. I strolled out to the garage and hopped in the car, and for a second, I thought I saw a small shiny tear on her cheek.

     I walked into the doctor’s office, and that weird smell hit my face. You know what I’m talking about, that certain strange smell that only comes from a doctor’s office. Now, the list of things I hate is a VERY short list, but doctor’s offices are one of those things. I awkwardly sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting room. I fidgeted around, the eerie silence was killing me.
     “Elizabeth...” the nurse at the front called. I looked up and saw a nurse waiting by the open door, waving for me and my mother to come in. I groaned and got up from my chair.

     The nurse’s fake smile seemed plastered on her face. We entered a small room and I sat down. When the doctor came, he ran through the usual checkups, but when he was checking my heartbeat, I noticed a change in his expression. He tested my pulse again and again until he sighed and took a step back.
     “Mrs. Rogers,” he started, “I think it’s time to tell her,” he paused and looked back and forth between me and my mom.
     “What??” “Tell me what??” I asked, starting to get nervous now. No responses. Finally, the doctor spoke.
     “Elizabeth, you know what a stethoscope is supposed to do, right?” He asked as if I was five years old. 
     “Yeah, of course,” I chuckled, trying to find something humorous in the situation. “It’s supposed to check if your heartbeat is normal or not.”
     “Yes,” he started. “But, when I checked your heartbeat-” a small whimper from my mom. “It didn’t sound like it’s supposed to.”

     I stared at the ground.
     “What do you mean?”I asked. “Is there something wrong with my heart?” Still, no sound came from either of them. The fluorescent lights seemed brighter than before, that strange buzzing sound ringing in my ears.
     “Elizabeth, you have symptoms of a heart failure,” The doctor took a deep breath, waiting for my reaction.
     “What does that mean?” I asked anxiously. My heart was doing jump ropes in my chest. “A- Are you sure? I’ve never felt anything weird...” I couldn’t believe what was happening right now. I stared at my mom, expecting her to say something. She hasn’t said a word since we left home.
     “Liz, it’s ok, don’t worry,” she said with tears in her eyes. “We’ll help you get through it,” she said.
     “But, how do you know I actually have a problem?” I asked. Actually, now that I think about it, sometimes my heart did feel weird, beating faster than usual.
     My mom spoke, “Liz, we ran tests over and over again. We know for sure.”

     A heart failure?? Ok, I take back what I said earlier. I’d rather live a boring, normal life than have this happen. I don’t want my perfect stack of books to be destroyed.

     I walked into school the next day. The sun was shining, but I felt like I was surrounded by storm clouds. I slumped into my seat, not quite sure why I was feeling the way I was. Still, I tried my best to look happy. My smile was fake, my eyes cold. I didn’t joke around with Alice, I didn’t pull pranks on Jennifer. After school, instead of skipping back home with my friends, I waited longer and took the long route around the school. All I wanted was to avoid my friends, I don’t know why. It was almost as if I was an entirely different person.

     For my entire life, I’ve never thought of my life as “interesting” or “unique”. Whenever we had to share an interesting story about ourselves, I’ve never been able to think of anything. I used to wish something cool and out of the ordinary would happen to me. Now I want just the opposite.

     The next day, I was in my room working. The door was locked, and my windows were shut. Then I heard someone knocking on the door. I groaned, got up and opened the door. It was my mom.
     “Liz,” she said as she sat down on my bed. I flopped onto the soft blanket and grabbed a pillow.
     “What?” I asked, not looking directly at her. “You’ve been acting different the past couple of days,” she started to say.
     “Yeah, so what?” I responded, still staring at the carpet.
     “You have to learn to get over this,” my mom grabbed the pillow out of my hands. I looked up. “You can’t just let your problems trample over you like this,” she said. “Look, your life isn’t always going to be easy,” she stood up and pulled me off of the bed. “Liz,” she tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know who you really are, and so do you. You are the girl who dances in the rain, the girl who laughs after she falls. Now if you’re going to change that, I can’t stop you, but remember that you can’t let your problems change who you are.” I looked into her eyes and saw sorrow, but also determination, fierceness. She held my hand, and then turned and left the room.

     That night, I couldn’t sleep. My mother’s words kept coming back to me, “You can’t let your problems change who you are”. I wondered what that meant. No, wait, I know exactly what that means. I let one tiny little thing affect me too much. Instead of dealing with it like the old me, I changed into a different person, a person who would surrender to problems instead of fighting.

     At school the next day, I tried hard to keep my smile on the whole time. My real one. I fooled around, laughed, talked. I was myself. And I realized that sometimes, your books will fall. And that’s not always a bad thing. Picking them up is what really matters.