When I see things, I panic. Frozen like stone, I grow steaming hot, my body drenching with sticky sweat. I'm super-duper schizo if you ask me. I tend to talk to myself often. I struggle to believe what is reality and what really isn't. Maybe I'm insane, I think. No, insane is too much. I'm not crazy. That's ridiculous. But, I supposedly see things that aren't really there. It's all a dream to me. It's a dream. All a dream. Either I'm being corrupted by lies, or it's all actually happening. I'm like a light switch, I flicker on and off. When I walk out in public, people look at me like I am a senseless joke. Like I'm just pretending to play a sick game of imagination, but really no one knows the fear I really feel.Schizophrenia is psychotic disorder characterized by loss of contact with the environment, by noticeable deterioration in the level of functioning in everyday life, and by disintegration of personality expressed as disorder of feeling, thought (as delusions). That seems to be just like me! People snicker and smirk when they see me. I always give an eerie scream when I see something that isn't really real. I always get a, 'Hey! that boy is crazy!' response or 'Talk about insane'. I haven't talked to my friends about this. The only person that could really understand is my mother. No one else knows about my shattered past and I'd like to keep it that way. Besides who wants to believe a schizophrenic like me?