I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe because it’s too easy. I can’t, I won’t. I won’t throw my life away in false hopes that I can escape death, that someone loves me. No one loves me, no one. They never have, never will. Why would God love me? I didn’t do anything, He doesn’t even know me…
I don’t believe in God because I’m not a nice person. In school I made bad grades and dropped out when I reached high school. Couldn’t afford college, couldn’t get a job. I’m the part-time janitor at a night club in town; I live in a beat-up house I can’t even afford. Dumped my girlfriend ‘cause I felt like it. I didn’t have a reason, I just didn’t want the responsibilities. Yeah, I’ve got drinking problems, I smoke too much, and, let’s face it, I’m kinda lazy. But life is tiring. What’s the point, really? I don’t believe in God because I’ve dirtied up His world. I was just hanging out with the wrong friends at the wrong time in the wrong place. From littering to graffiti…I’ve done it.
I don’t believe in God because I hurt His creatures. Annoying strays keep showing up at my door. How I deal with them? Let’s just say the rifle above the fireplace has been used quite a lot lately. Oh, and a hit and run? Several times…hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. Just last month I heard my dad passed away from cancer. I didn’t go to the funeral. He never cared for me, why should I care for him? I couldn’t go. I stayed home and watched TV, but I couldn’t stop the thought from crossing my mind… where is he now? He didn’t trust God either. My mom’s off real bad now that he’s gone. She called, asking for me to come and just be there for her. Begged me. But why should I? I don’t feel like it. She never wanted me when I needed her. She just shoved me away. And now that she needs me, I just return her favor.
I don’t believe in God because I lie. A gentleman the other day asked if I had seen his lost wallet. Old man, I was the one who stole your wallet! Times are harder for me than they are for you, so get over it. That little girl was stupid, too. Asked if I had seen her dog and showed me a picture. Disposed of the mutt just that morning. Stupid, stupid, stupid people. So believing. So mislead. So wrong.
I don’t believe in God because it’s just too easy. All my life, everything’s been hard. Everyone I ever met told me anything worth doing would be hard. Life is not easy. The important things are the hardest. If the state of my immortal soul is important, why is God so easy? Why does He love me without asking for anything in return? Why don’t I have to do anything? It’s simply not possible. People told me they loved me. Dad, mom, my girl. Where are they now? My dad’s gone. Dead, without goodbye. My mom? She never listened, and now she’s trying to steal my life, money, and time when she knows I don’t have any to spare. And my girl? Where is she now? She told me she loved me. She’d always be there for me. When times got hard for me, and I made a mistake, she left. She didn’t even give me a second chance. I believed them. All of them. And look where I am now. I’m broken. Relief is always temporary. Eternal salvation is too good to be true. I won’t trick myself. I can’t live with the fear of that bitter disappointment. I won’t. I don’t believe in God because it’s just too easy. And now I’m broken. I’m lost, because I can’t believe. I can’t trust. After all these years, I’ve forgotten how.
I don’t believe in God because I’m not a nice person. In school I made bad grades and dropped out when I reached high school. Couldn’t afford college, couldn’t get a job. I’m the part-time janitor at a night club in town; I live in a beat-up house I can’t even afford. Dumped my girlfriend ‘cause I felt like it. I didn’t have a reason, I just didn’t want the responsibilities. Yeah, I’ve got drinking problems, I smoke too much, and, let’s face it, I’m kinda lazy. But life is tiring. What’s the point, really? I don’t believe in God because I’ve dirtied up His world. I was just hanging out with the wrong friends at the wrong time in the wrong place. From littering to graffiti…I’ve done it.
I don’t believe in God because I hurt His creatures. Annoying strays keep showing up at my door. How I deal with them? Let’s just say the rifle above the fireplace has been used quite a lot lately. Oh, and a hit and run? Several times…hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. Just last month I heard my dad passed away from cancer. I didn’t go to the funeral. He never cared for me, why should I care for him? I couldn’t go. I stayed home and watched TV, but I couldn’t stop the thought from crossing my mind… where is he now? He didn’t trust God either. My mom’s off real bad now that he’s gone. She called, asking for me to come and just be there for her. Begged me. But why should I? I don’t feel like it. She never wanted me when I needed her. She just shoved me away. And now that she needs me, I just return her favor.
I don’t believe in God because I lie. A gentleman the other day asked if I had seen his lost wallet. Old man, I was the one who stole your wallet! Times are harder for me than they are for you, so get over it. That little girl was stupid, too. Asked if I had seen her dog and showed me a picture. Disposed of the mutt just that morning. Stupid, stupid, stupid people. So believing. So mislead. So wrong.
I don’t believe in God because it’s just too easy. All my life, everything’s been hard. Everyone I ever met told me anything worth doing would be hard. Life is not easy. The important things are the hardest. If the state of my immortal soul is important, why is God so easy? Why does He love me without asking for anything in return? Why don’t I have to do anything? It’s simply not possible. People told me they loved me. Dad, mom, my girl. Where are they now? My dad’s gone. Dead, without goodbye. My mom? She never listened, and now she’s trying to steal my life, money, and time when she knows I don’t have any to spare. And my girl? Where is she now? She told me she loved me. She’d always be there for me. When times got hard for me, and I made a mistake, she left. She didn’t even give me a second chance. I believed them. All of them. And look where I am now. I’m broken. Relief is always temporary. Eternal salvation is too good to be true. I won’t trick myself. I can’t live with the fear of that bitter disappointment. I won’t. I don’t believe in God because it’s just too easy. And now I’m broken. I’m lost, because I can’t believe. I can’t trust. After all these years, I’ve forgotten how.
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