Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Disgust This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

I see her before she sees me. She's running, well, jogging, well … trying to get some exercise. As she plods along, sweat drenches her massive body, making her XXL T-shirt cling to every inch of flabby skin as it stretches tight across her heaving chest. Her face is agony.

My response is automatic, involuntary. Disgust.

I can feel it weighing down on me like a layer of slime. Her round face turns my way, and from two driveways away she knows it's there too, if not by what I show but by who I am. Who she is.

I am a seventeen-year-old boy. She is a girl around my age, without a slim waist, bouncing blond curls, and a tasteful amount of cleavage. There is an unwritten law that dictates two options for how we treat each other. I generally go with the nicer route and pretend girls like her don't exist. She knows the game by now, so as the distance between us disappears, she lowers her gaze, afraid to see it glaring back at her from one more person's eyes. Disgust.

I can hear her breathing now, suffocating, ragged, dying in her throat. She's killing herself, and for what? A better body? A different life? It is then that I realize she understands my reaction even better than I do. She feels it every time she looks in a mirror. Disgust.

Suddenly I hate myself. I have a frantic desire to take my filthy, fetid conscience and scrub it raw. I'm one more guy, treating her like just another unattractive girl. Confirming her view of men and the world. Confirming what she feels about herself. Disgust.

It's awful! Horrible! She is a person, not a slug to be stepped carefully around or squished for fun. I have to do something. Say something. Give her a smile if nothing else. Now is the moment, her head is moving …

She looks up.

I look down.

She notices.

I don't know what made me do that, but she does. She's seen it her whole life. ­Disgust.

We both continue walking. I finally get home and go straight to the bathroom, flicking on the lights and staring into the mirror. Brown hair, brown eyes, a bit skinny with a fair complexion. I see a normal kid. But that's not how I feel.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




Join the Discussion

This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

madds.1816 said...
Apr. 17 at 11:47 am
That was really sad, but also very true. Great writing!
 
alliperkins This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 6, 2013 at 2:20 am
I think this is written very well - and a great message.
 
shiva_saurus_rex said...
Aug. 26, 2012 at 7:41 pm
I really love how honest this writing as and also the great quality. Great job! 
 
wishingtheskywasbluerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:54 am
this is really sad, especially because things like this happen every day. its really really great.
 
wishingtheskywasbluerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:54 am
this is really sad, especially because things like this happen every day. its really really great.
 
Site Feedback