Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Firefighter and the Flame

More than I ever wanted anything, I wanted him. And more than I was ever afraid of anything, I was afraid of him. Afraid of what he would do to my life, that he would stumble into it and make himself at home.
He was the kind that moved like a river, overwhelming everything he passed through, putting it all to shame. If he ran through my life, I would have to learn how to swim, so I didn’t drown in all that he was every spare second of every day.
His love was the kind that shocked the system, shook you to your core, and just when you thought the electrifying was over, he would zap you some more. He sent a shock wave up your arm and shivers down your spine.
I was terrified that his lips would taste like honey, and I would want them. Sweetness would drip from them and I would be defenseless. Every kiss would be like that, and I’d never had that much sugar before.
His skin would feel as smooth as it looked, I’m sure it would. Like running your fingers across smooth silk sheets, the kind you wanted to wrap yourself in, and never let go. I feared loving his touch that much, I knew myself enough to know that with one grace of his fingers on my cheek, I would be useless.
His voice was like a gavel, conviction was in every syllable he spoke, but there was an air of tenderness that couldn’t be mimicked. When he spoke, I focused on his breathe, and I didn’t even listen. My mind was like an out of focus camera, it was all blurry.
I was terrified of falling in love with him, I knew it would happen if I let myself near enough to him. I would slip on his grace and fall straight down the crater in the middle of the floor that he left with each step. He wouldn’t catch me, he would watch and smile. He would let me suffer in his beauty.
And as I sat in a desk, making a list of all the things that scared me the most about him, he walked past me. He knew what he was doing, with his signature saunter, he was absolutely killing me. The closer he got, the more nervous I became, because I felt it in my bones, what he was going to do when he got to me.
The wind that he brought with him almost knocked me over, he stood over me, silently grinning.
“Meet me after school, in the parking lot.” He said, each word was like glass in my side.
“Why?” Was all I could say.
“Because I’m going to give you a ride home.” He was smiling, his fingers were resting on the edge of my desk, creeping closer to mine.
“No you’re not,” I whispered back.
His eyes were fixed on me, trying to read me. “I know,” he said. His finger meet mine, and I felt it in my ribs, a spark lit in my arm, and a fire spread throughout my whole body.
“Okay,” I said. I was gritting my teeth, using all my strength not to burst into tears or a rampant fit.
He scanned my face for sincerity, and found it in the corner of my right eye. “I’ll see you then, love.”
“I’m not your love,” I said back, confused. Happiness rose in my throat and I tried to fight it.
He lowered his body, getting as close to my face as he could, his nose was aligned with mine.
When he moved his lips to speak, I saw gold drop from them. “You are now.” He said, serious as ever. I knew it was true, every muscle in my body fought against his encroaching love. But it was too late, I was too weak to fight it, I was still scared, but it was of no use. I gave up, and let him have me.
I could tell he was scared too, behind the confidence, there was fear that this love would shatter the life he knew and take over, like a virus. But that didn’t stop him. His hand moved to my neck, immediately calming me down, though I thought it would electrocute me.
With his next swift movement, his lips brushed across mine, but not as softly as it may seem. His kiss was one that demanded attention, he was letting me know that he loved me, and that was that. He was branding me with the sugary syrup that oozed from his lips to mine, I was his now.
He pulled away, and it felt like he’d ripped my veins out directly from my under my skin. It hurt, so badly, I thought I would collapse.
I exhaled a breathe full of all the worry I had stored in my chest, and his love barged in and took its place, banging around my chest, messing everything up. I was never going to be the same, I knew.
He looked at me, so serious, he seemed almost angry. “I’m sorry.” He knew the damage he’d done to me.
I said softly to him, my hand crept over his and blanketed it. “I would say it’s okay, but it’s not.”
“It had to be done,” he said, trying to comfort me in my newfound turmoil.
“I know,” my words were soft, they disappeared after I said them. I met his eyes and smiled, for the first time, “2:30 then?”
His lips scrunched into a rough smile, it wasn’t as beautiful as it should’ve been, but it would have to do. “2:30,” he said. Then he turned around, and walked away like he’d just set off a bomb and it was about to explode.
I tried to control my breathing, but it was crazy. I felt the waves of him settle in the center of my body, he was there, and he was there to stay. The water was clear and cool and as wet as water is. I wasn’t drowning, to my surprise. I was floating, held above the current like I had on a life jacket. I did no work, his love just held me there, strong and sure.
It was never the same. Everything revolved around him, he was the wind, pushing me wherever I needed to go. A smile spread across my face, and he caught it from across the room. But he didn’t smile back, he knew this was going to be fierce, hot to the touch, dangerous love. But he was ready, and I was too. The flames were spreading, and all we could do from that moment on, was watch it attack anything and destroy everything.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback