Reign of Power

May 20, 2012
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Even now, I hear her screeching voice shouting these words to me, “You are not perfect, and you never will be, but you at least have to try. No one can help you, but yourself.”

The age of four was the first time I heard it. Her face was as red as a tomato and I imagined smoke blowing out of her ears. I was dumb founded. Madly, I turned around, ran to my room, and buried my head in my pillow, tears streaming down my face. I sincerely hoped, “This must be a one time thing, she will never say it to me again.”

At the age of ten, I heard it again. I was so upset that I found one of her glass displays and shattered it everywhere, making sure that it could never be put back together. Tears no longer brang out my anger, but raging eyes with scorching flames replaced them.

A few minutes ago, I heard the same statement, “You are not perfect, and you never will be.” But, this time, I finished it for her, “But I deserve to be me. I will never be that perfect child that you want me to be, but, listen mom, maybe its because I don’t want to be.” I stood there, waiting for her to answer and strike the perfect comeback, but all I received was a nod as she turned away, knowing her reign of power had disappeared.

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DifferentTeen said...
May 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm
I thought that was pretty darn good, short, sweet, and to the point. It didn't go on and on, it let you know how it was. I appreciate honesty immensely, and for some reason I got that feeling. I love the unexpected reaction from the mother as well. Keep writing!
abonhigh said...
May 24, 2012 at 7:39 am
Really nice.. And yes, i would like you to elaborate the feelings a bit more.. You really are an amazing writer... 
Kaylie_Brown said...
May 24, 2012 at 12:39 am

this is really good! I've been hearing things like this from my mom for the past 2 years... so I know how you feel.. always feeling rejected, and not good enough.

Your writing in fantastic though, and I hope you keep writing... it really is inspiring.

StellaDPloom said...
May 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm
This was really well-written! Good job!
Lily B. said...
May 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm
I really liked this peice of work. It was very well written and I felt the anger you felt when your mom tod you that you weren't perfect. You are totally right. You inspired me and alot of readers.
torilutz8 said...
May 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Awesome idea and a good job overall. I would work on the intensity though, don't be afraid to make it really intense, that's what shocks people and brings out real emotion. Good job though :)
Atl.Braves03 said...
May 23, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Like the previous person said, interesting. It almost sounds like a spoiled young teen to me. You're not perfect doesn't have to be negative. It's true; no one is perfect. I guess what I'm saying is that for me, I have trouble seeing who is the protagonist and who is the antagonist. Honestly, I'd have to say that I side with the mom on this one.
M3156 said...
May 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Interesting. It's pretty good, but I'd work on the first paragraph, and put a more negative feeling in it because if that statement was said to me, and it has been, I'd take it for encouragement.
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