“I said I’m sorry, Jamie. Will you please, please, please just forgive me?”
Hunching my shoulders further, I readjusted my heavy backpack and stuffed my fisted hands in the pockets of my navy hoodie. I ignored her.
“Jamie! Just stop it, okay?” Cathy placed her slight self in front of me, hands on hips and orange sundress swaying, forcing me to stop and look at her. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean not to tell you, it’s just that—”
I cut her off with a gesture, trying to focus my annoyance into every ounce of my voice. “No, Cathy, don’t say anything.” I glowered at her. “I know exactly why you didn’t tell me you entered. You were just afraid that I’d beat you by a landslide. Again.”
Cathy looked like she’d just been slapped, which was just as well. “Wh-what?” she stammered.
“You heard me,” I was really heating up now, “Ever since that art show I won last year, you’ve been jealous of me. You always have to be Miss Perfect. Even if it means sneaking around and breaking a promise.”
Cathy and I had been best friends since pre-school. She was like a sister I never had. We’d always been there for each other all through elementary and middle school. Even though we were as different as the moon and sun, that fact had never come between us being friends. But now, in our first year of high-school, it looks like that streak may be broken.
“Well,” Cathy sneered, obviously forgetting that she was asking for my forgiveness. “At least I still have a life after this is over. What are you going to do? Sit in your room and sulk? Cut yourself?”
I almost gasped aloud. She did not just bring up the cutting! She knew how sensitive I was about that. No matter how deep our fights went, she never sunk this low. What was happening to my best friend?
I mean, I’m not emo or anything, but I will admit that I do have some depression issues. It started in seventh grade when my mom died and Cathy had been the first (and only) person to know about my “problem.” Lately, I’ve been better at controlling these urges, but still, I trusted her with my secrets and now she was using it against me!
Anger swelled up hot and intense in my chest. “No, I will not!” I practically yelled in her pretty face. “But if you’re going to abuse my trust like this, then go ahead and be free of my issues. See if I care because apparently, I’m not good enough for my so-called best friend!”
I stormed away from Cathy’s emotionless face and quickly made my way down the street to my house.
I knew I’d regret my words later on but right now, it felt easier to drown in my own sense of anger and betrayal.
I threw open the oak door of our small, rented, one-story house and raced up the stairs as tears threatened to well up in my eyes. At least my dad wasn’t home yet. I couldn’t stand someone (especially my sweet daddy) seeing me like this.
Barging into my room at the back of the house, I threw myself onto my black and blue striped bed and let the angry tears flow.
Why? Why did she have to do this to me? She knew how much I loved art. And we’d made a promise to each other not to enter so we wouldn’t be competing against each other! She could’ve told me to forget the deal if she wanted to submit something in. I really wanted to enter, but didn’t because she asked me not to. I did it for her. And she betrays me by entering the contest in secret and winning. Winning! I know it’s a small thing, but, really, it’s like the only thing I had. Not to mention she touched on my sensitive secrets in a rude and accusing way. We were supposed to be best friends. Humph, some friend. I never want to see her again.
Eventually, my crying and sniffling ceased and I was left in a quiet house wallowing alone in my utter despair.
Suddenly, a glint of metal caught my eye.
I turned and saw a razor on my bedside table. It seemed to be calling to me, coaxing me to just take it and let all my problems slowly leak out.
I hadn’t cut myself in weeks. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just did it this once…
I was just about to pick it up when (thankfully) some hint of sense materialized in my transfixed, disturbed mind.
No. Don’t let this get to you. Don’t let her get to you.
Listening to my inner reasoning took all my willpower, but I did as it said and instead thought about other ways I could get a hold on to my saneness.
Music.
Yeah, music. It’s supposed to be soothing right? Ah, well. It was all I had so I went with it.
After a couple of minutes of scourging around my junkyard of a room, I finally found my trusty old iPod buried under a pile of crumpled paper and assorted clothing garments. I placed the black earphones in my ears and cranked up the volume to its max. Wiggling around on my bed, I got into a comfy position and hit “Shuffle.”
The song “Another Day” by Paramore blasted in my ears as I closed my eyes as I listened to the comforting guitar riff and catchy lyric of my favorite alternative group.
And do you ever want me, do you ever need me?
I know that you left before goodbye.
And it’s okay, there’s always another day.
Anytime you want me, anytime you see me
I don’t think you meant to say goodbye.
And its okay, there’s always another day.
I pulled off my headphones at the end of the song.
Now, I’ve listened to this song a countless number of times and I love it to death, but really now that I pay more attention to what she’s actually saying, I realize how much it mirrors my life right now.
I know it was probably inspired by some intense boyfriend break up, but, well, I guess I did sort of go through a sort of breakup. A best friend breakup.
And the lead singer, Hayley Williams, thinks the best way to go about this is to wait and be there for him. She doesn’t think he meant to breakup with him even though they had their past struggles. Cathy probably didn’t mean to bring up my cuts. Maybe it just slipped? And I dis kinda overreact…
Yeah, that’s probably it. We have been friends for way too long to let this little thing ruin everything. Even if it was mean for her to sign up without me, we could work it out and not let this be the lasting impression we each have of each other.
Feeling more confident about the situation at hand, I walked over to my computer hooked up to the wall opposite my bed. It was kind of old, but it still got Internet and I was not ready to talk through the phone. Even with my surge of confidence, I still was unsure on whether she would see things the way I did, and I didn’t want my voice to break if she was still acting stuck-up. After all, you can’t guarantee that everyone has listened to “Another Day.”
Logging into my IM, I checked to see if Cathy was online.
She was.
My hands hovered over the keyboard for several tense seconds before I braced myself and cautiously typed in 'Hey'
After what felt like hours but was probably only a couple minutes, she replied, 'Sup'
I rolled my eyes at the coolness of her response, like nothing was wrong. It was so… Cathy-like.
Just as I was about to type up a really meaningful apology (and probably a long one, too), Cathy summed up what I was going to say just in that Cathy way of her’s.
'I’m sorry 4 everything'
I sent back all I could say to that: 'Me 2'
After the ice was broken, everything came out so much easier. She apologized for not telling me about entering the art contest and I apologized for being so brash about confronting her. After all the apologizing was through, we went on to our old, easy way of just chitchatting about nonsense.
Just like old times, I thought contentedly.
'Hey what was the theme of that contest anyway?', I asked curiously, and because I wasn't as angry as I was before about her entrance.
'Oh, it was about what inspired u the most', she typed back, 'Guess what I drew!'
'IDK'
'U', was her simple response.
Just in that one letter, I remembered exactly why me and Cathy were BFFs.
'So', she typed, 'Wanta come over 2 my house now & c it?'
I glanced at the clock on the computer, 5:16, and at my unopened backpack in the corner. I could make time. After all, I was going to spend time with a friend. A real friend.
'Be there in a sec', I typed quickly before I shot out of the room.
No matter what happens, I will still have my best friend and another day to make things better.
Hunching my shoulders further, I readjusted my heavy backpack and stuffed my fisted hands in the pockets of my navy hoodie. I ignored her.
“Jamie! Just stop it, okay?” Cathy placed her slight self in front of me, hands on hips and orange sundress swaying, forcing me to stop and look at her. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean not to tell you, it’s just that—”
I cut her off with a gesture, trying to focus my annoyance into every ounce of my voice. “No, Cathy, don’t say anything.” I glowered at her. “I know exactly why you didn’t tell me you entered. You were just afraid that I’d beat you by a landslide. Again.”
Cathy looked like she’d just been slapped, which was just as well. “Wh-what?” she stammered.
“You heard me,” I was really heating up now, “Ever since that art show I won last year, you’ve been jealous of me. You always have to be Miss Perfect. Even if it means sneaking around and breaking a promise.”
Cathy and I had been best friends since pre-school. She was like a sister I never had. We’d always been there for each other all through elementary and middle school. Even though we were as different as the moon and sun, that fact had never come between us being friends. But now, in our first year of high-school, it looks like that streak may be broken.
“Well,” Cathy sneered, obviously forgetting that she was asking for my forgiveness. “At least I still have a life after this is over. What are you going to do? Sit in your room and sulk? Cut yourself?”
I almost gasped aloud. She did not just bring up the cutting! She knew how sensitive I was about that. No matter how deep our fights went, she never sunk this low. What was happening to my best friend?
I mean, I’m not emo or anything, but I will admit that I do have some depression issues. It started in seventh grade when my mom died and Cathy had been the first (and only) person to know about my “problem.” Lately, I’ve been better at controlling these urges, but still, I trusted her with my secrets and now she was using it against me!
Anger swelled up hot and intense in my chest. “No, I will not!” I practically yelled in her pretty face. “But if you’re going to abuse my trust like this, then go ahead and be free of my issues. See if I care because apparently, I’m not good enough for my so-called best friend!”
I stormed away from Cathy’s emotionless face and quickly made my way down the street to my house.
I knew I’d regret my words later on but right now, it felt easier to drown in my own sense of anger and betrayal.
I threw open the oak door of our small, rented, one-story house and raced up the stairs as tears threatened to well up in my eyes. At least my dad wasn’t home yet. I couldn’t stand someone (especially my sweet daddy) seeing me like this.
Barging into my room at the back of the house, I threw myself onto my black and blue striped bed and let the angry tears flow.
Why? Why did she have to do this to me? She knew how much I loved art. And we’d made a promise to each other not to enter so we wouldn’t be competing against each other! She could’ve told me to forget the deal if she wanted to submit something in. I really wanted to enter, but didn’t because she asked me not to. I did it for her. And she betrays me by entering the contest in secret and winning. Winning! I know it’s a small thing, but, really, it’s like the only thing I had. Not to mention she touched on my sensitive secrets in a rude and accusing way. We were supposed to be best friends. Humph, some friend. I never want to see her again.
Eventually, my crying and sniffling ceased and I was left in a quiet house wallowing alone in my utter despair.
Suddenly, a glint of metal caught my eye.
I turned and saw a razor on my bedside table. It seemed to be calling to me, coaxing me to just take it and let all my problems slowly leak out.
I hadn’t cut myself in weeks. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just did it this once…
I was just about to pick it up when (thankfully) some hint of sense materialized in my transfixed, disturbed mind.
No. Don’t let this get to you. Don’t let her get to you.
Listening to my inner reasoning took all my willpower, but I did as it said and instead thought about other ways I could get a hold on to my saneness.
Music.
Yeah, music. It’s supposed to be soothing right? Ah, well. It was all I had so I went with it.
After a couple of minutes of scourging around my junkyard of a room, I finally found my trusty old iPod buried under a pile of crumpled paper and assorted clothing garments. I placed the black earphones in my ears and cranked up the volume to its max. Wiggling around on my bed, I got into a comfy position and hit “Shuffle.”
The song “Another Day” by Paramore blasted in my ears as I closed my eyes as I listened to the comforting guitar riff and catchy lyric of my favorite alternative group.
And do you ever want me, do you ever need me?
I know that you left before goodbye.
And it’s okay, there’s always another day.
Anytime you want me, anytime you see me
I don’t think you meant to say goodbye.
And its okay, there’s always another day.
I pulled off my headphones at the end of the song.
Now, I’ve listened to this song a countless number of times and I love it to death, but really now that I pay more attention to what she’s actually saying, I realize how much it mirrors my life right now.
I know it was probably inspired by some intense boyfriend break up, but, well, I guess I did sort of go through a sort of breakup. A best friend breakup.
And the lead singer, Hayley Williams, thinks the best way to go about this is to wait and be there for him. She doesn’t think he meant to breakup with him even though they had their past struggles. Cathy probably didn’t mean to bring up my cuts. Maybe it just slipped? And I dis kinda overreact…
Yeah, that’s probably it. We have been friends for way too long to let this little thing ruin everything. Even if it was mean for her to sign up without me, we could work it out and not let this be the lasting impression we each have of each other.
Feeling more confident about the situation at hand, I walked over to my computer hooked up to the wall opposite my bed. It was kind of old, but it still got Internet and I was not ready to talk through the phone. Even with my surge of confidence, I still was unsure on whether she would see things the way I did, and I didn’t want my voice to break if she was still acting stuck-up. After all, you can’t guarantee that everyone has listened to “Another Day.”
Logging into my IM, I checked to see if Cathy was online.
She was.
My hands hovered over the keyboard for several tense seconds before I braced myself and cautiously typed in 'Hey'
After what felt like hours but was probably only a couple minutes, she replied, 'Sup'
I rolled my eyes at the coolness of her response, like nothing was wrong. It was so… Cathy-like.
Just as I was about to type up a really meaningful apology (and probably a long one, too), Cathy summed up what I was going to say just in that Cathy way of her’s.
'I’m sorry 4 everything'
I sent back all I could say to that: 'Me 2'
After the ice was broken, everything came out so much easier. She apologized for not telling me about entering the art contest and I apologized for being so brash about confronting her. After all the apologizing was through, we went on to our old, easy way of just chitchatting about nonsense.
Just like old times, I thought contentedly.
'Hey what was the theme of that contest anyway?', I asked curiously, and because I wasn't as angry as I was before about her entrance.
'Oh, it was about what inspired u the most', she typed back, 'Guess what I drew!'
'IDK'
'U', was her simple response.
Just in that one letter, I remembered exactly why me and Cathy were BFFs.
'So', she typed, 'Wanta come over 2 my house now & c it?'
I glanced at the clock on the computer, 5:16, and at my unopened backpack in the corner. I could make time. After all, I was going to spend time with a friend. A real friend.
'Be there in a sec', I typed quickly before I shot out of the room.
No matter what happens, I will still have my best friend and another day to make things better.
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