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Feeling Connected

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He peered out of the window, through the lustrous two-way glass fashioned between the squared metal frame. He could see everything out at the beach, even though the rain-drops had adsorbed themselves to the inert material, for his imagination was boundless. This five-star hotel, the luxury apartment, a plain view of the beach with just sand and sea in sight occurred to him as the most comfortable thing in the world. Yet, there, in a corner of his heart, deep down, deep-deep down, he was relentless. He was breathing, yes, inhaling the air to the fullest, but he wanted to taste its flavors, to devour any odors it brought along. It was this moment, when his mind went blank all of a sudden, and he gripped the mug in his right hand even more tightly. Not letting the single drop of water escape his waterline, he brought the mug to his lips, and sipped the hot chocolate. As the liquid ran through his esophagus, he felt an alarming incompleteness in his soul. In these few seconds, his mind had paced across decades, and all his life had flash-backed before him. He realized how he had always upheld the banner of perfection, never allowing a room for mistakes, and hence parted from his family, friends, and the whole of the society who had failed to understand him. No one had ever peered into what he wanted - he had never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, but only to perfect his past, so he wouldn't repent in the time to come. But this was exactly what had happened. Shockingly, he opened his eyes really wide, and decided to let himself free. As he slackened the grip on the mug, the object flew through the fingers, dropped to the floor and 'crack'! All the fluid stains on his shoes, his pants, and on the curtains worth a thousand dollars.
'Ouch!' He bit his lip. 'Damn! Whatever on the earth is wrong with me', he murmured. But then he smiled, and the smile curved into a wider smile, and he grinned unknowingly. For the first time in his life for so many years now, he had shattered his idolatry of perfection, to achieve the inner satiation. A feel of being connected, a feeling of being a human, again.




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