The Coldness of a Stone | Teen Ink

The Coldness of a Stone

July 18, 2015
By WritinGirl PLATINUM, DeKalb, Illinois
WritinGirl PLATINUM, DeKalb, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou


She brushes her fingers across the stone.

 

Cold.
It seeps through her hand, shooting straight to her heart.

 

Wet.
Her soft lips taste the salt of the tears that fall silently down her pale skin as she traces the name carved there

 

Final.

“Set in stone” means so much more to her now.

 

Weak.
She must be strong. Must be brave. Must be everything she never was before.

 

The past can’t get to her, the memories won’t control her—but as the sun sinks lower, sending its rays of soft golden light to illuminate the simple red flower leaning delicately against the fresh mound of earth, her face crumbles.

 

She will be strong, but the past’s grip on her is too tight for the present.

 

She allows herself to sink lower.

 

Down towards that raised bit of earth.
Down towards the bottom of her heart.
Towards the deepest feelings that only show themselves when what they feel for is suddenly gone.
Towards that silent, unmoving wall of invisible force known only by the ones it crushes.
Towards the coldness of the stone.


The author's comments:

I was listening to the song, "And then I kissed him" from the soundtrack of the movie Pearl Harbor when I was inspired to write this piece. I hope that you will be able to feel the pain she felt from losing a loved one. The pain I felt writing this. 


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This article has 4 comments.


on Sep. 1 2015 at 8:20 am
WritinGirl PLATINUM, DeKalb, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou

That means a lot to me, kataangfan1256, so thank you

on Aug. 24 2015 at 11:09 pm
ThrillQueen126, Seattle, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments
wow, this is really heartbreaking, yet also beautiful. Every part about this is so true, this made me so sad.

on Aug. 20 2015 at 10:37 pm
WritinGirl PLATINUM, DeKalb, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou

Thank you! Your comment means a lot to me. About describing her lover--I suppose I could. See, I wrote this piece originally in just plain old paragraph format, and so the way it flowed in that format didn't require more details, but I can see in this format how it might benefit. It would connect the reader on a deeper level, you're right. Thanks!

on Aug. 18 2015 at 6:03 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

This piece truly captures the pain of death and in a beautifully original way; the finality in the figure of a tombstone. I loved how concise yet effective each word you used was, especially in the beginning when describing the stone with a single adjective before elaborating what it means to the character on a more personal level. It truly drove the emotion of this home. And the ending! It gave me chills. As for suggestions... The only thing I can think of is to maybe have your character remember her lover's face or a few moments that were the perfect moments of their relationship? This piece doesn't really need it, but if you wanted to make the reader connect on a deeper, more specific personal level with the main character that might be a way for you to do so. It's always up to you whether or not you think it is necessary - I loved your writing as it is! This piece is beautifully written and melted my heart. Brilliantly done!