Aether
Faster. I have to go faster. If I go faster than maybe I’ll there. I don’t know where there is, but somewhere.
So I go faster. And faster. I run until my legs burn. And then faster. I’ll never stop. I can’t stop. If I stop then something bad will happen. I don’t know what. But something.
I am running down the block. Mom calls me back. I don’t go. Instead, I run faster. I know she can’t catch me. No one can run as fast as me. Only dad.
When I was little I believed that if I ran fast enough, I would get to Aether. I didn’t know what it would be like there. All I knew is that no one would be able to get there. Only me. And dad.
“Come on Pips.” Dad smiles at me. “You’ll never get anywhere if you’re that slow.” He’s far ahead of me. So I run faster, trying to catch up.
We ran together, trying to get there. He was the only grown up who believed me when I told him about my magical place. He told me he also tried to get there. He called it Aether. He said that the only time to get there was the exact moment of sunset. And if we ran fast enough the moment the sunset, we would be there.
“Dad, wait up.” I try to run as fast as him. He slows down just enough for me to catch up to him. We laugh as we run together.
Every summer I take a train up to the beach and run, trying to get to Aether. That’s where dad and I ran together when I was little. This time I have to get there. This time I really have to get away.
“DAD!” I scream. I can’t see him. I’m running, trying to find him. I can’t see him. “DADDY!” I run faster. “Answer me.” I can’t hear him. “Please”. He doesn’t answer.
So I run. And run. Faster. And faster. But I'm not running fast enough. The sun is starting to sink. I keep running. The lower the sun gets the faster I go.
“DAD!” I scream for him. “Why wont you answer me.”
The sun is almost gone. I keep running. I have to get there.
I think I see him. He’s smiling at me.
The sun sets.
Where is he?
Everyone is talking. Everyone except me. They say words that don’t make any sense. Just a bunch of random sounds flying around the room. I don’t talk because there is nothing to say. Everyone is wearing black. Everyone except me. Dad hated the color black. So do I. He never wore black. Neither will I.
I collapse. Breathing. In and out. A tear escapes. Then another. And then another. I cry. “Why aren’t you crying? Don’t you miss him?” Linda yells at me. I don’t say anything. “Don’t you have a heart?” I still don’t say anything. “Cry.” I stare at the wall behind her. The paint of the funeral parlor is starting to peel.
“Idiot!” I whisper to myself “you stupid idiot.” And I am. I’ll ever get to Aether. I’ll never get there because it doesn’t exist. All this time I ran, trying to get there. Trying to get to dad. But I couldn’t, because it isn’t there. It never was.
The tears keep coming. The world is fuzzy; just a bunch of random colors flying around. One of the colors starts to grow. I don’t get up.
It keeps morphing.
I keep crying.
It looks familiar. It comes closer.
It's bright. Bright white.
I can’t look away. It's all I can see. Every way I look I can only the bright white.
“Daddy.”