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Whatever I Want To Be

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I chewed quietly at my fingernails while I waited for the bell to ring, doubting I would hear it over the chattering of my classmates. As always I sat in the back of the room, away from everything and everyone. Where the could see me unless they turned around. I let my hand fall away from my mouth and looked down at my dark skin. Would I have to hide away like this if I wasn't black? I didn't think so. They say that times have changed but have they really? I can't walk through the school without having monkey noises made at me. I cant sit down at a table without people moving away. Private School snobs...that's what I put it down to. You see, I have a place where I go and I can be anything I want to be. Funny, smart, clueless-I can be it all. Most of the time though they just see me as the star though. Just yestreday someone told me I had to be related to Jamie Dwyer. Me? Related to the best hockey player Australia has ever produced...I wish.
'Hey Sarah, I didn't see you there...you just blend right in with the wall.'
Good move Sarah, I thought, you sat behind a black wall. I pretty much just opened myself up for that. I let myself sink lower in my chair so only the top of my black curls showed above the table top.
'Did you lose something Sarah? Sorry I think Africa a few door downs yet.'
A gale of laughter echoed around the class and I felt my eyebrows raise. They really were getting worse at the whole joke thing. I raised my head just enough to see where the teacher was. Typical, crying into her phone, every maths lesson was the same. Miss Ettles gave us a sheet and then she proceeded to call every boy in her contact list to find out if she really did look fat in her bright red boob tube. Why that women would need to know if she looked fat in anything astounded me. She was thinner than a stick! I was clearly not going to get any help from her.
"So where are you from anyway? Niger?"
Another roar of laughter rang through the classroom and I rolled my eyes.
"Well this is awkward...I am from Australia dumba**!"
Silence fell through the class and one of the boys closest to me stood up. His eyes were cold and cruel and his forehead furrowed.
"Did you just call him a dumba**?"
I shrunk further back into the wall and the boy snatched a pair of scissors up from the table.
"I think you need to learn your place blackie."
"And I think you need to learn to keep your ciggies at home."
The boys hand immediantly went to his ear where a small white joint was tucked behind his ear. He carefully reajustded his hair so that it was covered and turned back to me. He was pointing the scissors at me and he must have sensed my fear because he was smiling at me like a child smiles when she convinces her mum to buy her a lollypop. Suddenly a loud booming rung through the air and I jumped from my seat and was through the door in what they may have called a 'nigabolt'.

As I was exiting the school gates I had already forgotten about the incident in maths. All because of the boy with the lions mane on his head waiting for me at the school gates. We met with a kiss and he clasped my hand, his white skin pracitally glowing next to mine.
"How was school?" Thom asked.
I just looked at him and shook my head and he smiled knowingly.
"Well it's okay, we have hockey training now...and I think it's time you take Bryan out again. He's getting to cocky."
I chuckled to myself and walk down the road with him, now able to be whatever I wanted to be.




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