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Girl in the Mirror
I climbed the creaky, old chair by the windowpane. It was a raging, jet black afternoon as rain poured from the skies. With a rope from Dad’s garage, I tied a noose around my neck. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do. As it hung from the ceiling, I prepared to jump. I’d finally be free from this stupid life, no longer crying every night. I’d die and everything ended.
No one would care if I was gone. Things would just go by as usual. My parents are always busy, so they don’t have time to talk to me other than at dinner. Even then, the dinner table was quiet.
I didn’t have many friends. I was a loner in school, having a hard time fitting in. People would normally ignore me. The bad ones shove me around, calling me names that shouldn’t be said in public, bullying me because I was trash. Everyone despised my auburn hair, brown freckles, rounded glasses, and the huge braces on my teeth – I was the travelling freak show. I still don’t know why they treated me like this. I tried ignoring them, but I couldn’t help but feel miserable each day I went to school. However, I knew it wasn’t just my looks that made me a target.
I didn’t dare go online anymore. I’d just get spammed by Alicia and her girl group. They’ve been targeting me since I moved here and I don’t know why. Every day, she and her friends tortured me; they stabbed me with their words, and made me feel hated. I didn’t have the courage to tell my parents about what was happening.
Over the last few weeks, things went from bad to worse. It started with the names, and the graffiti, and rumours that escalated throughout the school - which branded me as a talentless, hideous girl who could be pushed around. I hated those girls. I cried every night and felt a pain in my chest every time I hear them. My parents knew nothing of this. What’s the point? They weren’t going to take me seriously. I just wanted to tear Alicia and her girls apart, bit by bit. But, I had no strength.
I felt weak; shattered. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I started skipping class, going home earlier, and of course, avoiding Alicia. I stopped eating and went to bed earlier than usual. My mom asked what was wrong, but I brushed her off. Now she cares. She left me in my depressing room, alone with a six inch mirror. I jumped onto my bed and took a long nap. Mom’s casserole was upsetting my stomach.
Out of nowhere, a miserable voice whispered in my head. “No one cares about you. You’re worthless. You think people will like you and become friends, hah! Yeah right!”
“Shut up!” I shouted angrily. My hands crawled up on my head. I started scratching my head vigorously, pulling out several strands of hair. The voices, the rumors, the lies all echoed in my head
“Hey look. The cow comes grazing back to school.”
“I heard she went and fooled around with the football team.”
“Dude, did’ja hear. That girl in our class had a one night stand with that nerd. I heard he paid her twenty bucks to shut up. Boy, what a kink”
Furiously, I banged my head against the wall, trying to shut them all up. Enraged, I swiped everything off my desk, onto the floor. One of those things was a box cutter that I picked it up and started scratching myself with - until my arms bled. Drops of blood splashed on papers and clothes. In the end, I ended up lying on the floor, littered with pencils, paper, and blood. Calmly rocking myself, I cried and cried until I couldn’t anymore. That was the last straw.
I got a wooden chair beside my closet and tied my clothes in a noose. I hung it where the light bulb shined and climbed the creaky chair. Tying the rope around my neck, a swirl of thoughts circled in my mind. I thought about my family and how they would react to my death. Then, the whispering voice returned.
“Just do it. Your life doesn’t matter. Everyone’s too busy to pay attention to you. They’ll just continue to bully you ‘til you’re dead. You might as well jump off now and end it.”
The voice had a point. It all didn’t matter. I took one last breath, the noose tightly wrapped around my neck. My heart pumped rapidly and sweat moistened on my head. Tears started to roll down my cheek. I’d jump on the count of three,
One… two… thr –
“Stop!” a voice yelled. “What the heck are you doing?”
Puzzled, I unhooked myself and looked around the room. “I’m over here.” I turned around to face my mirror. In the gleaming reflection, stood a girl with rich auburn hair, bright hazel eyes, and lashes that fluttered like butterflies. Her lips were a luscious ruby red and her teeth were so shiny you could’ve seen your own reflection. She wore a purple T-shirt with a peace sign on the front and blue skinny jeans.
“Who are you?” I asked.
The girl gave me a childish grin. “I’m you of course. Who do you think I was, Megan Fox?”
Unbelievable. The one word stuck in my head. From the naked eye, that person did not look a thing like me. She looked like one of the supermodels you’d see on the Victoria’s Secret commercials. She had my face, nose, ears, mouth, everything! But compared to her, I looked like a four eyed weirdo with braces, a face full of freckles, and maybe a weight problem. She was way too different, and she looked…. gorgeous. “Why are you - or myself - here?”
“To stop you from making a mistake.”
“Mistake?” I snarled. “This was the best decision I’ve ever made. You wouldn’t understand Ms. Pageant queen.”
The girl stared me with her sympathetic eyes. “Of course I’d understand, I’m you aren’t I.”
“But you’re different,” I said. “You look hot compared to me and… happy.” A heart aching pain attacked my chest. “You don’t know what I go through at school or at home. So just leave okay!”
“Hey listen –“
“Shut up! I’m done listening. Leave me alone!”
Smash! The mirror splits in two, shards of glass flew onto the floor. My knuckles started bleeding and the girl vanished. The reflection in the mirror splits into numerous fragments. They gazed in confusion.
Who are you?
I had a feeling that she was still here.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” she asked me. “Are you just going to let Alicia ruin your life? You should talk to someone, not kill yourself.”
I flung a nearby hairbrush, hoping to hit her, but no one was there. “What am I supposed to do?!” I yelled, “I’m just one person. I can’t do anything.” I sank down on my knees and began sobbing; a cold chill entered my body. I felt like I was going to die. She knew nothing about the pain I’ve experienced.
Suddenly, a surge of warmth melts the chill. Gentle arms wrapped around me as my tears stopped. I turned around to face that girl again.
“If you die, I die too,” she said. “You’d never experience happiness ever again. That wouldn’t be right would it?” She gave me an encouraging smile as she helped me up and back on my feet.
The tears dried on my face. The sun tore through the storm; stopping the rain and the rage. Dishevelled pieces of my hair were falling apart. My arms were covered in cuts and scars and my eyes were so red and teary; people would have thought that I had a hangover. “I look horrible right?”
We both giggled like little girls and for a few minutes, I felt like I had a friend.
“Nah, you look fine,” the girl replied. “With a quick shower and some makeup, you’ll look just like me.”
I couldn’t help but give a cheeky smile. “I doubt it.”
She hands me a tiny mirror she fished out of her pocket. “Take this. It’ll show who you really are.”
I took the mirror and in an instant, the girl vanished. I hadn’t thought about any of the things she, or I, said. I wanted to ask her more questions, but she disappeared. It was like I never talked to her in the first place.
I took a good look at myself on the mirror, its purple handle the size of my palm. Around it was a circle of sparkling rhinestones that gleamed under the setting sun.
I thought about what the girl said to me and stared at the hand mirror, showing a talented, attractive girl, beaming with confidence, who could do anything in life.
A new found spark of courage built up inside me. I was dead, but reborn. I wouldn’t take my life for granted. Who knows? Maybe it doesn’t suck as much as I though it did. I knew it would be a hard road down the stretch, but I wouldn’t give up.
It was 6.00 p.m. Mom usually cooked tuna casserole on school nights. I quickly took a shower and put the mirror on my desk. Going through the closet, I found and put on a purple shirt, with a familiar peace sign on the front. I snickered and ran downstairs to dinner; and a new start.