Diary of a Psycho - I'm Secretly In Love With You 7/14/11

September 2, 2011
By Anonymous_Me DIAMOND, Marble Hill, Missouri
Anonymous_Me DIAMOND, Marble Hill, Missouri
54 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is but a walking shadow."

~Shakespeare (Macbeth)

This morning, Alisa came back.
I tried to give her a hug, but she ran away from me...
''Alisa!'' I yelled as she walked down the hallway.
''Ohhh my gosh,'' she said, wary of what I was going to do.
''Hug!'' I said, chasing her around in circles.
''Ohhh my gosh, avoiding the hug, avoiding the hug!'' Alisa kept running away from me.
''Oh, come on! Why can't I have a hug? I haven't seen you in a week!'' I whined.
''Three days, Kristen. I think you should learn how to count.'' Alisa giggled.
''Well, it was like a week to me,'' I countered.
''Sure it was.''
''I demand a hug!'' I lept after her again, my backpack bouncing on my shoulders. I could hear my drumsticks and mallets clacking inside.
''Aaaahhh!!!'' Alisa screeched. ''Avoiding the hug!''
And with that, she ducked into the cafeteria.
''Come on, that's no fair! You can't go in there unless you're eating breakfast!'' I whined.
''Exactly.'' Alisa poked her head out from between the double silver doors and went back in after she made her point.
Defeated, I stomped to the 7th and 8th grade hallway to get ready for 1st hour.

Just as I was unpacking my backpack and grabbing my yellow folder with the flowers on it, Airianna appeared by my side.
''Kriiiistennnn...'' she sing-songed.
''Yessss?'' I called back.
''Guess what I read last night?'' A sly grin formed on her face, and her eyebrow moved up and down a few times.
''I know exactly what you read last night,'' I said, giving her the all-knowing-yet-menacing stare.
Her eyes widened. ''Stalker!'' she said playfully.
''So, what DID I read, O Smart One?''
''You read my journal with all the stupid poetry in the front.'' I gave her the smart-and-evil look again.
''How did you know?''
''Because you called me last night and told me!''
Airianna laughed. ''Yeah, but when I called you I wasn't done reading it yet.''
''I see.''
''Anyways,'' she continued, ''I've got a question I need to ask you later.'' Airianna slipped the journal back into my locker and skipped off to her 1st hour class.

The question she asked me later turned out to be in Exploratory Math.
We watched this educational thing called ''Numb3rs'' while Mrs. Kennedy graded papers.
She doesn't care if we pass notes, as long as we're quiet about it.
As a result, no one was paying attention to the movie - the entire class was passing notes.
Airianna wrote down the question.
She gave me a piece of notebook paper that said, ''Are you a lezbo? Just asking!''
''I knew you'd ask that!'' I whispered.
Then I wrote down, ''Bahahah, nope =)''
''So, if you're not a lezbo, then...?''
''Read what I wrote yesterday,'' I replied, and handed her my newest Letter To The World.
In it, I basically said, ''I'm tired of hiding. I've got half a mind to tell the whole world I'm bi. But you, stupid world, are cruel and hateful, and would shun me for all eternity. You know what? F*** you, world. Love, Kristen.''
That's the summary.
She handed it back, along with a note that said, ''So what I got out of it was that you're a lezbo but you still kinda sorta like a guy.''
''Getting closer... Let's try the two-letter version of the whole letter. Bi.'' I wrote back, and hoped to God she wouldn't go into Freakout Mode.
''Oh. I see.'' her handwriting was small on the paper, as if she was kinda creeped out or finding this really hard to believe.
''Please don't freak out on me,'' I wrote back quickly, and practically catapulted the note over my shoulder.
''Ow!'' Airianna whispered. I think the note must've hit her nose and given her a little paper cut, because later I saw a tiny scratch on the bridge of her nose.
''Look inside,'' said the note. It was folded up now.
I opened it, and on the top, she had written, ''Kristen this is gonna sound really weird but I like you a lot!''
I wrote under it, ''In a friendly sort of way? Just making sure, I had a bi friend once and things got kinda confusing a lot...''
''Oh so I've got competition?''
''XD No. I told her I liked her more than I should and she told me she was in a relationship with another girl named Danna.''
''But no, not in a friendly sort of way.''
My heart stopped.
So... Airianna is bi too and likes me as more than a friend?
I couldn't bear to crush her. But I couldn't lead her on...
I had to do something.
So I did.

''Airianna, listen... I've known you as a friend for so long I can't really think of you as anything else... I'm sorry TT.TT''
I wrote it slowly and carefully, so she wouldn't think that I wasn't taking her feelings into consideration and just writing something.

That is how Akasuna had put it, sorta kinda. It should work. I shouldn't lose a friend.

''That's alright, I understand,'' said Airianna's loopy handwriting.
''Thank God,'' I wrote back.
''But hey, I won't pull a Myers on ya and deny your existence for the rest of your life. 'Kay? =D'' I added, stopping myself from giving it to her right away.
''XD 'Kay.''

I sighed in relief just as the bell rang.
Airianna walked up in front of my desk, held up the notebook paper we'd filled up during the 45 minute class period, and said, ''Disposing of the evidence. So fun.'' Then she walked over to the trash can, ripped it into a million pieces, and went off to Art.
And I haven't lost a friend, because we were joking about the video of Japanese people playing soccer with binoculars on that Mr. Randecker played.
''This has got to be torture for those poor tall people!'' Airianna said.
''They don't look that smart,'' I commented.
''Well, hopefully not THAT kind of smart!'' Airianna's eyed widened.
That's when I remembered her sister's definition of smart.
S.M.A.R.T = Sexually Molescent And Raped Twice.
If I even spelled ''molescent'' right, that is.
I'm a terrible speller... Once, I kept trying to write down the word HOPE and kept putting HOPYR. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I was trying to write, ''Hope you're feeling better now'' and was concentrating on writing the whole sentence instead of one word.

Well, maybe I'll improve on my spelling, and maybe Airianna will keep her promise to call me sometime this week.

The author's comments:
I could not believe Alisa wouldn't give me a hug today. D=
Yes, that actually happened. In case you didn't know already, I put some of my real life in here, too. Just a little bit...

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