To Make a Difference

April 2, 2013
By GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine


Fear. What is it exactly? We’ve all felt it: the wave of adrenaline, the shaking limbs, the pounding hearts, the increased breathing, the slowing of time. But…why do we feel it? Why does it overcome our whole soul? I’ve asked myself this question many of times. I have no answer. Do you?

Haha. Silly me. You can’t reply. Well, at least if you can I can no longer hear you. I wonder though…did you feel it? Feel fear on that day? Did your heart boom so loudly that you couldn’t hear over it? Did your breath catch in your throat or did it go so fast you couldn’t distinguish one from the other? Did everything happen so rapidly you couldn’t understand what was going on or did you see and hear with perfect clarity? Did you tremble as you stood there or did you square your shoulders and brace yourself? Did….did you think of me?


They say that your life flashes before your eyes. If so…what did you see? Did you see the pond water reflecting in the sunlight? Did you taste the tartness of the dew berries we picked as children? Could you smell the sweetness of those little white flowers and honeysuckles that grew around our houses? Could you feel my touch? Could you feel my love for you? Did you? Did you?

…Do you know that I feel fear all of the time? Do you know that I curl up on your side of the bed every night? Do you know I hold your pillow close and try breathe? Do you know that I can’t cry? I’ve tried and tried but it is frozen up inside of me. You know it was always you who could set my tears free. Without you they are locked away, rotting me from the inside out.



Why did you go sweetheart? I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you every second. I think of you when I see your shoes neatly placed by the dresser. I think of you when I see your favorite cereal in the store. I think of you when I smell your cologne in the bathroom. I think of you when I see roses. I think of you when I see that burn mark in the kitchen when you forgot to turn the stove off. I think of you when I turn on the radio and your favorite song comes on. I think of you when I hear an acoustic guitar. I think of you every time the news comes on and they give us an update on the latest story…about the man who was shot during a hijack gone wrong.



They say that you ran after the thief who tried to steal a running car. They say that you grabbed him before he could fully get inside the driver’s seat. They say that you pulled him away from the car and you began to fight. They say that’s when the gun was drawn. They say that there were three fired shots. One hit the car. Another hit a nearby store window. And the last hit you…right in the chest.

There was a baby in the car. But you knew that didn’t you? That’s why you probably stepped in. That’s why you gave your life. That’s why I’m alone now. That’s why I’m draped in black and standing here looking at all of the fake flowers that surround a marble stone with your name on it. Everyone else left hours ago, left when it started to rain. But I can’t. I can’t seem to move from this place. My feet have grown roots and are trapping me here. I can’t escape no matter how hard I try.

Fear. It is what is pulsing through me. It is what is making me wonder if I’ll be able to survive today. It is what is making each breath so painful and so hard to take. It is what is making me make these strange strangled sounds from deep within. It is what is making my blood run cold. It is what is making me shake like a leaf. It is what is making me unaware of the pouring rain and the crashing of thunder.


Fear. It is what made the child in the car cry. It is what made you react. It is what made the bullet enter your heart. It is what made the thief run. It is what made me collapse when I heard. It is what makes me wonder if you are disappointed in me for falling apart. It is what is making me ponder what you would say to me right now. It is what is making me get off my muddy knees and stand. It is what is making the tears start to drip down my face and onto my chin. It is what is forcing me to live again.

I think I understand what fear is now. It is the key to our survival. It is what makes us act in desperate times. Like when you saved the child or like now as I find strength to move on for the thought of disappointing you. It is what makes the weak stronger. It is what makes the crippled stand. It is what forces us persist.


And right there, always intertwined with fear, is hope-the only thing that can beat fear. The thing that can only be felt after one tastes the bitter cup of fear. Fear is necessary for hope isn’t it? Like darkness is for light, like cold is for hot, like death is for life? I think I get it. I think I know why you made your finally stand that day. Your fear for the child’s sake made you move, but you wouldn’t have moved it you hadn’t hoped to make a difference. Fear and hope need each other.


I need the fear of disappointing you to help me stand but I need your hope to support me. You have the fear that I’ll crumble but I have the hope to endure until I can see you again. I hope I can see you again. Do you think I can? Do you hope I can? Do you hope I won’t forget you? Do you hope that I long for your touch?


Have no fear, my love; I won’t ever stop remembering you. I will always love you.


Love. What is love? We’ve all felt it: the wave of adrenaline, the shaking limbs, the pounding hearts, the increased breathing, the slowing of time. But…why do we feel it? Why does it overcome our whole soul? I’ve asked myself this question may of times. I have an answer. And so do you.


The author's comments:
I believe that fear is a thing to help us take action. The fear of something worse to come makes us take a stance, but I believe that hope is the true heart of the ability to make a difference. Without hope fear would become too great for us to over come and therefore we would not even try to help. Hope is a thing of great power.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 23 comments.


on Mar. 22 2014 at 10:55 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thank you for reading, Kestrel135. :)  Your kind words mean a lot!

on Mar. 21 2014 at 8:03 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

This was an amazing piece of work. The repitition was perfect, and I loved how the theme of fear was brought in again and again while in the backround, a whole story unfolded without you even noticing until it reaches a climax of such enticing suspence that you are left holding your breath, even though you already know what the outcome is. The last paragraph was simply perfect. Since the theme of repitition was used throughout, taking the first paragraph and reusing it in the last - but not as fear, as love, something that is so similar yet so different - was amazing. This is really one of my favorite works. Really, it was deep, it was well crafted and planned out (if you made it up on the spot then I seriously respect you) and, well, no critiques. Definitely keep on writing! 

on Dec. 29 2013 at 3:08 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks so much for reading so many of my works, live_luv_laugh_inspire. :) It means a lot to me. 

on Dec. 29 2013 at 9:06 am
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 167 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

I like the repetition of words for emphasis. I always like it when authors do that. As KeepLiving said, it's very philsophical and emotional, and I like the ending when it talks about love. It's a thought provoking piece!

on Sep. 1 2013 at 3:09 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Wow, thank you so much!  It really means a lot for you to say that.  :)  I'm glad you like my stuff so much!!

on Sep. 1 2013 at 7:52 am
HeatherOlivia GOLD, Solothurn, Other
16 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All things truly wicked start from innocence." - Ernest Hemingway

Your thoughts are very philsophical and this article made me emotional. Your writing is extremely good and I love reading it. You have a way with words. The way you related the last paragraph back to the first one really made the story come together. My favourite part was your description of the tears 'locked away, rotting me from the inside out', very good description. I could babble about this story all day, it's just so good. 

on Jul. 24 2013 at 9:10 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks!! :)

on Jul. 24 2013 at 9:10 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks so much, Athena!  I'm glad you liked it!

Alizz SILVER said...
on Jul. 24 2013 at 7:53 am
Alizz SILVER, Cleveland, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 17 comments
Great work! This piece was very intriguing, and I couldn't stop reading until the very end. I also enjoyed how you wrote the story where you were talking to the guy who got killed. It made it all the more meaningful and emotional. Excellent work!

on Jul. 23 2013 at 10:32 pm
Stella_Val_Illicia GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad idea."
--Douglas Adams

You definitely made me think. In fact I'm still thinking... and thinking... and thinking... yeah you get the point. Point is, a piece that can make me think that deeply is remarkable, because usually (slight confession) the only thing that gets me thinking philosophically is the acknowledgement of my own cynicism, which is a rare occaision. Look at that! You also made me acknowledge my cynicism indirectly. You, my friend, are a genius :)

on May. 30 2013 at 10:11 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

I see your point.  Thanks for the insight. :) 

None0 BRONZE said...
on May. 28 2013 at 11:32 pm
None0 BRONZE, Bellevue, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Believe in the ideal, not the idol." - Serra

I disagree. Fear is an instinctual device built into our brains to detect dangerous situations and aid us in avoiding them (otherwise we'd all be jumping off high cliffs due to lack of fear).   Jokes aside, very good use of parallelism in this piece, but it gets a little repetitive after a while. Maybe use other literary devices for emphasis?

on May. 28 2013 at 9:33 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks, E.J. I'm glad you liked it so much. :)

on May. 28 2013 at 9:33 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks. :)   

on May. 28 2013 at 8:58 pm
BookNerd35 GOLD, Herod, Illinois
10 articles 1 photo 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say, 'watch me.' -unknown

That was really good. I liked how you sort of included the person into the story with all of the 'you's', Wonderfully written.

on May. 28 2013 at 10:21 am
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
This is an excellent piece. The story, the imagery, and the emotions all tied together beautifully. I can't find anything wrong with this story. Truly incredible work.

on May. 20 2013 at 9:53 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

You're welcome!! I praise only the best ;) keep rockin

on May. 20 2013 at 9:07 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Aww, thanks. :3

on May. 20 2013 at 9:07 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. :D

on May. 19 2013 at 7:20 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

This is truly amazing! I mean you have an obvious talent. Though it is long, the writing, and the wanting to know what's going on propelled me through the whole thing. Beautiful really. Oh, and congrats on the editors choice! It's pretty impressive. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I have only read two pieces of yours, and have accidentally fallen in love with your work. Keep it up my friend, and keep rockin


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!