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The Last Day of Summer

The two sat together in the empty plot just by the forest that lined one side of the large backyard. Between them on the red and white picnic blanket they rested upon sat a small portable radio tuning to soft rock, the only sounds heard between them besides the shifting grass and the calls of night animals that seemed to show their faces as the sun dipped down into the horizon.


On the girls lap rested a small wooden idol they had found after scavenging the woods earlier in the day. He looked up from his notebook in which he wrote song lyrics and into her emerald green eyes that seemed so hypnotizing; perplexed and dazed by her magnificent beauty, and he bit his lower lip gently as she ran her fingers through her long cherry red hair. The shadows of the trees danced and played as if the had a mind of their own as the sun said it’s finally goodbye before disappearing once again.


He adjusted the hat on his head as she tightened the scarf around her neck that she wore so elegantly, and he reached out for her fragile hand, taking it in his own. He never wanted to let her go or forget this moment. It was the last time to see her, and it would all be over the next day.




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This article has 4 comments. Post your own!

LaceeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 12:31 am:
Other than a few grammer mistakes, this was really good. I wish there was more to it though like, what were they friends or boyfriend or girl friend? Maybe, a little more back ground info to make us more attached to the characters. Good Job, though you should add on to this.
 
KrissyKarnage This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 8:15 am :
Will do! Thanks. I could use all the help I can get c:
 
Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 9:28 am :
I liked it. There were a few grammatical errors but other than that, it was cool how you left parts of the story up to the readers imagination.  The wooden idol... "it would all be over tomorrow," etc. It creates a lot of mystique and lets makes it different for each reader.
 
Erin M. replied...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 11:29 am :
love it!!!!!!!!!! nice peice is really good. you could fix some mistakes but other than that thumbs up
 
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