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Outside My Window (Ch. 2)

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First Day Of Middle School

Outside my window, it's a beautiful day; I see squirrels chasing each other up and down the trees, birds singing their sweet melodies, and butterflies hesitantly fluttering their wings as they rest on blades of grass.
 
Outside my window I see two girls. They are much older now, and their hair is parted to the side and they are wearing short skirts and sleeveless neon colored tops. They are chatting while texting on their expensive-looking cellphones. 
 
I just missed my first day of middle school. I must be the unluckiest girl in the world. I could have made friends and gone to class and we could have done homework together or hang out after school. Maybe I can go and make friends with these girls. It would be great to have someone to talk to other then my mother for the rest of the day. 

"Mother, why can't I go out and talk to those girls? Maybe we could be friends and hang out together," I asked hopefully. My voice was still high, but it has gotten raspy and it feels like my voice is weak. I feel fine though. 

She looked up from her newspaper. She had the same pain in her eyes from that day I remembered from so long ago. She lowered her eyes and then she turned to focus on her newspaper. 

"Because you are too weak. Those girls would get bored of you, love," she said in a stern voice. I was hurt by her words. They were like needles that cut into my heart.

I know I shouldn't be so selfish. Mother gets me anything I want; from hot chocolate to a new TV, she never fails to get it for me. Yet requesting to go outside was where she drew the line, and I should respect that. She's such a loving mother who spoils me way to much with gifts, so I should be a kind and selfless daughter in return.


But I wanted so much to go outside at least once.

I sighed at my hopeless desire, and held my mother's hand in mine. I never realized how pale my hand was compared to hers. She squeezed my hand in return. "Alright, mother. I know you only want what was best for me. I'm sorry I asked. It was a stupid idea," I said, smiling a little. I hope she didnt see right through my lie. In my head I was imagining myself cartwheeling across the damp grass and laughing with my new friends until my sides hurt, and then we'd watch the clouds slowly move across the big blue sky while talking to each other.

My mother interrupted these thoughts by hugging me tightly, and I felt her love. "I love you so much, honey," she said softly. As she pulled away and sat back in her seat, I started noticing how much older she seemed. There were bags under her eyes, and they were vaguely swollen. There were also grey strands of hair that stood out among the rest of her dark brown hair.


But somehow I felt that it wasn't because she was aging. It was as if she was stressed. Like she had cried herself to sleep last night.



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