Eyes fell upon my figure as I pulled the jacket over my head, leaning against the cracked concrete wall, my eyes falling shut as the daily headache bloomed over my skull. Within seconds what's wrong's echoed all around me. Supportive hands falling onto my aching shoulders, attempting to pull me out of my sullen reverie.
I wanted to push them all away, yell out “leave me alone!” to them all. I wanted to curl into a small little still ball and encase myself into another, shutting out the world for good. And then I would cry. Let out all the frustration I withheld out in a pool of saltwater in my palms. All the pain and frustration that consumed my mind each night would be released and tided off for me to make it another day. But no matter how much I wanted to run away from this I couldn't. So as the jacket slid from my head and my eyes met others I knew I would have to smile and reassure them the happy girl they knew was still there. For if I spoke about the inner monsters that haunted my sanity, I would be taken away from this false haven and relocated to unfamiliar walls and false smiles.
It helps sometimes to believe you are not alone in this world of pain. You see the people walking down the hall with straight faces though they may carry shards of glass in their pockets, the angry red scars along their arms hidden by dark jackets and long sleeved sweaters. You see the people who have broken families, abusive families and advertise it, seeking love from anyone who will extend it. You watch each of these ladies and gentlemen everyday, looking you in the eye and seeing the fragments of yourself you hide. You believe that you are not alone. You know people share the same issues. And this is what keeps you at bay, keeps you strong enough to withstand every blow the earth can play.
I wanted to push them all away, yell out “leave me alone!” to them all. I wanted to curl into a small little still ball and encase myself into another, shutting out the world for good. And then I would cry. Let out all the frustration I withheld out in a pool of saltwater in my palms. All the pain and frustration that consumed my mind each night would be released and tided off for me to make it another day. But no matter how much I wanted to run away from this I couldn't. So as the jacket slid from my head and my eyes met others I knew I would have to smile and reassure them the happy girl they knew was still there. For if I spoke about the inner monsters that haunted my sanity, I would be taken away from this false haven and relocated to unfamiliar walls and false smiles.
It helps sometimes to believe you are not alone in this world of pain. You see the people walking down the hall with straight faces though they may carry shards of glass in their pockets, the angry red scars along their arms hidden by dark jackets and long sleeved sweaters. You see the people who have broken families, abusive families and advertise it, seeking love from anyone who will extend it. You watch each of these ladies and gentlemen everyday, looking you in the eye and seeing the fragments of yourself you hide. You believe that you are not alone. You know people share the same issues. And this is what keeps you at bay, keeps you strong enough to withstand every blow the earth can play.
Post a Comment
Be the first to comment on this article!