Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

She Had Always Wanted To Fly

She was a beautiful little girl. She would run a round the garden, trying to fly up, up and away with the colorful birds that surrounded her, her dirty blonde hair whipping behind her as she ran. She loved to color drawings she made of herself, flying, singing, and being the happy little girl she was. Her favorite meal was macaroni and cheese, the kind mom made, right off the stove. Science was her favorite subject in school, because she loved to learn about the plants and animals around her garden that she enjoyed looking at and playing with. She loved her mom and dad, and the way they would tuck her in at night. She would call after them, once they had closed the door, “I love you!”

But somewhere along the line, she grew up. She started seventh grade and thought she was the coolest girl in the whole world. She needed to look pretty for the boys she liked so much. School wasn’t that important anymore. She hated birds. They were loud, annoying, and distracting. In eight grade, she smoked her first joint. She felt like she was floating, but for once, she didn’t want to fly, she wanted to forget. So, she drank. She drank a lot. But she never really forgot. She dyed her hair blue.

In high school, she lost her virginity to a guy she met at a club. He was probably around 25. She didn’t remember his name, but the next week, when she told everyone at school what had happened, she called him Simon. The next day people called her a slut, and a whore, but she didn’t pay any attention to them. In 10th grade, she stopped trying to get the attention of those around her at school, and focused on her lack of parental attention. She joined the “stoners” at school, but in all honesty, she preferred coke to weed any day. She didn’t like to fly anymore; she liked to be jumpy, happy and most of all, she liked to feel like she was on top of the world.

In 11th grade, she was barely getting through school. Weeknights turned into endless partying adventures, weekends were blurred. Mom and Dad didn’t matter anymore, and neither did their rules. She got pregnant for the first time, and decided to get an abortion. No one knew, except her best friend. She dyed her hair red. That summer, she fell in love. She thought he was perfect, marvelous, wonderful and brilliant. He turned out to be a liar. She decided she would never fall in love again. But that wasn’t a decision she could truly make, and she went on to fall in love with two other useless men.

In 12th grade, she decided not to do cocaine anymore. She lasted two days. Three weeks into the year, she got pregnant again. She had another abortion. This time, she got hurt, and spent two weeks in the hospital. She started taking the pill. Her hair changed to green. She applied to one college. She didn’t get in. She gave up on school, and didn’t try anymore. Her life was miserable, so she drowned herself in drugs. She blacked out for a whole week. She never remembered what happened during those seven days of hell. She graduated, just barely.

Over the summer, her parents decided to do something. They admitted her to a rehab center close to home. She lost a lot of weight. He body felt like it was finally free. She saw things more clearly. Her parents had always loved her. She should never have abused her body. Her friends were a terrible influence. Sex wasn’t that great unless she was in love. She really loved the taste of water. Electronic cigarettes were much more fun than regular cigarettes. She got sober. She didn’t smoke anymore. She never drank. She didn’t do cocaine. She was happy. She got into college. She drew, she painted, she sculpted. He favorite subjects were the birds outside her window. She made a birdhouse for them. And then one day, she remember how when she was a little girl, she had always wanted to Fly.



Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!




Site Feedback