The Closet

November 14, 2011
By AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"


Bare walls surrounded a tired looking room. Lacie sat in the middle of the floor. Her legs crossed she sat like a stone statue. Her funny looking face filled with concentration. Her eyes filled with curiosity, her fingers itching to turn the handle before her. To stop herself she has her small hands crossed, her skinny fingers knitted together. It takes all the might in her small body not to open that door.

The door is green and battered. The handle has been turned by many different hands. That door is the focus of the room. A person’s eyes always go to that door. That door is water too the seed of curistoty that is in everyone. Although the colour of the walls and the people around it change, the door never does. It is always the same. It sees the young grow old, the old grow older, and it outlives people. Forever it will stand, the same. Because times and people change, but the closet does not. It is immortal.

She remembers the words her grandmother said to her. Never open that closet. People keep skeletons in closets. The secrets protect most live in closets. A closet holds the things people hide from themselves; one can ever open that closet door. Every home has a closet, in it are the cloths of loved ones who have passed away, it holds their smell, and it holds what is left of them in this world. One must ever open that closet door.

She remembers her mama. With her uncombed hair, broken nails and skinny hands. Those hands, with their protruding bones. Mama’s hands were older then she. She wore one big gold ring, it was out of place. For mama’s hands were old and poor, and the ring rich and new. How that ring would glint in the light, that ring was the one beautiful thing about mama. Her smell, of cigarettes and must. Lacie remembers the sound of her mama’s voice, harsh and cruel. Her mama’s pouting pink lips rolling stinging words. Those eyes. Bright Blue and as stony as diamonds. They burned in her aging face like a snake’s. An old uncle had died, how mama had said she wished it was Lacie. Lacie who now lay in the cold, cold ground. How mama wished it was Lacie who the worms would get. Lacie who would never again see the sunshine Lacie remembers what she said to mama, how she was dead to her, dead as can be. Laice did not love her mama. Lacie did not miss mama, know that she was gone.

Lacie could bear it no longer. She must see what was behind that door. She wanted to see the skeletons, the secrets, the cloths and the hidden. Her skinny legs carry her towards the door. It looms up before her childish figure. The door is bigger then her, stronger then her, older then her. In a trance she reaches for the handle. It is bronze. It’s round shape beaten out of shape. Lacie’s small, skinny hands can just about reach around the handle. It is cold. For a moment she pauses. Closet doors were not to be opened. Lacie takes a gulp of air, and then twists the handle. It’s locked.


The author's comments:
I wanted this to be about lots of things, but mainly about the things people try to forget.
This piece is one page.

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This article has 8 comments.


on Dec. 30 2011 at 2:09 pm
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

I liked this a lot, mainly because the closet door was locked. I feel like that tied the whole piece together.

on Dec. 11 2011 at 12:28 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote."

Definitely an interesting choice of subject matter. Some of the sentences are a little short and awkward, which you have ot be careful with because sometimes they turn out to the point and powerful, and other times their just well... awkward. But the ending was definitely a homerun, and that last sentence was perfect.

on Nov. 17 2011 at 3:50 pm
AgedYouth34 GOLD, Boone, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One must live the way he thinks, or else he will end up thinking the way he has lived."

I like this a lot- the symbolism of the closet and trying to keep things forgotten, like locking them in the past.

on Nov. 16 2011 at 4:24 pm
ThePhoenixRising BRONZE, Macomb, Michigan
4 articles 3 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
—Albert Einstein
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
—Albert Einstein
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
—Bill Cosby
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
—Unknown Author
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
—Pablo Picasso

Really good!!! Leaves me wondering :) Great!

on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:36 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

Another good one, keep it up.  I'm also with Emiri, the ending is AwEsOmE!!!

BluBliss GOLD said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 9:55 am
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
14 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bella's love for Edward was like, "Omg. He's hot. He's mine because he sparkles. Now I'll brood the wholle book while I'm with him."

It's locked. I love that ending. It's locked. I also like how you described mama; it was a really good and unique way of wording a description. And in that same paragraph repeating the naem "lacie" instead of writing "she"- it kind of set the...tone...mood...whatever it was.

on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:42 am
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

Thank you. You're right the 'the secrets protect most live in closets' that was a mistake on my part it's supposed to be 'the secrets people protect most live in closets'

Run on sentences are a continous problem for me as is the 'cloths' and 'clothes' thing, i am dyslexic and these things torment me. As for the last part i did consider that but i was conserned that the last sentence might be read before the last paragraph, and that would ruin the whole thing.


on Nov. 15 2011 at 6:59 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Okay, I have a bit of criticism.

1.  “The secrets protect most live in closets.”  I’m not sure if it’s just me, but this sentence doesn’t make complete sense.

2.  “Every home has a closet, in it are the cloths of loved ones…”  ‘Cloths’ should be ‘clothes.’

3.  “How that ring would glint in the light, that ring was the one beautiful thing about mama.”  A semicolon rather than a comma there would make more sense.

4.  “Bright Blue and as stony as diamonds.”  ‘Blue’ does not need to be capitalized and this is an incomplete sentence.

5.  “Lacie who would never again see the sunshine Lacie remembers what she said to mama, how she was dead to her, dead as can be.”  This is a run-on sentence.

6.  “It’s round shape beaten out of shape.”  ‘It’s’ should be ‘its’.

7.  “Closet doors were not to be opened. Lacie takes a gulp of air, and then twists the handle. It’s locked.”  You’ve worked a long time to build up the suspense, so I think putting the last sentence on a separate line would give it a greater effect.



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