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Truth or Dare
March 11, 2015
October 24th, 2014
“Truth or dare?” That was the first thing he said to me.
“Truth.” My response was deliberate. Safe.
“Who do you like?” Cliche. Overused.
“That’s a boring question. Ask a different one.” A smirk. That’s what he wanted.
“When’s your birthday?” Not a typical truth or dare question.
“June 14th.” He sat next to me. Didn’t ask. Just sat and ate with me.
“Mine’s December 14th.” We ate. We talked. No one questioned it. We sat together every day after that.
© Heather J., Slidell, LA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 14 comments.
KaiteysWritings BRONZE said...
on Aug. 19 2015 at 2:25 pm
I've read your other work and I really enjoy your style. This one is my absolute favorite. I'd love to see this become something more. :)
gracefulwaters SILVER said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 6:15 pm
That's so nice of you! I'm probably going to take forever to post anything new, so, I'm apologizing in advance.
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 1:43 pm
Ugh sorry my phone is stupid with comments, I meant to put everything in one comment. Sorry
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 1:42 pm
And idk if it tells you, but I signed up to have it email me when you contribute :)
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 1:40 pm
This is lovely, I think you are a fantastic writer. (And idk if it tells you, but I have it email me when you contribute)
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 30 2015 at 9:14 pm
This is sweet, I love it! You should definitely expand on it :)
I love the voice and the instant characterization here. You've captured a simply sweet moment, no fluffy descriptions, no useless obsession over deeper significance. It's the start of something great. I am already interested in these characters, and I would definitely encourage you to continue writing their story. Let me know when you do so I can read it!
I suppose my real issue with this is the fast pacing. It moves a bit too quickly for my liking. I also think that it's slightly unrealistic for someone to begin a conversation with "Truth or Dare?" and the other to be not confused at all. Perhaps I simply found this confusing. It's a bit short, is all. If you slow the pacing, make it less choppy, and add more after this event, I think you could really have something here.
RobotPenn. SILVER said...
on Mar. 18 2015 at 1:33 am
No problem! I like the diary idea. Keep me posted. :)
gracefulwaters SILVER said...
on Mar. 17 2015 at 5:15 pm
@CNBono17 @RobotPenn. : When I got the email that someone commented on my article, I was so surprised. Then I read your comments and this has been all I've talked about at school all day. Sidenote, I think my friends hate me because of it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my silly story and comment. I'm working on more, and I think I'm going to try to expand this into a diary type book. Maybe... Anyway, thanks again. You made my day. Week. Maybe even month.
RobotPenn. SILVER said...
on Mar. 17 2015 at 10:47 am
I'm intrigued. I really liked the line "He sat next to me. Didn’t ask. Just sat and ate with me." The rhythm of was nice for some reason. I'd love to see more interactions like it, in in between their conversation. It's a great scene, you should definitely elaborate this into a story. And let me know when you do! I want to read it. :)
I want to make this a longer novel type thing, and I know almost what I want to happen, but since I will be writing it in parts, I want to make sure it isn't horrible. Please comment to let me know if I should continue or not... THANKS! <3