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'I love you' he said in a voice so debilitated. Melancholy rang in those indolent words. His benighted eyes could no more shelter those redundant tears of dissipating hope. The long lashes fluttered them out to make room for more of repressed pain to be divulged and undressed. 'I am sorry' as he fretted, his hands maneuvered gently from holding my chin and embraced them into mine that lay lifeless in my lap. My pounding heart exploded as his quivering lips kissed my bare shoulders... predictably for the last time. He arose, sundered and walked away ....along with the setting sun. My speechless world strung into an absolute imperfection.



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Janelle7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 19 at 10:52 am
...speechless.... beautifully written!
 
lilredd7 said...
Oct. 19, 2013 at 8:26 am
wonderful... mesmerising and for a while quite suspenceful...lovely I beg you please keep writing.
 
compassion replied...
Jan. 11 at 4:21 am
I will always treasure your comment. You dont know how much it means to me!!!! Thank you so much for your encouraging words and genuine request :).
 
xxilybaexx said...
Sept. 19, 2013 at 9:09 am
Absolutely beautiful....
 
Silver2blackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:55 am
Amazing, very touching, emotional.. I can't find any other words to explain this__  Except that I am left speechless. 5/5!!
 
Songs_Along said...
May 30, 2013 at 9:13 am
why can't i rate it more than 5?!!!! sheesh!! it is so so so good!!! touching and beautiful!!! luv it! :)
 
DragonBlueThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 29, 2013 at 11:20 am
Amazing... And I'm a guy... What people don't realize sometimes is that girls do this to guys as well... But good job Compassion.
 
LiraDaeris said...
May 23, 2013 at 3:30 pm
I feel like this would be a lovely piece of a novel. Like that part that when you're discussing it with friends you're all like, "OMIGOSH I WAS CRYIN SO HARD RIGHT THEN!!!!" There is a long story behind it I can see, and this would make a good climax.
 
Riverstardust said...
May 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm
~It`s interesting and I love the words you use!! I wanna read more!! 
 
Valery5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 12, 2013 at 11:29 am
u have a way with words.....great job!
 
raymondpaulThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 12, 2013 at 11:26 am
this was awesome   :)
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 12, 2013 at 9:43 am
Dang, this is so good!! Your vocabulary is beautiful, I really liked this!!!!!!!
 
AugustSummerFlingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 5, 2013 at 5:49 am
Is this an excerpt from a longer piece that you're writing? Quite well written and it unravels slowly, with due deliberation and it's beautiful :) keep writing! N btw, how r u??
 
compassion replied...
May 12, 2013 at 9:50 am
Augustttttt i miss you! Thanks so much for the comment. They keep me going :P For now its not an excerpt but i may develop this into a story.  I am very happy you liked this :) I am Sorta, kinda, a little busy preparing for exams lol :P :D Sup with you?
 
CandlelightWarrior said...
May 4, 2013 at 1:53 pm
Beautifully written. Very impressed I was! Keep writing, and also great vocabulary! The words of this passage are absolutly delicious!
 
compassion replied...
May 12, 2013 at 9:44 am
Thanks candlelightwarrior. It is truly joyful reading your comment. Hope To get back to impress you  with more writes :)
 
lily_sings said...
May 4, 2013 at 12:06 pm
This is so bitterly beautiful, it sent shivers down my spine. Excellent work, keep writing.
 
compassion replied...
May 12, 2013 at 9:39 am
Thank you so much for you comment Liliy. I am glad you liked it :) I am improving bit by bit :P Sorry for not replying soon.
 
SunnyLuvsworldHugsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 4, 2013 at 12:02 pm
so passionate!! Luv it
 
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