The Truth Revealed in Spring | Teen Ink

The Truth Revealed in Spring

December 6, 2013
By ChandaMan GOLD, Grandview, Texas
ChandaMan GOLD, Grandview, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Steven had to get out of the house, he just couldn't stand to see his dad hit his mom like that. It also bothered him that he couldn't bring his father justice. He ran out the door and into the harsh winter weather.
He picked up his bike from the snow covered ground and brushed off the seat. He mounted it and looked off into the distance, dreaming that him and his mom could just ride away as far as they could. Dreams are hard to make true when your nine though.
He put his feet on the pedals and pushed off, having to stand while he rode to be able to plow through the snow. He rode up halfway to the old tree, his home away from home.
The tree had been his refuge all these years, he had even built a small house among the branches . Every time he had to escape reality for a little while he rode to it.
Almost there he began to pedal faster being extra cautious to avoid the frozen pond between him and his sanctuary. Peadaling, he rode on. Until he had to swerve to avoid a stump from a tree that had been recently cut down by his father in a spurt of rage.
He was thrown from his path and his bike as he slid across the icy pond. Heart beating furiously he began to stand slowly. The ice screamed in pain from beneath his weight, little cracks appearing all around him. One foot in front of the other he moved towards the edge. He grew closer and closer, until the ice fell from beneath his feet.
Flailing, he tried to get out, but he began to sink. He could feel an icy grip around his body. Looking up he could see his sanctuary, and in his last thoughts he fantisized. He thought about him and his mom, going to safe place to live without the shouts of his father. He thought about how she smiled, and sang, and danced. He thought about how much he loved her and how much she loved him. Then he drifted away as he thought about how she was going to miss him.
He sat at the bottom of the pond until spring took over, and they found him.



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This article has 2 comments.


ChandaMan GOLD said...
on Dec. 26 2013 at 12:07 am
ChandaMan GOLD, Grandview, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Well thank you for a good response. Also I usually go into good detail but lately all my stories have been pieced together in a few minutes not giving me much time to expand.

on Dec. 25 2013 at 12:45 pm
JulePearl BRONZE, Harlingen, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Good work! You did a wonderful job setting the mood of the story as well as portraying the little nine year olds emotions. Good work on the content of the story also. I love how this story shows the reality of some childrens' situations with child abuse, and doesn't try to sugarcoat it. The ending was a total shocker to me, which added to the overall appeal of the story. On a side note, I think you could add a few more descriptive details to your story, just so that the reader can really enter into the scene. Really liked when you said "The ice screamed in pain from beneath his weight." Great use of personification! Thanks for the great read! I really enjoyed it.