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Dear Kelsey

Dear Kelsey,

I wonder about where we went wrong. Why we stopped being friends. Was it you? Or was it me? I don’t know. All I know is that I miss you. I’ll never forget you. Ever.

I was 12 when we met. I still remember it. You were sitting in the class like you owned it. Which you did. You were a favorite of the teacher, gained above a hundred in History and everything. And it was great. We partnered up for everything. Then school ended and we hung out during the summer.

Do you remember? A few days before we started middle school, we called up Melissa. We hung out at the Santiago, one last time, like the old days. Before all the jealousy and anger and drama. I got the feeling that this was it. That this was the last time of our friendship like it used to be. I ignored it. The feeling scared me. I didn’t want this to be the end. I wanted us to have more memories.

Then we got to middle school. You were still the same, laughing, perfect. But you started to become different. You started to become more controlling, started to become more obsessed with the way you dressed. I noticed it, but didn’t say anything. You even offered me the chance to become popular, told me I had to dress like this and do that.

I refused. I didn’t want to follow you into your dream world. I was happy being me and being someone else went against everything I stood for.

Then you started fighting with Melissa. It got to be too much. I wanted to scream, to shout. I wanted to yell that both of you were being stupid. But mainly you. Just because Melissa sat with other people for lunch didn’t mean that she hated us. She just didn’t want to sit with us that day.

I guess that was the day I started to realize you weren’t the same. I still adored you, but I was slipping away. It wasn’t me that was changing. It was you.

Then I started sitting with Alex and Lola and Kayla and Jane. I liked-no loved-it there. Nobody was fighting, and when they did fight, it wasn’t that big.

We started drifting apart. We stopped talking. You had chosen your path, and I had chosen mine. I had my friends, great friends. You had your shallow friends, the friends who you don’t really see.

Then you started bullying Melissa, something I can’t forgive, something I can never forgive. Melissa was stupid for continuing to hand out with you. But you were even more stupid. Don’t you realize that what you did will live on forever?

It was fun, being friends. But we had our time together. We aren’t the same. You aren’t the same. You’re different.

I wonder if you were always like this, controlling and bossy, but I just never noticed. I think that your desire to be perfect is what destroyed you. Since you realized that you couldn’t be perfect one in grades, you could be perfect in popularity.

I don’t know. I don’t want to delve into your psyche. But I miss you. I miss the times long ago, the times we used to laugh and everything was right with the world. I miss those days. When you used to be you, and I used to be me, and Melissa used to be Melissa.

But it’s gone now. It’s just dust, just a memory. I guess the whole point of this letter was to understand why you did what you did and why I did what I did. You’re always there, laughing with Mikaela and all your new friends. But one day, you’re going to hit earth like an asteroid and crash and burn.
When you come back and hit the earth, call me. I’ll be waiting. I can’t wait to talk.
Love,
Nikki





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