Sunday I woke up to a loud bang, and I assumed it was my father. I don't get along with my dad, so I didn't bother to check on him. Instead, I went back to sleep, only to jerk awake and realize I was late to church. Nobody talks to me there, but that's okay; I like being alone sometimes. It's a real pleasant thing to be so alone, yet so welcomed at the same time. You're surrounded by a loving community at church, but encased in your own thoughts and no one else. It's quite something to think about.
Monday was awful, like every other Monday. Monday means I have to drag myself out of bed and pray I did all of my homework. I never know what to wear in the morning, either. Do I have gym today? Where is my coffee? I came home to a black box on my doorstep; there was a bracelet inside. It's from him, for my birthday. My parents forgot, but I don't care much anymore. Besides, it isn't that lovely; red and light blue beads. I guess it's the thought that counts.
Tuesday brought no joy. The weekend seemed centuries away, and I had an orthodontist appointment after school. I hate braces. They make me look like a little girl. Why doesn't Katie have to wear braces? Katie gets to be thin, pretty and popular, and I am just a depressed mess. The only thing Katie and I share in common is that we are both dating juniors. Meanwhile, her and her boyfriend are "cute", "adorable" and "quirky", and I am labeled as the "wh*re". People make no sense sometimes.
Wednesday was the worst. I forgot to study for a test and I am almost positive I failed. It's unfortunate because I plan on becoming a doctor when I am older, and doctors don't get failing grades. I also ate at lunch for the first time in a while. Why am I so fat? I couldn't stop wondering this until the doorbell rang later that day. He was here, with a new haircut and a black sweatshirt that smelled like rain. God, he was beautiful. I was going to thank him for the gift, but he just enveloped me in his lips and I forgot to say it.
Thursday was boring. I had drama club after school - and a sore throat - so I couldn't sing. I was right about the quiz, too, with a whopping 63 percent. What’s the point of trying anymore? I spilt some juice on my favorite shirt, too. It was the only one that looked right with my black hair, and now it is ruined and can’t be bleached out. Can I do anything right?
Friday usually is a happy day, but it was depressing. I changed my outfit about 12 times, and I was in a bad mood when the thin-as-a-rail girl sat next to me in her skinny jeans. Why can’t I look like that?
The school's Halloween dance was later that night, and I dressed up as a vampire. All the other girls were dressed as princesses, cheerleaders, and kittens. The costume was the least embarrassing, though. I didn't know any of the music. All the songs were loud, electronic and similar. The DJ took requests from a bunch of cheerleader girls, but he refused to play the song I wanted. I'm not sure if it was because I was dressed like a vampire, or the fact that I asked for The Rolling Stones.
Saturday I woke up late, with a rumbling in my stomach that I could not handle any longer. I bought lunch for myself and sat alone in a little red booth at the mall. I pondered over tests and grades and fall, and boys and friends and kissing and weight. I threw out the soggy sandwich and wiped my lips. Life tosses me around like laundry in a coin machine. I came home that night to parents screaming at each other and a spider on my ceiling. He's a real intricate spider, with black marble designs on his back and silver legs. I like him a lot and gave him a name; Rex. No reason.
Sunday I woke up to a loud bang.
Monday was awful, like every other Monday. Monday means I have to drag myself out of bed and pray I did all of my homework. I never know what to wear in the morning, either. Do I have gym today? Where is my coffee? I came home to a black box on my doorstep; there was a bracelet inside. It's from him, for my birthday. My parents forgot, but I don't care much anymore. Besides, it isn't that lovely; red and light blue beads. I guess it's the thought that counts.
Tuesday brought no joy. The weekend seemed centuries away, and I had an orthodontist appointment after school. I hate braces. They make me look like a little girl. Why doesn't Katie have to wear braces? Katie gets to be thin, pretty and popular, and I am just a depressed mess. The only thing Katie and I share in common is that we are both dating juniors. Meanwhile, her and her boyfriend are "cute", "adorable" and "quirky", and I am labeled as the "wh*re". People make no sense sometimes.
Wednesday was the worst. I forgot to study for a test and I am almost positive I failed. It's unfortunate because I plan on becoming a doctor when I am older, and doctors don't get failing grades. I also ate at lunch for the first time in a while. Why am I so fat? I couldn't stop wondering this until the doorbell rang later that day. He was here, with a new haircut and a black sweatshirt that smelled like rain. God, he was beautiful. I was going to thank him for the gift, but he just enveloped me in his lips and I forgot to say it.
Thursday was boring. I had drama club after school - and a sore throat - so I couldn't sing. I was right about the quiz, too, with a whopping 63 percent. What’s the point of trying anymore? I spilt some juice on my favorite shirt, too. It was the only one that looked right with my black hair, and now it is ruined and can’t be bleached out. Can I do anything right?
Friday usually is a happy day, but it was depressing. I changed my outfit about 12 times, and I was in a bad mood when the thin-as-a-rail girl sat next to me in her skinny jeans. Why can’t I look like that?
The school's Halloween dance was later that night, and I dressed up as a vampire. All the other girls were dressed as princesses, cheerleaders, and kittens. The costume was the least embarrassing, though. I didn't know any of the music. All the songs were loud, electronic and similar. The DJ took requests from a bunch of cheerleader girls, but he refused to play the song I wanted. I'm not sure if it was because I was dressed like a vampire, or the fact that I asked for The Rolling Stones.
Saturday I woke up late, with a rumbling in my stomach that I could not handle any longer. I bought lunch for myself and sat alone in a little red booth at the mall. I pondered over tests and grades and fall, and boys and friends and kissing and weight. I threw out the soggy sandwich and wiped my lips. Life tosses me around like laundry in a coin machine. I came home that night to parents screaming at each other and a spider on my ceiling. He's a real intricate spider, with black marble designs on his back and silver legs. I like him a lot and gave him a name; Rex. No reason.
Sunday I woke up to a loud bang.
Post a Comment
Be the first to comment on this article!