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I Am Sorry

I am sorry.
I know this sounds so……..cliché,
And who wants that, but it, this, is all I can do. All I can say.
I remember…..everything. It is so hard……….not to look at you and say …

“Sorry”. I am sorry.
For everything. Everything you remember, and everything you forget. Forgot. Wonder about. It is….hard…to say this, write this, and not look you in the eyes. Reassure you I’m not lying…..like I did. Like I didn’t.
I am sorry, for not being there. When you needed me.
I was gone. Where? Even I don’t know. How can you explain the emptiness in your mind as a place? All I know is, I was there…..and you, where here.
I am sorry for that day I missed eating subway with you. Who knew, if maybe just a sandwich could have saved you. Could save you. Save you.
I am sorry that I never came to that game…………… To that concert.............. That shopping trip............. That city............ That vacation........... That dinner.......... That party......... That sleepover........ That recital……. That audition...... That hope….. That try…. That failure... I should have been there. I should… have….tried. Something. Anything. To tell you that I am sorry. Is the only thing….the only thing I can do now. Anymore. Just say “Sorry”. Say “Sorry”. “Sorry”.
Maybe now is to late. Too late. Late. That is all I am. Late. Too late. Too late to…. save you. Always too late. Always too far gone. I am sorry for being too late. I am sorry for
That. For this. it hurts…to think…to think I was so close…so close…to being there…to saving you. And now all I want to say….is….I guess…. Perhaps…is that….
You are gone. And I…. am so…..sorry.




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