My history classroom has turned into a soap opera. I’m serious, a freaking soap opera.
First and foremost, there’s the love triangle. I have history class with two particular boys, and the three of us combined have gotten tangled up in the world’s most intricate and confusing web. There is one boy that likes me that I do like but don’t like in that way who thinks I like him, and I have no idea how to make him think I don’t like him because I do like him but don’t like him in the way he thinks I like him! Oi, it’s difficult. Then there’s this other boy that I do like in that way, but I have literally no idea what he thinks of me because this guy flirts with every single female that crosses his path and I can’t tell whether it’s on purpose or not so any time he talks to me in a flirtatious way I can’t tell if it’s accidental or flirting just to flirt or flirting with a purpose, and anyways I don’t know if I would ever even want to be in a relationship with him which is really confusing because I like him, and yet do not want to date . To top off that particular heap, those two boys are best friends. Not to mention that the first boy did know, then did not know, then did know that I liked the second boy, and I’m pretty sure he’s…oh heavens, I don’t even know! The male mind is ridiculously confusing to mine, and that confusion is basically what sparked all the rest of the confusion in the first place. And then there are a few extra guys involved is when is essentially a freaking love scatterplot– there’s one boy who just sort of sits off to the side and stares at me (whether he loves me or hates me, I cannot say, but it occasionally gets creepy). Next the two guys who have hardly spoken to me, but still like me for my cleavage, and have made that fact clear; and my being a bit of a prude, I find it rather demeaning and obnoxious. These three boys are mainly extra characters for the audience amusement, though; the real plot is in the mind-blowing complications between the first two boys and me. Essentially, every single boy that has ever looked at me twice or that I have ever looked at twice is in that history class with me. Difficulties arise with group work, needless to say.
Now, let’s just take a look at the personalities of us three tangled-up people. I won’t bore you with complex descriptions, but you’ve basically got the weird nerdy girl who can’t possibly keep her mouth shut (me), the boy who makes puns with every other word and can’t seem to be assertive for the life of it (the guy who liked me), and the guy who is a major dork and flirts with everything on two legs (the guy who I liked). Sound like a soap opera yet?
And then you’ve got the crazy teacher and the mystery thereof. There’s an interesting story behind this, actually; I would say it’s probably the first episode of the second or third season. A little background: One day I was in health class, and I got called into the vice principal’s office. It caused me to leave in the middle of a guest appearance from the army, so I figured it must be important. When I got down to the office this conversation ensued:
“Hello, Chloe. How are you?”.
“Fine”. Blah blah blah boring conversations.
“Take a seat, and close the door”. Close the door? What? I did so, slightly confused. “So, Chloe. Were you at school on Monday?”
“Yes”.
“What class did you have third period?”
“World history”.
“With who?”
“Mr. Snicket”.
“What did you do in class that day?”
“We watched a movie”.
“And did you notice Mr. Snicket acting…strangely, that day?”
“Um…no, I didn’t notice anything”. I’d been asleep most of that period (sleep deprivation + dark room + boring film, you do the math), so obviously hadn’t noticed much of anything going on that.
“Ok. Can you please write down your statement here, that you didn’t notice anything strange? And sign your name here, please”. I did so, and then went back to class.
So that was the day that the Mystery of the Crazy History Teacher began. I still have no idea really what that whole thing was about. Mr. Snicket is about 80 years old, and I noticed he was just a little bit off his rocker from the beginning of the year, but he seemed perfectly functional. That Monday in question he’d been talking to his movie projector speakers, but just the way people typically talk to electronics while trying to make them function. Just trying to coax the volume up, you know. I didn’t notice anything unusual about anything past that; from what I saw while awake, it was a perfectly normal day. So basically, there’s something weird going on with, of all teachers, the very teacher of the class that hosts the crazy love triangle and all else! Not my English teacher or P.E. teacher or health teacher, of classes where nothing much happens. Nope, it’s got to be in history class, just adding onto the pile of complexities.
Those are the two most important ongoing plot points of the History Class Soap Opera. But of course, you’ve got to have some enemies in a soap opera. And my biggest active enemy in my school just conveniently happens to be the girl who sits right next to me in history class. This girl is one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met. Now, I’m not trying to insult anyone here (not on purpose, anyways), but she just severely annoys me! Remember the boy I mentioned earlier that likes me and thought I liked him? Well, this girl is convinced that we literally dated for a period of time, then broke up. One time I needed to borrow a pen, and before she would lend me one she forced me to say “The break up between *his name here* and me was a tragedy”. It’s quite annoying. Next, she doesn’t like it when I say what’s on my mind. Whenever I say the slightest thing about a book I’m reading, or homework I’m doing, or a TV show I’m watching, she calls me a nerd. And she means it insultingly! I have tried to explain to her again and again that being a nerd is not a bad thing, but she still steadfastly holds on to the belief that it is an insult. Her group work is atrocious, as well. Whenever we do group work, she’ll either copy my work and do none of her own, or propose her own answer (often wrong) and refuse to accept my correct one or proof thereof. The final straw came when she accused me of insulting her friend (a girl whom I have never spoken to in my life, I might add). I’ve heard this rumor being spread elsewhere, but this girl took it to the extreme, refusing to believe me when I denied every having even spoken to her. She is collectively a completely obnoxious person. Enemies? Maybe not the worst. Absolutely repelled by each others personality? Absolutely. Plus the other people who sit around me; like her, they are annoyed whenever I say something even slightly intelligent, and won’t listen to me when I tell them the answer but won’t do any work of their own, either. They dislike the fact that I speak with words that aren’t “yo” and “ain’t” and “lol” and chaste me for being extravagant with my speech. These people are some of the biggest idiots I’ve ever met, and not only that, but they are idiots that don’t accept anyone who is not also an idiot. I know lots of idiots that are great people, super nice and try hard, and I like them for that. But I somehow ended up surrounded by people who are idiotic, don’t try to not be idiotic, and dislike people who are not also idiotic. So of course, I have a severe dislike for them all; the girl is my main enemy, and the two other idiots are her reinforcement, just to remind me of the fact that I’m living a soap opera every day in third period.
There are many more things going on in my insane history class, such as the sophomore who’s been held back a year in every class and spends the period talking about his drugs, or the weird guy who pretends to have a seizure every time he says his own name, or the kid whose mission in life seems to be to annoy everyone in the least clever ways possible. But this soap opera’s main focus is the mind-boggling love freaking scatterplot, the Mystery of the Crazy History teacher, and the feud between that annoying girl and I, and the rest of my groupmates. Please, someone remind me to bring a camera to class tomorrow and make a billion dollars off the footage. All in all, I’m in for one heck of a year in history class. Simply put: This is madness.
First and foremost, there’s the love triangle. I have history class with two particular boys, and the three of us combined have gotten tangled up in the world’s most intricate and confusing web. There is one boy that likes me that I do like but don’t like in that way who thinks I like him, and I have no idea how to make him think I don’t like him because I do like him but don’t like him in the way he thinks I like him! Oi, it’s difficult. Then there’s this other boy that I do like in that way, but I have literally no idea what he thinks of me because this guy flirts with every single female that crosses his path and I can’t tell whether it’s on purpose or not so any time he talks to me in a flirtatious way I can’t tell if it’s accidental or flirting just to flirt or flirting with a purpose, and anyways I don’t know if I would ever even want to be in a relationship with him which is really confusing because I like him, and yet do not want to date . To top off that particular heap, those two boys are best friends. Not to mention that the first boy did know, then did not know, then did know that I liked the second boy, and I’m pretty sure he’s…oh heavens, I don’t even know! The male mind is ridiculously confusing to mine, and that confusion is basically what sparked all the rest of the confusion in the first place. And then there are a few extra guys involved is when is essentially a freaking love scatterplot– there’s one boy who just sort of sits off to the side and stares at me (whether he loves me or hates me, I cannot say, but it occasionally gets creepy). Next the two guys who have hardly spoken to me, but still like me for my cleavage, and have made that fact clear; and my being a bit of a prude, I find it rather demeaning and obnoxious. These three boys are mainly extra characters for the audience amusement, though; the real plot is in the mind-blowing complications between the first two boys and me. Essentially, every single boy that has ever looked at me twice or that I have ever looked at twice is in that history class with me. Difficulties arise with group work, needless to say.
Now, let’s just take a look at the personalities of us three tangled-up people. I won’t bore you with complex descriptions, but you’ve basically got the weird nerdy girl who can’t possibly keep her mouth shut (me), the boy who makes puns with every other word and can’t seem to be assertive for the life of it (the guy who liked me), and the guy who is a major dork and flirts with everything on two legs (the guy who I liked). Sound like a soap opera yet?
And then you’ve got the crazy teacher and the mystery thereof. There’s an interesting story behind this, actually; I would say it’s probably the first episode of the second or third season. A little background: One day I was in health class, and I got called into the vice principal’s office. It caused me to leave in the middle of a guest appearance from the army, so I figured it must be important. When I got down to the office this conversation ensued:
“Hello, Chloe. How are you?”.
“Fine”. Blah blah blah boring conversations.
“Take a seat, and close the door”. Close the door? What? I did so, slightly confused. “So, Chloe. Were you at school on Monday?”
“Yes”.
“What class did you have third period?”
“World history”.
“With who?”
“Mr. Snicket”.
“What did you do in class that day?”
“We watched a movie”.
“And did you notice Mr. Snicket acting…strangely, that day?”
“Um…no, I didn’t notice anything”. I’d been asleep most of that period (sleep deprivation + dark room + boring film, you do the math), so obviously hadn’t noticed much of anything going on that.
“Ok. Can you please write down your statement here, that you didn’t notice anything strange? And sign your name here, please”. I did so, and then went back to class.
So that was the day that the Mystery of the Crazy History Teacher began. I still have no idea really what that whole thing was about. Mr. Snicket is about 80 years old, and I noticed he was just a little bit off his rocker from the beginning of the year, but he seemed perfectly functional. That Monday in question he’d been talking to his movie projector speakers, but just the way people typically talk to electronics while trying to make them function. Just trying to coax the volume up, you know. I didn’t notice anything unusual about anything past that; from what I saw while awake, it was a perfectly normal day. So basically, there’s something weird going on with, of all teachers, the very teacher of the class that hosts the crazy love triangle and all else! Not my English teacher or P.E. teacher or health teacher, of classes where nothing much happens. Nope, it’s got to be in history class, just adding onto the pile of complexities.
Those are the two most important ongoing plot points of the History Class Soap Opera. But of course, you’ve got to have some enemies in a soap opera. And my biggest active enemy in my school just conveniently happens to be the girl who sits right next to me in history class. This girl is one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met. Now, I’m not trying to insult anyone here (not on purpose, anyways), but she just severely annoys me! Remember the boy I mentioned earlier that likes me and thought I liked him? Well, this girl is convinced that we literally dated for a period of time, then broke up. One time I needed to borrow a pen, and before she would lend me one she forced me to say “The break up between *his name here* and me was a tragedy”. It’s quite annoying. Next, she doesn’t like it when I say what’s on my mind. Whenever I say the slightest thing about a book I’m reading, or homework I’m doing, or a TV show I’m watching, she calls me a nerd. And she means it insultingly! I have tried to explain to her again and again that being a nerd is not a bad thing, but she still steadfastly holds on to the belief that it is an insult. Her group work is atrocious, as well. Whenever we do group work, she’ll either copy my work and do none of her own, or propose her own answer (often wrong) and refuse to accept my correct one or proof thereof. The final straw came when she accused me of insulting her friend (a girl whom I have never spoken to in my life, I might add). I’ve heard this rumor being spread elsewhere, but this girl took it to the extreme, refusing to believe me when I denied every having even spoken to her. She is collectively a completely obnoxious person. Enemies? Maybe not the worst. Absolutely repelled by each others personality? Absolutely. Plus the other people who sit around me; like her, they are annoyed whenever I say something even slightly intelligent, and won’t listen to me when I tell them the answer but won’t do any work of their own, either. They dislike the fact that I speak with words that aren’t “yo” and “ain’t” and “lol” and chaste me for being extravagant with my speech. These people are some of the biggest idiots I’ve ever met, and not only that, but they are idiots that don’t accept anyone who is not also an idiot. I know lots of idiots that are great people, super nice and try hard, and I like them for that. But I somehow ended up surrounded by people who are idiotic, don’t try to not be idiotic, and dislike people who are not also idiotic. So of course, I have a severe dislike for them all; the girl is my main enemy, and the two other idiots are her reinforcement, just to remind me of the fact that I’m living a soap opera every day in third period.
There are many more things going on in my insane history class, such as the sophomore who’s been held back a year in every class and spends the period talking about his drugs, or the weird guy who pretends to have a seizure every time he says his own name, or the kid whose mission in life seems to be to annoy everyone in the least clever ways possible. But this soap opera’s main focus is the mind-boggling love freaking scatterplot, the Mystery of the Crazy History teacher, and the feud between that annoying girl and I, and the rest of my groupmates. Please, someone remind me to bring a camera to class tomorrow and make a billion dollars off the footage. All in all, I’m in for one heck of a year in history class. Simply put: This is madness.
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