Finding It

By
More by this author
More important than anything is to be mature. Be naïve and easily persuaded, but try your hardest to stay mature. Listen to your friends when they whisper that they really want you to be happy. Hope they’re not lying when they say they want to help you find happiness through “rebellious” young adulthood, even though you had absolutely no intention of finding it that way. Just promise me you wont think about what they’ll say when you start to find it. Don’t think. Act.

Never let your friends, or your short term boyfriend, Daniel, know how scared you are to find it this way. Don’t act hurt when they don’t act like they understand. Maybe there’s one thing more important than being mature- don’t let them know how clean you’ve always been. Don’t let them know you hate it when your mom cusses around you and drug use makes you nervous- even makes you snitch. Act like you knew all this before they came around. Unless you do, they’ll lose respect for you. Although you know deep down that one day you’ll lose your newness to them, and your existence as a novelty will end- you know because you’re only teenagers, that will make you unimportant to them. Even though you know deep down that next year they’ll have found someone different, stay with them. The last thing you want is for them to ignore you.

You’ve spent so many years wanting to be a teenager, and while your definition involves angst, and trading in choir practice and ballet for drug testing and black jelly bracelets- you still wish you could be that. At least your friends like this version of you. Why give that up?

The best course of action on your journey to happiness is not to be loud. Listen closely and make some jokes. Since you know some day your sense of humor will be old and “lame” to them, be as selective as possible. Be sure what you say is worth saying.

I hope you find happiness your own way- the only true way, and after you find it, simply send them home and if you can let go, maybe you can find someone new, because they sure will. They won’t even be very supportive if you try to find happiness on your own. They’d prefer it if you did it their way, but they’ll still try to be supportive.

They'll try.





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback