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A Red Overcoat This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

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I’m at the bus stop, waiting, impatiently tapping my old red boots on the concrete to the beat of my favourite song. It’s sunny, but I forgot my glasses, so I squint to the point of not seeing anything but the fundamentals of the world. This place stinks of stale tobacco and fermented vomit, and I’m standing because the seat is covered in sticky residue that’s probably a combination of other peoples sweat and spilt lemonade. Cold wind sends fast food wrappers and coke cans skiting along the streets to eventually collect in drains and be washed out to sea. The sun is doing nothing to take the edge off the cold, and it makes its way through my sweater and bites at my skin. I should’ve brought my f***ing coat.

Over the road, everyone’s favourite café is bustling with locals and the occasional awkward tourist. People drink coffee and gossip about each other’s private business in confidential tones. It’s 9.15 and the damned bus is late again. I should complain to the company but I know I won’t. The sun ducks behind a cloud and I can stop squinting. I see Mrs Anderson across the road. She’s got a coffee in one hand and a huge white clutch in the other. Her high heels click-clack against the pavement. For a woman of maybe seventy, she looks impeccable in a huge red coat and matching lipstick, black scarf trailing along behind her in the boisterous wind.

She’s going to cross the road, and I put my head down, hoping she doesn’t notice me. I hate making conversation with old people about the weather. I look up when I hear the squeal of brakes, and I see Mrs Anderson flying through the air like a rag doll swathed in red. Then she lands on the concrete and I can hear the dull crack of shattering bones. The truck driver that hit her is getting out of the chassis, his hands over his ears, his head rocking back and forth as he runs to where Mrs Anderson is lying. I’m running too, and I think we both see her at the same time because then we’re both screaming at the destroyed body in the red overcoat.



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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

BrandalynBoothThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 16, 2013 at 3:10 pm:
This is really great. The imagery, tone, description and lenght of the piece really make it perfect for the plot conveyed. love it! 
 
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Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:05 pm:
This was a really good piece. I love how you conveyed the personality of the character in such a short amount of time, and also dropped hints about the person and place they are in. You conveyed the idea well, and it truly captured the idea that things can change in a split second.
 
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Calliashi said...
Oct. 17, 2013 at 10:43 am:
Another amazing piece! Your imagery is fantastic and you did a great job conveying what happened. A great read!
 
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ROYCEPHUSThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:04 am:
This is very good. Very evocative imagery. Congrats on the Editors Choice :)
 
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LaChouette This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 15, 2013 at 6:54 pm:
It's scary to think how quickly things can change in a matter of moments. I think you really captured the event and the change of behavior in the characters very well. It has a really nice flow. Great Job!
 
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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 8:42 pm:
This was so sad! It really captured my attention.  The wording was really good and the details were nice. It is a very well written peice. Congrats on the Editor's choice. :) 
 
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