Growing up and letting go.

April 18, 2015
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Sometimes in life there isn’t a reason for everything. Things just happen; and that may be something parents don’t want to hear, but it’s something us teenagers understand. Who knew that one decision was going to break like glass into a million and one different pieces in every direction possible? It’s not something that we plan.. we don’t plan these heartbreaks or these fights. We don’t befriend backstabbers knowing who they really are. We don’t expect guys or girls to fall head over heels for us, the way we do for them. We see the smiling face, not the slithering snake. We see the sign but touch and burn anyway.
People are quick to judge. Society is a monster, with yellow gleaming eyes and sharp teeth. “Fitting-in” is the biggest problem we face. We try to be like-able, we try to maintain self-esteem and dignity. We try to keep our tears from spilling every time we pass that one person who just makes your stomach curdle, and your veins pop. We try to do the right thing, but end up doing the wrong thing. We mess up. We stay up all night hoping to God that tomorrow will be a better day.
  You meet the wrong people. You give them all your trust, love, and support…for years. After a while you just become so fed up with the way they treat you and you begin to distance yourself. They notice, and you receive absolute hell. It makes you wonder if all this pain is worth it. You question everything, but realize you don’t have answers to anything. Like why your best friend stole that guy you like, or why you forgave her. Or why you haven’t ended things with that one person everyone keeps warning you about.
  Feelings. They tend to override all sense and logic. You fall in love over and over and over again. With the wrong people, and even with the right people. But by the time you notice it’s the wrong person, it’s too late. Why do we let our feelings decide things? Sometimes we think it would just be easier if we were emotionless, then we wouldn’t be able to feel the pain. The pain of having to have your fingers being pried apart from theirs. Watching with blurry vision as he walks out of your life forever, for the girl of the night.
  But then we wouldn’t be able to feel the lick happiness, and how it caresses across our life in unimaginable colors. The way it feels to be kissed. The way it feels to be held in someones strong arms while your hands slip up their sides, and your head against their chest. You find that being with them is the most comfortables thing in the world, and you have no reason to let go. I think that the feeling of happiness is what keeps us, teenagers, somewhat sane. We search for that happiness with everything we have. And when we find it, we protect it.
  Staying up till 2am on the phone with that one person who makes you smile, and hauling ass to class because we decided to spend all of passing time with that one individual, makes it so worth the tiredness the next morning and the detention in the afternoon. We come home to the same screaming and chaos we tried to leave at school. So we escape to a friend’s house, or venture outside the walls of our bedroom. In school, every class is a joke. We try to pay attention, but in all honesty theres a hundred other things running through our minds other than what ‘x’ is equal to.
  Life is hard. We begin to get a taste of that, and try to spit it back out, but it’s too late to fall back into that fog of innocence. I kick my self for not taking enjoying  childhood as much as I could. Growing up, it’s a trick. It’s like seeing a huge, beautifully wrapped gift and rushing to rip through the wrapping paper. But when you open the gift, you’re disappointed. You don’t want it anymore. You don’t like how it feels. But that’s life. There’s going to be times where all you want to do is run under the covers and hide from the monsters.
  The best advice anyone can give you, is to let happiness find you. If I’ve learned anything it’s that happiness will find you. It all depends on how long you make it travel to find you.






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